This is both me and my FI 2nd wedding. We want a very small wedding, 30 guests aprx and we are paying for the whole thing. We are having it on an "off" day (a Wednesday) to cut expenses, be more orginial and make it more special. I have a very large, very estraged family, the wedding and funeral type. To my first wedding, everyone came, including my mother's cousins. Obviously, I don't want all them, but I would like to invite my closest family. My Godmother, who is also my mother's sister. My father's oldest sister, whom I am very close and my dearest cousin and her husband. If I invite all my uncles and aunts, it balloons the guest list to 60, way too many! But I feel bad if I just invite the family I want and leave out the rest, isn't that tacky? So am I stuck inviting everyone? Can hope that since it's a Wednesday wedding, I will get a lot of declines, especial from out-of-state family? But then am I setting us up for the whole gang attending and caught in a situation were we can't afford the extras we'd like for ourselves, like a string quartet to play at the ceremony. I also don't want to appear gift seeking by inviting a lot of family. This is a second wedding and many of these people gave gifts at my first (I understand that etiquette states they are not obligated to give gifts for 2nd weddings, but personal I would give a gift and afraid other's would feel the same.) I was considering sending out Save The Date cards and put a little note in the extended family envelopes that states something along the lines of, "Due to the unusual date of our wedding, we understand that many many not be able to attend. Please inform us if you wish not to recieve an invitation" (probably worded classier, but you get the idea). But is that baiting the line for declines? I really don't know what to do. I don't want to slight an already fragmented family further, but I also don't feel the need to be the event that brings people together, especially in a small venue and on my dime. Any advice??