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Wedding Etiquette Forum
gift suggestions for cousins - please help!
Hello,
I am attending two weddings this summer, one is my cousin's, and the other is my cousin-in-law's. Due to unavoidable scheduling conflicts, I will not be able to attend the respective bridal showers. What is an appropriate gift in these cases? I am not particularly close with either bride, but nonetheless, they are family. I am considering gift cards for both, but I can't settle on the amount. I feel like $25 is too little and $50 may be too much. Also, is it appropriate to send a shower gift in the mail or should I include with the wedding gift? Your thoughts would be appreciated!
The other dilemma I have is what to give for the weddings. One wedding is in NJ, where I live, and my husband and I have typically given $200, sometimes more, even for non-family weddings, to make sure our plates are covered. Once we got married, we realized that we have given VERY generous gifts! The other wedding is out of state. Between hotel (2 nights), gas and meals, the trip will cost us about $350-$400. I know it's horrible of me, but I looked up prices at the wedding venue, and entrees are only about $30 tops, per person. I am probably being much too analytical about this, but we've got other expenses to consider and aren't made of money! Right now, I am thinking $200 for the NJ wedding and $150 for the out-of-stater...but is that fair?
Thank you in advance for your advice/opinions!
-Modegirl
I am attending two weddings this summer, one is my cousin's, and the other is my cousin-in-law's. Due to unavoidable scheduling conflicts, I will not be able to attend the respective bridal showers. What is an appropriate gift in these cases? I am not particularly close with either bride, but nonetheless, they are family. I am considering gift cards for both, but I can't settle on the amount. I feel like $25 is too little and $50 may be too much. Also, is it appropriate to send a shower gift in the mail or should I include with the wedding gift? Your thoughts would be appreciated!
The other dilemma I have is what to give for the weddings. One wedding is in NJ, where I live, and my husband and I have typically given $200, sometimes more, even for non-family weddings, to make sure our plates are covered. Once we got married, we realized that we have given VERY generous gifts! The other wedding is out of state. Between hotel (2 nights), gas and meals, the trip will cost us about $350-$400. I know it's horrible of me, but I looked up prices at the wedding venue, and entrees are only about $30 tops, per person. I am probably being much too analytical about this, but we've got other expenses to consider and aren't made of money! Right now, I am thinking $200 for the NJ wedding and $150 for the out-of-stater...but is that fair?
Thank you in advance for your advice/opinions!
-Modegirl
This discussion has been closed.
Re: gift suggestions for cousins - please help!
Second question- again, I usually go by the $25 per person rule, so if I attended by myself I'd give $25 ad if Iwent as a couple I'd give $50. So $150 is very generos (IMO). Of course I don't have a lot of fund to begin with so I just give what I can afford.
The bottom line is: give what you are comfortable with.
[QUOTE]Hello, I am attending two weddings this summer, one is my cousin's, and the other is my cousin-in-law's. Due to unavoidable scheduling conflicts, I will not be able to attend the respective bridal showers. What is an appropriate gift in these cases? I am not particularly close with either bride, but nonetheless, they are family. I am considering gift cards for both, but I can't settle on the amount. I feel like $25 is too little and $50 may be too much. Also, is it appropriate to send a shower gift in the mail or should I include with the wedding gift? Your thoughts would be appreciated! The other dilemma I have is what to give for the weddings. One wedding is in NJ, where I live, and my husband and I have typically given $200, sometimes more, even for non-family weddings, to make sure our plates are covered. Once we got married, we realized that we have given VERY generous gifts! The other wedding is out of state. Between hotel (2 nights), gas and meals, the trip will cost us about $350-$400. I know it's horrible of me, but I looked up prices at the wedding venue, and entrees are only about $30 tops, per person. I am probably being much too analytical about this, but we've got other expenses to consider and aren't made of money! Right now, I am thinking $200 for the NJ wedding and $150 for the out-of-stater...but is that fair? Thank you in advance for your advice/opinions! -Modegirl
Posted by modegirl79[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>You do not need to send a shower gift if you're not going to the shower, although it's nice to do so. I would pick something in the $20-40 range from the registry (or something more expensive that is on sale). You could also do a $25 gift card with a kitchen gadget. </div><div>
</div><div>Don't follow the "cover your plate" rule. Give what you can afford and base it on how close you are with the couple.
</div>
For the wedding gift; again it's whatever you can comfortably give. The "cover your plate" rule isn't a real thing. My go-to wedding gift budget is $100 but again that's me. We received wedding gifts from $20 to $1000. The B&G will appreciate whatever you're comfortable giving. Also I'd be really surprised if the cousins compared gifts received so you don't really have to worry about being "fair". Are you thinking less for the one because their venue is cheaper (which is a pretty schitty reason, IMO) or because you have greater expenses to attend theirs? You're free to give whatever I just wouldn't do it *because* the venue is cheaper.
I agree with J+A and also do not factor in travel costs when attending an out of town wedding in the couple's hometown.
[QUOTE]Hello, I am attending two weddings this summer, one is my cousin's, and the other is my cousin-in-law's. Due to unavoidable scheduling conflicts, I will not be able to attend the respective bridal showers. What is an appropriate gift in these cases? I am not particularly close with either bride, but nonetheless, they are family. I am considering gift cards for both, but I can't settle on the amount. I feel like $25 is too little and $50 may be too much. Also, is it appropriate to send a shower gift in the mail or should I include with the wedding gift? Your thoughts would be appreciated! The other dilemma I have is what to give for the weddings. One wedding is in NJ, where I live, and my husband and I have typically given $200, sometimes more, even for non-family weddings, to make sure our plates are covered. Once we got married, we realized that we have given VERY generous gifts! The other wedding is out of state. Between hotel (2 nights), gas and meals, the trip will cost us about $350-$400. I know it's horrible of me, but I looked up prices at the wedding venue, and entrees are only about $30 tops, per person. I am probably being much too analytical about this, but we've got other expenses to consider and aren't made of money! Right now, I am thinking $200 for the NJ wedding and $150 for the out-of-stater...but is that fair? Thank you in advance for your advice/opinions! -Modegirl
Posted by modegirl79[/QUOTE]
<div>If you are so inclined (as you don't HAVE to buy a shower gift if you're not attending) I'd buy something from their registry and have it shipped to their house around the time of the shower.</div><div>As for wedding gifts, don't cover your plate. Give what you can afford at the time based on your budget and how close you are to the couple. It wouldn't have occurred to me to give less because of travel expenses associated with attending an out of town wedding. I also realized H and I are quite generous when it comes to wedding gifts after our wedding, but we don't plan to change anything up due to that.</div>