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October 2012 Weddings
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bridal shower!

PattySmith101PattySmith101 member
500 Comments Third Anniversary
in October 2012 Weddings
my sister asked me for a guest list so she can start planning the bridal shower ( i know its early but she is not having the shower till september ... with 3 kids all under 10 and a full time job  it takes a while for her to plan things) so i made a list for her i sent it to fmil to make sure i didnt forget anyone on her side that she thinks should be invited( which by the way i did forget fi's 1 aunt opps) , before i sent it to my sister! my list had 32 names on it, just women < not even any of my brothers or dad mind you... not 1 man) she sends me back a list of people i "forgot" ! on her list were 28 more people < actually more but some were doubles>  !!!! also on her list were her brothers, fi's grandfather and a whole lot of people i have never met! a women she works with. fi's brothers wifes sister and mother. fi's aunts parents! like really i tink 32 people is alot of people to have at a shower and she doubled my list... oh and she isnt even the one throwing the shower my sister is!

what do i say to her about these revisions? ugg frustration
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Re: bridal shower!

  • mrshall1027mrshall1027
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary
    I would just be up front with her and tell her that your sister is the one throwing the shower and you don't feel comfortable giving her a list of 50+ people.  You can tell her it's because of space (to fit all the people) and/or money.  That's a lot of people for one person to host.  Or you can tell her that it's going to be a women only shower, so that would eliminate all the men and bring down the guest list.

    Good luck!
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  • lenergyrlahlenergyrlah member
    100 Comments
    I think you should ask your sister approx. how many guests she's envisioning.  Some people invite 50+ people and host it at a restaurant; other times it's in someone's apartment so there's only space for 12.  Once you get an estimate from your sister, tell your mom how many more people you have space for (if any) and ask if she could pick a couple "most important" people from the list.  You should also tell her that this shower is women only.  I guess if she really wants a co-ed shower she can offer to host one herself...
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  • shoebieshoebie member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    Tell her that many people are not in the budget she can pay for  them or limit the list, and def. take the men off
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  • fishinflagrlfishinflagrl
    1000 Comments
    No guys!! I cant believe she would have even thought to invite the guys. I would just let her know that there is a limit of people. Maybe include 2-3 people she requested, but certainly not a co-worker you dont eve know.
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  • lehc723lehc723 member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments
    Ugh, that's the worst. :( I'm sorry. Like PPs said, be up front with her. Best of luck!

    If it helps, I have a feeling I'll be in your shoes before too long. My FMIL casually mentioned a friend of hers wouldn't be able to fly in for my shower (not that I know when it'll be or anything yet, or even where for that matter, ha, but just with the flight for the wedding itself and other travel), and I was like, "Uh, I wouldn't have planned on inviting her?" I mean, there are people who strictly follow the school of thought that you invite every woman who's coming to the wedding, and I just don't agree with that...
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  • staycb01staycb01
    100 Comments
    Ummm it's your shower therefore the people invited should be who YOU want - not who other people want. You should stick with who you want there and let her know that those are the people that you want there. I agree with the other ladies too in telling her women only. Guys don't want to go to that stuff and arent typically ever invited anyways.
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