Air Force, Married young

jelique7 · June 2010

I too am marrying young. I don't think age is the most important ingredient in a relationship. This is not my first relationship but i have felt something completely different with my FI than any other man! He treats me like a queen and i know that sounds completely corny but its true. I have found someone that i WANT to be with. I know i could make it without him but for me, i truly want to be with him because i love him more then i ever thought possible. We have made it though a deployment and came out stronger then ever! We have been through so many life altering situations and never thought we should give up on our relationship. Many people think i am too young but when they hear all that i have accomplished they are surprised, when they get to know my character they understand that age dose not determine anything.

Some people mature at a early age and can handle things that some 30yr olds could not. I don't believe age is the life gauge of experience. If you want it bad enough it will work out.

Congrats to all the ladies who are engaged, young or old.

ps. how can someone put a time limit on love..........i say go for what you want!
whoop whoop

jessiimae22 · June 2010

jelique- congratulations !
it doesn't sound corny dear , i know EXACTLY how you feel !
i definately know how you feel though , i've been through a deployment & alll the training & have dealt with a lot of set back in just two years . Age in my book is definately not a crucial factor , i do agree SOME people are doing it for the wrong reasons . but i know in MY heart that WE are not . i wish you the best of luck & happy planning !

jessiimae22 · June 2010

& jelique
i would love to stay in contact with you !

alwaysforeveralhtjs2011 · June 2010

I am also getting married to an Airman. He leaves in January for basic and we will get married after he is back in June. We are also super young. I will be 18 and he will be 19 when we get married. Although I am nervous about getting married young, I have no reservations about marrying him. I think that if you really love the person, then go for it! There is no point to waiting when you could start you lives together now. Best of luck!

jessiimae22 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_air-force-married-young?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:3833b28e-8043-4b1f-b758-aaf57aaf2420Post:b4e2d6ff-a79a-4880-8ba5-c6391488bd2f">Re: Air Force, Married young</a>:
[QUOTE]I am also getting married to an Airman. He leaves in January for basic and we will get married after he is back in June. We are also super young. I will be 18 and he will be 19 when we get married. Although I am nervous about getting married young, I have no reservations about marrying him. I think that if you really love the person, then go for it! There is no point to waiting when you could start you lives together now. Best of luck!
Posted by alwaysforeveralhtjs2011[/QUOTE]

Good luck to you also . !
i am right there with you dear !

catemeg · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_air-force-married-young?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:3833b28e-8043-4b1f-b758-aaf57aaf2420Post:c1136b0d-4020-44f1-884e-6455117abdbe">Re: Air Force, Married young</a>:
[QUOTE]& i understand that they are saying that , but i dont think that everyone should be so negative . & to your making a strong marriage requirements i dont still live with my parents, & he hasnt lived with his parents for two years . im a pre-med student for crying outloud , i dont "need" someone . but i definately want him .
Posted by jessiimae22[/QUOTE]

Jessiimae, I'm so glad you've found someone you love that deeply, and I wish you the best of luck.

As you are a pre-med student, I was wondering why you don't want to wait a bit longer to get married? No one (least of all me) is suggesting that you should date other people, and I certainly wouldn't suggest I know your relationship well enough to say whether or not you'd make it work. I hear that you both plan on working on it, and I think that's great. That's all any of us can do at any age.

I'm just thinking from a personal standpoint - as a pre-med student, don't you want to go to the best Medical school you get into? Not just whatever school is near his base. Also, if you go to Medical school and become a doctor, that's a career that typically requires you to stay put in one location to establish a practice. Perhaps you might consider Physicians Assistant or Nurse Practitioner? They have many of the same professional skills and experiences as a physician or surgeon, with less risk, shorter amount of school, fewer debts, and much more flexibility, which would make it easier to follow your man.

So I guess I'm curious why you'll sacrifice getting the best education you can just to marry your man now, and to go to school near where he's stationed rather than do what's best for you. If you both love each other so deeply, I imagine he wants you to do what's best for your future.

If you both are really happy, and you have a bunch of plans for a few years (military, more schooling, etc.), why not just hold off on getting married - having a long engagement? I'm not saying it as a safety net "in case you break up", I'm saying it from the mindset that you'll stay together - if you're going to spend your whole life together, why do you want to marry him so soon?

Beachy730 · June 2010

I agree with catemeg. I would never tell someone they shouldn't get married, or that I don't think it will work, but I will say that you need to make sure you keep yourself and your education a priority too. Med school is one profession where the school your degree is from is very important. So sacrificing that is a big decision. If that is what you absolutely know you want to do or be, then I would think carefully about where you are going to do school. Many times when people do the "I'll figure it out when the time comes" thing, your schooling gets put on the backburner and its common that people never finish.

As far as your age, nobody can say the perfect age to get married. When people say that you are too young, its pretty much just off of experience that we have. I am 26 now, and getting married next month. When I was 21 I was dating someone who at the time I loved and thought I wanted to spend my life with. Less than a year later I couldn't stand him and ended our relationship (we weren't engaged yet). Many of us have been in your situation or similar ones, and we can only tell you what we know from our experiences. I am not the same person I was at 18, or 21, or even 24. And it's not just your relationship with your FI, its the same with your friendships too. After high school and even college you are a completely different person. So I think people are just trying to tell you that you can't predict the future, anymore than we can. It is a fact though that the military has very high divorce rates, and many are very young couples. You can't argue facts. But there are also successful marriages too.

Whenever you do get married, good luck. My best advice I will give you is to take advantage of all that the military offers to help your marriage work. There is so much counseling and programs available to couples and individuals, and many people just don't take advantage of it.

ZeeD · June 2010

I married my husband when he was 20 and I was 17 and still in High school! No I do not want my daughters to do this but having said that. I married my soul mate. He was in the Navy and going to A school at the time. We are going on 20 yrs this year. Woo HOO! Just remember to keep your eyes on Jesus. And keep eyes only for him

. Oh, did I mention my 17 yr old is now engaged to a young man who is enlisting into the Airforce. He is waiting for her to graduate high school . Yes, I know. Young, I just pray and trust. God Bless you.

jessiimae22 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_air-force-married-young?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:3833b28e-8043-4b1f-b758-aaf57aaf2420Post:bd4682db-cfde-43a8-91ce-e992ab90ff60">Re: Air Force, Married young</a>:
[QUOTE]I married my husband when he was 20 and I was 17 and still in High school! No I do not want my daughters to do this but having said that. I married my soul mate. He was in the Navy and going to A school at the time. We are going on 20 yrs this year. Woo HOO! Just remember to keep your eyes on Jesus. And keep eyes only for him ;). Oh, did I mention my 17 yr old is now engaged to a young man who is enlisting into the Airforce. He is waiting for her to graduate high school . Yes, I know. Young, I just pray and trust. God Bless you.
Posted by ZeeD[/QUOTE]

Thank you so much ,
we are very trusting in the Lord & go to him with everything .
i do believe that in 20 years , i will be in your shoes .
not neccasarily w/ my daughter . but , that i will be with my man for 20 years .

to you other ladies ,
i know that the risks are high .
but i do believe , that i have found the person i am meant to be with .
i thank you all for your concern though .

as for the school issue ,
i have not yet decided on where i am going to go .
& i have been looking into the Nurse Practitioner degree option as well .
i know it does matter on what school i go to ,
but when the time gets closer to actually enrolling for med school ,
i will make that decision .
i am just in my second semester .
my FI does want whats best for me ,
but whatever that may be .
it will be us together .

kyrgyzstan · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_air-force-married-young?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:3833b28e-8043-4b1f-b758-aaf57aaf2420Post:bd4682db-cfde-43a8-91ce-e992ab90ff60">Re: Air Force, Married young</a>:
[QUOTE]I married my husband when he was 20 and I was 17 and still in High school! No I do not want my daughters to do this but having said that. I married my soul mate. He was in the Navy and going to A school at the time. We are going on 20 yrs this year. Woo HOO! Just remember to keep your eyes on Jesus. And keep eyes only for him ;). Oh, did I mention my 17 yr old is now engaged to a young man who is enlisting into the Airforce. He is waiting for her to graduate high school . Yes, I know. Young, I just pray and trust. God Bless you.
Posted by ZeeD[/QUOTE]

<div>IMO, this is actually a post that argues against young marriages. While it's great and amazing that your marriage has lasted the way it has, is this what you hoped for your daughter?</div><div>
</div><div>She's not even an adult yet, and already making plans for the rest of her life. It's sad to me. I hope my daughters choose to experience the things I did before they settle down. I paid my own way, learned financial management, lived abroad on my own dime (not as a student), etc. I also got married too young and divorced very young. </div><div>
</div><div>I hope things work out for her the way they did for you. </div>

jfg4u4 · June 2010

At any age, a marriage into the military is strenuous. I have grown up around the military and my family has for generations. I can tell you that there are marriages at all different ages and points in life that fail and there are those that last. The main thing is your understanding and commitment. As a Christian God calls marriage partners to not only love unconditionally but also to respect unconditionally. Be sure you are ready and able to fulfill this role. as a military wife you will have in some ways an even greater sacrifice, but through Christ you can succeed.

jessiimae22 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_air-force-married-young?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:3833b28e-8043-4b1f-b758-aaf57aaf2420Post:331451a5-4070-4dbd-a2ef-48e842aa881b">Re: Air Force, Married young</a>:
[QUOTE]At any age, a marriage into the military is strenuous. I have grown up around the military and my family has for generations. I can tell you that there are marriages<strong> at all different ages and points in life that fail and there are those that last</strong>. The main thing is your understanding and commitment. As a Christian God calls marriage partners to not only love unconditionally but also to respect unconditionally. Be sure you are ready and able to fulfill this role.<strong> as a military wife you will have in some ways an even greater sacrifice, but through Christ you can succeed.</strong>
Posted by jfg4u4@yahoo.com[/QUOTE]

i definately agree with these statements !
thank you for your kind words & encouragement .

catemeg · June 2010

I'm thrilled that so many of you find comfort and strength through your belief in God, and use that connection to build a strong and lasting relationship.

However, I do not feel like "we trust in God" or "when God wants us to get married" are really good answers when someone asks why you want to get married so young. God gave you the ability to reason, and to make rational decisions. You are making the decision on when to get married, of course with the guidance provided by your religious beliefs.

Use your own logic and reasoning and make the best decisions for yourself. Perhaps God sent me to ask you those questions so that you can make the decision he wants you to? Who really knows... we can all interpret what God does or doesn't want from us differently. What I do know is that you make the decision on when and who to marry. Once you're married, by all means trust that God will protect your loved one and will help strengthen your relationship. But don't use the name of God to justify your actions.

catemeg · June 2010

Also, are you reading your own posts? Several of you have now said that while you think it's fine for you to get married now because you love each other and want to spend as much time together as possible (which is great, but you don't need to be married to spend time together) you wouldn't want your own daughters to get married at 17?

If you wouldn't wish it on hypothetical daughters, why are you any different?

I just am worried for you - statistically, military marriages have less than a 50% chance of survival. Seriously! When you're under 21, that statistic goes to about 75%, according to the military psychologist who lectured my BF's USMC Officer Candidate class. Based on simple math, that means the marriages from people under 21 are pulling down the average of successful marriages, meaning you have better than a 50% chance of making it work if you wait until you're 21.

That means only 25% of you will still be married in 20 years, like the poster who married her soul mate (congratulations!). That's wonderful for the 25%, but if someone told me waiting a few years would give me more than 25% better chance of winning the lottery, I'd definitely wait. If you're going to be together forever anyway, what's the difference if you date a few more years?

It takes a lot more work, a lot of sacrifice, and a lot of luck to make a marriage work when you marry a) young and b) into the military.

jfg4u4 · June 2010

God did give each of us the ability to reason and make decision with that He also gave us guidance. It is important to not just marry off of feelings using your God given reasoning ability is important..

As a Christian God calls marriage partners to not only love unconditionally but also to respect unconditionally. Be sure you are ready and able to fulfill this role.

Anyone considering marriage, should wait until they are truly mature enough to fulfill this role, Christian or not. Especially when marrying into the military, you should wait until you can be selfless enough to care for another more than yourself.

Marriage is a covenant meant to be made for life and not to be rushed into.

catemeg · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_air-force-married-young?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:3833b28e-8043-4b1f-b758-aaf57aaf2420Post:22e6c8d2-c244-437b-bc9b-4b95741ddd70">Re: Air Force, Married young</a>:
[QUOTE] God did give each of us the ability to reason and make decision with that He also gave us guidance. It is important to not just marry off of feelings using your God given reasoning ability is important. . As a Christian God calls marriage partners to not only love unconditionally but also to respect unconditionally. Be sure you are ready and able to fulfill this role. Anyone considering marriage, should wait until they are truly mature enough to fulfill this role, Christian or not. Especially when marrying into the military, you should wait until you can be selfless enough to care for another more than yourself. Marriage is a covenant meant to be made for life and not to be rushed into.
Posted by jfg4u4@yahoo.com[/QUOTE]

See, that is how religion should be used in a relationship/marriage! As a way to strengthen your bond and help support you through difficult times. Not as an excuse to make hasty decisions. Thank you!

jessiimae22 · June 2010

I am not using my religion to make hasty decisions. I am simply stating, that i do believe in God & i have looked to him for guidance on everything thus far in my life & i will continue to do that.

I know you ladies are just here to give me the cold hard facts,
& i thank you for that. I do know that marriages into the military are hard. I know that young marriages are hard. But, i would not be getting married if i didn't think it was right.

& just because you ladies are older, doesn't mean you know exactly how your marriage is going to turn out, much less my marriage. If this is a mistake, which i know it is not, it is a mistake i will have to make & learn from myself.

You all probably think im some flighty person, which i am far from. But i do believe i am making the right decision.

jessiimae22 · June 2010

[QUOTE] Anyone considering marriage, should wait until they are truly mature enough to fulfill this role, Christian or not. Especially when marrying into the military, you should wait until you can be selfless enough to care for another more than yourself. <strong>Marriage is a covenant meant to be made for life and not to be rushed into.
</strong>Posted by jfg4u4@yahoo.com[/QUOTE]

I know this.

uronlyHope · June 2010

My fiance is in the airforce. Hes stationed at the keesler afb in Biloxi,Ms. Im 19 and he is 20. His family thinks we are to young and my family supports us. Honestly you shouldnt care what anyone thinks as long as your both in love and ready to commit to each other. Jeremy and I are getting married this saturday at the New Orleans courthouse and then in december we are having a traditional wedding in our hometown in Florida. I CANT WAIT!

jessiimae22 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_air-force-married-young?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:3833b28e-8043-4b1f-b758-aaf57aaf2420Post:ebcc21f5-4d85-4066-b5e1-afd553908489">Re: Air Force, Married young</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance is in the airforce. Hes stationed at the keesler afb in Biloxi,Ms. Im 19 and he is 20. His family thinks we are to young and my family supports us. Honestly you shouldnt care what anyone thinks as long as your both in love and ready to commit to each other. Jeremy and I are getting married this saturday at the New Orleans courthouse and then in december we are having a traditional wedding in our hometown in Florida. I CANT WAIT!
Posted by uronlyHope[/QUOTE]

Aww , congratulations !

I don't really care what others think.
It is just very irritating , having all of these ladies tell me that my marriage is going to fail. They don't know any better than i what is going to happen in the next year , two , even forty years. But i know that whatever does happen , i will have my FI right next to my side. <em>HAPPILY </em>married.

catemeg · June 2010

Jess, no one said your marriage will fail (at least I didn't).

What we said is that marriages by young soldiers have less than a 25% chance of success.

Marriages by soldiers over 21 years old typically have a 50% chance of success.

Those aren't odds I would take so lightly. I do seriously hope all of you who get married young make it work, because divorce and unhappy marriages are both very sad things. But there are so many young brides here - how many of them do you think will be divorced in 10 years? 6 or 7 out of every 10.

You said you're pre-med - if someone had an elective surgery with a 25% survival rate, would you recommend it? If they waited 2 years to have it and then had a 50% survival rate, which would be the better option?

jessiimae22 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_air-force-married-young?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:3833b28e-8043-4b1f-b758-aaf57aaf2420Post:8a3d09b7-eefd-4f0a-9d7f-470a3de97417">Re: Air Force, Married young</a>:
[QUOTE]You said you're pre-med - if someone had an elective surgery with a 25% survival rate, would you recommend it? If they waited 2 years to have it and then had a 50% survival rate, which would be the better option?
Posted by catemeg[/QUOTE]

Depending on the type of surgery & what the conditons were ,
I would recommend the better option for the <em>patient. </em>The ultimate choice would be left up to the patient though. As thier doctor , i would let them know of my concerns & the possible outcomes ,but in the end . it <strong>would</strong> be thier own choice.

catemeg · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_air-force-married-young?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:3833b28e-8043-4b1f-b758-aaf57aaf2420Post:7e10175a-285b-48ff-b424-6f1190a6c880">Re: Air Force, Married young</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Air Force, Married young : Depending on the type of surgery & what the conditons were , I would recommend the better option for the patient. The ultimate choice would be left up to the patient though. As thier doctor , i would let them know of my concerns & the possible outcomes ,but in the end . it would be thier own choice.
Posted by jessiimae22[/QUOTE]

Obviously. As it is in this situation.

And yes, even with 75% of young military marriages failing, 25% of marriages will work, and it sounds like you're pretty certain yours is in that 25%. I'm glad, and I wish you the best.

Still, I wouldn't think 75% of young military brides going in believe theirs will fail. Otherwise they might have waited...

jessiimae22 · June 2010

Welll thank you very much .
i wish you the best as well .

jfg4u4 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_air-force-married-young?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:3833b28e-8043-4b1f-b758-aaf57aaf2420Post:41a0b887-59c6-42e7-a9ee-8f56e71efc31">Re: Air Force, Married young</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Air Force, Married young : Aww , congratulations ! I don't really care what others think. It is just very irritating , having all of these ladies tell me that my marriage is going to fail. They don't know any better than i what is going to happen in the next year , two , even forty years. But i know that whatever does happen , i will have my FI right next to my side. HAPPILY married.
Posted by jessiimae22[/QUOTE]

<div>Good for you that is what matters :)</div><div>i'm not that much older just letting you know.</div><div>May God bless you and your fiance both. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" /></div>

jessiimae22 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_air-force-married-young?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:3833b28e-8043-4b1f-b758-aaf57aaf2420Post:5df8f580-e5c0-4ae4-b354-618b21abbe4c">Re: Air Force, Married young</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Air Force, Married young : Good for you that is what matters :) i'm not that much older just letting you know. May God bless you and your fiance both.
Posted by jfg4u4@yahoo.com[/QUOTE]

Thank you !
& May God bless you & yours as well .

joiner521 · July 2010

You are way to young. Most marriages that start at a early age end in divorce. The away you think now is not the same way you think at 30. I at married at 23. He was a huge mistake. You are caught up in being married. Now I am engaged to a WONDERFUL man. I do not want for anything. I am 32 now and see life differently.

kyrgyzstan · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_air-force-married-young?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:3833b28e-8043-4b1f-b758-aaf57aaf2420Post:e05447db-d08f-440a-a6f5-6f45b68cffe9">Re: Air Force, Married young</a>:
[QUOTE] MAJOR CABLE NETWORK IS LOOKING FOR TEENAGERS WHO ARE ENGAGED AND/OR PLANNING TO BE MARRIED. Are you, or do you know a teenage couple who are engaged or planning to be married? If so, we want to hear from you. We are looking for the perfect teen couple (16-19) who are getting married for all the right reasons. This show will tell their love story up to the wedding including the involvement of family and friends. If this sounds like you or someone you know, contact us asap at [REDACTED] with a brief introduction, your contact information and a current photo of the couple. The couple chosen to appear will receive $5,000.00.
Posted by frankgarrityisavendor[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>LOL at THIS being posted in this thread a year later, and tears at all the young pregnancies right after marriage. </div><div>
</div><div>Hike, don't delete me, I took out his contact info!

</div>

LetsHikeToday · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_air-force-married-young?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:3833b28e-8043-4b1f-b758-aaf57aaf2420Post:4769063f-ecc7-4059-9205-182307fe9e4c">Re: Air Force, Married young</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Air Force, Married young : LOL at THIS being posted in this thread a year later, and tears at all the young pregnancies right after marriage. Hike, don't delete me, I took out his contact info!
Posted by WishIcouldbeinthe'stan[/QUOTE]

Deleted him and not you.

Actually, I've been getting PMs from randos asking if I would find "real military brides" for them to talk to. Totally scammers trying to get business. Good being on the look out Stan.

LetsHikeToday · August 2011

P.S. This reminds me of the show engaged and underage. I'm kinda grossed out that they stereotyped military brides as being young and engaged.

Air Force, Married young

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