August 2012 Weddings

VENT / Bridal Shower and Invitations

Last night my FI tells me that his mom "slipped up" and asked her sister if she was coming to my bridal shower. I DIDNT EVEN KNOW SHE HAD A SISTER! How awful is that? I know that I've heard about her before, but I forgot all about it. When I was asked to go over the guestlist for my shower, I cut out almost all of FI's family because they're 99% OOT (like a few hours up north) and I do NOT do well with receiving gifts or having people dote on me. (Shoulda seen me at my baby shower, AWKWARD). I wanted to save the OOTers the money in gas and lodging so i just didn't invite them.  SO I had my MoH mail out an invite to the sister first thing this morning (I haven't even met her yet!). I feel so horribly guilty. Apparently she gets her mail late regardless so my FMIL says she'll think nothing of it. Now I'm thinking I should have just invited all of FI's female family members but I just really didn't wanna burden anyone!

I REALLY wish I had just told my MoH to talk to my mom and my FMIL for advice on who to invite to the shower. I also didn't wanna put my MoH out because she would have had to book a hall for the full group of women whereas now she can just host it at her home. 

I have OCD / severe anxiety and self-deprecating issues, so naturally I feel like a huge a-hole now and feel like I'll never ever live this down and that my action of cutting that guest list was unforgivable.  :(  I wish people could look into my head and know how I'm feeling about this stuff! Cause I don't wanna disclude anyone - I just don't want to burden anyone!!! I didn't even wanna register for gifts for the wedding! LOL
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Re: VENT / Bridal Shower and Invitations

  • awwwww you poor thing, DON'T FEEL BAD!  1) you did nothing wrong by not including her...I can only imagine she's not very close to your FI if you haven't even met her and 2) she'll get the invite and not know any different.  It will all work out.  Just try to enjoy your shower =D
  • I would ask your MOH how many more people she could accomodate in her home.  With that number in mind, why not go to your FMIL and ask if there is anyone else she feels should have been invited?  Tell her you feel awful, but didn't want to burden anyone and that you're not a fan of crowds.  She knows you and probably understands how you feel.  But, if there's a few important people, it will give her the opportunity to add them and have them receive invites, at least.  I went through the guest list with FI & FMIL and asked who should be invited to the shower and let their say rule for their side of the family even if it meant inviting OOTs that likely would not attend.  The gesture of an invite is nice.

    AND, don't beat yourself up!! 
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  • Yeah I already had my FI ask his mom who else should be included last night while he was talking to her. She's going to let me know. :( The shower is on June 24th, so it's cutting it close on last minute invites!!! She just mailed them out to the reg guests when I mailed out my wedding invites so I guess that's not too terrible... ugh

    stressful!
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