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Wedding Etiquette Forum
NickiAyon2B
member
Help with F's sisters/possible bridesmaids question... sigh.
Okay. Recently engaged. The fiancee's 2 sisters and sister in law are like the 3 musketeers. They basically already assumed they are going to be bridesmaids but the problem is that me and him never ever planned to have a big bridal party. Just me and my maid of honor (who's been my best friend since we were *4 years old*) and his brother, the best man.
I want to ask the 3 to be in the wedding but I'm already annoyed because one of the sisters just absolutely does not understand my relationship with my best friend. She is like a sister to me, especially compared to them. The sister doesn't have any friends at all so it really annoys me that before we've even asked them to be in it that she's already making snarky comments about my best friend, never mind that she's the only that that is officially in the wedding so far. Plus, me and the sister do not have the best past relationships.
What the heck do I do???/
I want to ask the 3 to be in the wedding but I'm already annoyed because one of the sisters just absolutely does not understand my relationship with my best friend. She is like a sister to me, especially compared to them. The sister doesn't have any friends at all so it really annoys me that before we've even asked them to be in it that she's already making snarky comments about my best friend, never mind that she's the only that that is officially in the wedding so far. Plus, me and the sister do not have the best past relationships.
What the heck do I do???/
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Re: Help with F's sisters/possible bridesmaids question... sigh.
Instead of asking them to be BMs, would asking all three of them to do a reading be a fair solution?
Also, I think I posted on the wrong board. whoops. lol
Honestly, you don't have to ask them. If your FI wants them in the wedding, they can always stand on his side. Or they can do a reading, or just be guests. If you don't have good relationships with them, you shouldn't feel pressure to ask them to be in the wedding. Just stick to his brother and your best friend. That sounds like the best option. There are so many bonuses to having a small wedding party. And if they want to get involved, there are plenty ways for them to help. If they're upset about not being asked, just smile, say "well now you don't have to buy an ugly expensive dress!" and change the subject. Or at least, that's what I would do :-p
[QUOTE]Ready for the standard regurgitated answer?? Don't ask anyone yet. You'll be sorry. Wait a few months. Honestly, you don't have to ask them. If your FI wants them in the wedding, they can always stand on his side.
Posted by JK10910[/QUOTE]
I agree with this.
Have you set a date yet? If not, you shouldn't even have to worry about this until later--at which point, you may know whether you want them in your wedding or not.
Vacation with Alix, Andy, Mandy, and FLORENCE. AND HER MACHINE.
The Margarita Evolution
[QUOTE]Okay. Recently engaged. The fiancee's 2 sisters and sister in law are like the 3 musketeers. They basically already assumed they are going to be bridesmaids but the problem is that me and him never ever planned to have a big bridal party. Just me and my maid of honor (who's been my best friend since we were *4 years old*) and his brother, the best man. I want to ask the 3 to be in the wedding but I'm already annoyed because one of the sisters just absolutely does not understand my relationship with my best friend. She is like a sister to me, especially compared to them. The sister doesn't have any friends at all so it really annoys me that before we've even asked them to be in it that she's already making snarky comments about my best friend, never mind that she's the only that that is officially in the wedding so far. Plus, me and the sister do not have the best past relationships. What the heck do I do???/
Posted by NickiAyon2B[/QUOTE]
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
40/112
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Help with F's sisters/possible bridesmaids question... sigh. : Have you set a date yet? If not, you shouldn't even have to worry about this until later--at which point, you may know whether you want them in your wedding or not.
Posted by RachNRich[/QUOTE]
I was thinking this too, only it sounds like OP has already picked her BFF to be her BM, and has told FI's sisters about it, which is why they are already badmouthing the BFF. She shouldn't have mentioned a BP yet at all, but I think that cat's out of the bag.
Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?
"cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
[QUOTE]Cherokee County. Canton, specifically. =)
Posted by NickiAyon2B[/QUOTE]
Small world. I work in Canton.
YOU do nothing. Nothing. Really.
You have already chosen your BFF as your attendant - she is someone you know, who has been beside you through thick and thin, who has been with you through your courtship with FI. That's the very definition of bridesmaid/MOH.
These other women are NOT close friends of yours for a long, important time, have NOT been with you through thick and thin, etc. So of course you would NOT ask them to stand up on your side - you don't even KNOW these women.
If they are close to FI, it's HIS call what to do with them. He can walk out with his Best Man and stand on his side, he can ask them to do readings, he can ask them to do something else. Whatever HE wants to do with these women regarding his wedding, HE does it - HE talks to them, etc.
And HE is the one who talks to them, esp the one woman, about mocking your BFF/MOH.
You do nothing.