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How to inform guests that we would like for them to ship or give cash...

ambernicoleharperambernicoleharper
in Registry and Gift Forum
My fiance are getting married in Houston, Texas, where we met and where I was born and raised.  We now live in Reno, NV and I am having such difficulty with how to properly word asking our guests to either ship any presents or give cash or gift certificates in order for us to avoid a huge shipping cost after the wedding, plus we are leaving for our honeymoon the day after the wedding from Houston.  I have created a wedding website where I was going to list the information, but is it proper to ask them to do this?  And if so, are there any ideas of how to word it? 

Thanks so much!!!
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Re: How to inform guests that we would like for them to ship or give cash...

  • hoffsehoffse member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    You imply that you want cash by making a small registry.  You never ask for cash.  Guests are supposd to have gifts shipped before the wedding.  Just put your home address in NV as the shipping address and you'll be good to go.  Also you may want to register for light/packable things on the off-chance that a few people will bring physical gifts to the wedding (think towels, sheets, etc).
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  • OsterizerOsterizer member
    First Comment
    You can't dictate how to receive a gift from your guests or that you want cash.  Knowing that you live out of state and that it is general custom not to bring an actual gift to the wedding, your guests will probably have it shipped to you anyway.  Sorry, but you'll have to foot the shipping bill for any gifts brought to the wedding.
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  • jagore08jagore08 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Anniversary First Comment
    We was married across country from were we live.  My guests either had the item shipped to us (they purchased online and was directly shipped to our home) or they gave us a monetary gift at the reception.  There were a couple of gifts from our registry that were brought to the reception and we shipped them home on our dime.  Most people know to ship the gifts to your home or give a monetary gift at the reception.  

    That's the situation you deal with when having a wedding that's far away from your home.  You cannot tell your guests how you would like to receive your gifts.  Getting them home is up to you.
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  • maribeth721maribeth721
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    I went to a shower last year for a friend of mine. Both she and her FI are in the Air Force. She flew in for the weekend of her bridal shower and flew back Sunday night. Obviously she couldn't really take gifts with her. I think her Mom put something on the invitation like, "The bride and groom have registered at X. Due to the bride living out of town of the location of the shower gift cards are appreciated." Something along those lines. I remember even thinking it was a good idea to tell people that because of her unique circumstance. Something like that is ok I think.
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  • GoodLuckBear14GoodLuckBear14 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_how-to-inform-guests-that-we-would-like-for-them-to-ship-or-give-cash?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:cfb20991-0699-4a36-9214-2b8dc0f84d19Post:af5832f2-a4ac-44b4-a6ac-3336ab4ba550">Re: How to inform guests that we would like for them to ship or give cash...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I went to a shower last year for a friend of mine. Both she and her FI are in the Air Force. She flew in for the weekend of her bridal shower and flew back Sunday night. Obviously she couldn't really take gifts with her. I think her Mom put something on the invitation like, "The bride and groom have registered at X. Due to the bride living out of town of the location of the shower gift cards are appreciated." Something along those lines. I remember even thinking it was a good idea to tell people that because of her unique circumstance. Something like that is ok I think.
    Posted by maribeth721[/QUOTE]

    You can mention gifts on the shower invitations but never on wedding invites.

    As an aside, it was pretty ballsy of the hostess of the shower to ask for gift cards instead of physical gifts.  It's the same as asking for cash. The brides should have paid to have everything shipped back, registered somewhere like BB&B where she could have returned everything and then repurchased it once she was home or declined any kind of gift giving shower.

    OP - We shipped gifts brought to the reception in San Francisco to our home here.  It wasn't nearly as expensive as we thought it would be using the USPS.
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  • MNVegasMNVegas member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    There is no polite way to ask for cash or gifts cards so I would leave out any wording pertaining to that idea. People already know cash is a great gift and don't need to be asked for it. Do a small registry for people who want to give boxed gift and others will get the hint that cash is appreciated.

    Put whatever address you prefer on your registry and gifts will be shipped to that address. I assume if people are close enough to you to be invited to your wedding then they know you are getting married in a different state than where you live and will opt to ship gift.  If someone does bring a gift to the wedding, then either have it shipped to your house or return it to the store then repurchase a store where you live. 
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  • WiscisblissWiscisbliss
    First Comment
    Hopefully most of your guests know where you live and are not morons.  If that is true then you should not have a problem getting most items shipped to you or a cash gift at the wedding.  You will probably get a few gifts at the wedding, so just be prepared and have a plan to get them home.  
      
    If your guests are morons, they probably wouldn't follow instructions anyway ;)
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  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited April 2012
    You can't ask for cash.  Please, don't even try.  Actually, directions about gifts are never a good idea.  Ever.

    If you really prefer cash, make a small registry and people will get the hint.

    Many people will ship the gifts to your home, but some might bring them to the wedding.  The onus is on YOU to get them home, not pass the shipping costs off to your guests because you "don't want to deal with it."

    Either ship them home after the wedding or return them to the store/re-buy when you get home.

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  • Jdunk2008Jdunk2008
    First Comment First Anniversary
    maybe you could include something like..

    Have your registry listed then follow that line with: Please send gifts to (address)

    Then if they have further questions they can ask.
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  • gailpetegailpete member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_how-to-inform-guests-that-we-would-like-for-them-to-ship-or-give-cash?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:cfb20991-0699-4a36-9214-2b8dc0f84d19Post:891315be-1d94-4af5-ab65-e58e4811ad55">Re: How to inform guests that we would like for them to ship or give cash...</a>:
    [QUOTE]maybe you could include something like.. Have your registry listed then follow that line with: Please send gifts to (address) Then if they have further questions they can ask.
    Posted by Jdunk2008[/QUOTE]

    This is bad advice.  As PPs have said, gifts and registries should never be mentioned on the wedding invitations.
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  • mes54mes54
    First Anniversary First Comment
    we are getting married in ny but live in tx. I registered in stores that offer free shipping, so for gifts I cannot get back, I will return and repurchase to be shipped to my home.
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