Mom or MOH?

sew2012 · June 2011

I really have no one that I am close enough to to even fathom asking one of my girl friends to be my moh. I always thought my sister would be my number one choice but we have been drifting apart the past few years, plus she likes everything to be about her so I'm not sure if she would be the best choice. I mean I love my sister but I don't think I feel close enough to trust her with such a big job. I have recently been thinking about having my mom be my moh but every time I bring it up someone, my bf, friends, always tell me that a mom shouldn't be my moh. I am just so confused on what to do...I mean we have a while until the wedding but I am already torn at what to do. Any advice? Can the mother of the bride be the maid of honor?

ADTonk · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mom-moh-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:964c45e5-9da8-4f9f-a26c-d029dd5411eaPost:357c110f-b502-407b-9382-7bfcbb14061d">Mom or MOH?</a>:
[QUOTE]I really have no one that I am close enough to to even fathom asking one of my girl friends to be my moh. I always thought my sister would be my number one choice but we have been drifting apart the past few years, plus she likes everything to be about her so I'm not sure if she would be the best choice. I mean I love my sister <strong>but I don't think I feel close enough to trust her with such a big job.</strong> I have recently been thinking about having my mom be my moh but every time I bring it up someone, my bf, friends, always tell me that a mom shouldn't be my moh. I am just so confused on what to do...I mean we have a while until the wedding but I am already torn at what to do. Any advice? Can the mother of the bride be the maid of honor?
Posted by sew2012[/QUOTE]

If she can buy the dress and stand next to you on your wedding day, she meets the qualifications.

If you're worried about whether she is going to be able to throw you a shower or not, rest assured that someone will <em>probably</em> offer if she is unable to do so.

Edited for clarity.

felicia220 · June 2011

My mother was my Matron of Honor. I don't see why anyone would tell you that she can't be. If you feel that your mother is who should be right by your side on the day of your wedding, then do it and don't let anyone tell you that you can't. For me, it was no question, my mother and I are very close and I couldn't imagine anyone else filling the MOH shoes better than her.

MairePoppy · June 2011

The only duties associated with being MOH are buying the dress, showing up sober and on time for the ceremony, holding your flowers and signing the marriage certificate if required. Many maids of honor volunteer to throw a shower or help the bride out in other ways, but they are not required to do so.

You can ask anyone, including your mom, to be your MOH. She may be thrilled that you asked. Or she might be content in her role as MOB, which is pretty special.

Your wedding isn't until July 2014. It's much too early to choose a wedding party. Wait until 6-9 months before your wedding to decide who you would like to stand beside you, because once you ask, you can't take it back. In the meantime, check out the 'wedding party' board. You will read many posts from brides who chose too early and regret it.

And over the next two years, I hope you work on your relationship with your sister. You may decide that she is your best choice, by then.

Congratulations on your engagement.

regfalange · June 2011

Anyone can be your MOH that you want. My father had his father as his best man when my parents got married. And he had a brother that he wasn't very close to.

AdeleDazeem · June 2011

Ditto Maire in all respects.

Congrats on your engagement!

CassieeK · June 2011

Just enjoy your engagement for now. 3 years is a long time to plan, and you could meet someone tomorrow who becomes your soulmate BFF.

beckyjason10 · June 2011

Asking your mother to be MOH would be a very nice gesture on your part, and I'm sure your mom would be elated at the idea. It's your wedding and you need to include the people who make you feel the most comfortable and want to be there for you. I would make sure to include your sister some way, otherwise that may be a disaster, maybe have them be co-MOH, is there a rule against having two MOHs?

sevatipari · June 2011

When my cousin got married his father was his Best Man. No one gets to tell you who your WP gets to be that's YOUR choice. If you want your mom then ask her. If she's not comfortable or just wants to be the Mother of the Bride then she'll tell you. I originally wanted to ask my mom but knew she wouldn't be comfortable standing up in front of everyone cause she'd rather stand in the background. She's slightly agoraphobic and hates crowds...though she's gotten a lot better than she was when I was little. She says it's cause I forced her to come out of her shell cause she had to talk to my teachers and coaches and stuff. And as for the people who say all your sister has to do is buy the dress and stand up there? Yes that's true but when you consider someone for your WP you also have to think about how much drama they're going to cause. Why deal with that stress and force your guests to have to deal with it if you don't have to?

Kniblet · June 2011

Enjoy the next 3 years and wait to ask anyone to stand up with you. It's FAR too early to pick BM's. So much can change in 3 years.

Good luck and congrats on the engagement.

Muffin'sMom · June 2011

Enjoy being engaged and DO NOT get involved in serious planning until 2013. So many things will change between now and then. Don't tie yourself to a decision that you will then be stuck with when your feelings change.

sallen218 · June 2011

I'm having my mom as my MOH and she was very flattered that I asked her. You should do what makes you happy and who cares what other people think. Atleast you know she will be there to help you.

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