June 2013 Weddings

Sisterly drama

Welp, it's my turn with some drama with my sister. Curious as to whether I have the right to be upset or not. 

This sister is also the one who stepped out of my bridal party due to "financial issues" and the very next day got two more tattoos. She became engaged a few months after I did and immediately said her wedding was going to be a few weeks before ours, her fiance spoke up and said he didn't want to get married so soon and he wanted to push it back to 2014-2015. 

Today I find out from her that their date is: June 14, 2014. o.O Exactly one year from my wedding.

WTF. 
I'm furious. I understand that it's a year away and everything. But really? The 14th of June?! Out of alllll the freaking days in the year?!?! 

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Re: Sisterly drama

  • Ok, I don't have any siblings, but this just seems *wrong*. It's not like her dream venue ONLY has that particular date open in 2014. Your wedding date is special, and for your sister to not understand that just baffles me. I'm sorry she's being like this. There is no need. I'd be upset too!
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  • She just told me she didn't know which date I had picked and she picked one that would be easy for her FI to remember.
    ....what in the hell kind of reason is this?! 

    Oh, and her venue is going to be a backyard. (At least it was the last time we spoke about wedding stuff)

    I'm so angry I have a migraine now. I swear my head almost exploded.
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  • Oh if this was my sister, I would have CHOKED HER! lol from all my posts you know me and my sis are not close...at all. But if this would have happened, oh it would have been on! Can't she pick a different date? I mean wow. Don't act like it bothers you at all. If she just did it to piss you off, then maybe if you play it cool, she'll realize that her evil little plan didn't work and *hopefully* change her date :)
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  • Klyn1983Klyn1983 member
    First Comment
    edited March 2012
    She just apologized (sorta) and said she would change the date because she felt bad. Originally she said "Well the date isn't set in stone, it is over 2 years away"

    Exactly. You have nothing set yet, so change the date. Thankyouverymuch.

    I'm not trying to have a "Bridezilla moment" or anything, I realize that tons of people are getting married, June is a popular wedding month, and odds are someone else that we know is going to have their wedding on our day in the future (or we are getting married on their anniversary). I just don't want to have the same wedding date as my sisters or FSIL's. I want to be able to have that date be special to us.  


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  •  I completely understand that. She shouldn't pick a date that means nothing to her. Well no bride in general should do that. FI and I picked June because both our parents got married in June. We picked the 29th because we started dating on the 29th.

    lol your not being a bridezilla...at all
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  • You're not being a bridezilla at all! My sisters and I are very close and I would hope (fingers crossed) that this would never happen, but if it did I would react the exact way that you did!

    Hopefully she does end up changing the date!

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  • That sounds like something my sister would do!  You have every right to be mad!  I think it's good that she will be changing her date.  It sounds like she is just trying to start up drama.  My sister is single and she still manages to interrupt all of my wedding planning conversations with her wedding plans.  i'm getting married in a mansion in a state park in PA, and coincidently she is now planning on getting married in a mansion in a state park in DE.  My mom says it is just jealousy and all sisters get it during weddings, so hopefully both of our sisters calm down!  Maybe you could help your sister get excited about a fall or winter wedding?  That way she can't take all your ideas?  Good luck!
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  • Uh oh, so here I go against the grain...  but the good news is it seems the issue has come and gone.

    I personally don't understand why someone can't get married before or after you, or on a certain day.  You don't really own anything, and no matter what they are going to be different.  I guarantee that if this would have festered a little bit, she would be the one realizing that she doesn't want to share her date either, and it would likely change anyway. 

    Competitiveness between siblings is natural, but one day you both will be able to look back on the time you both were engaged together, and it would be nice to remember doing things together instead of how you spent the time trying to one-up the other.  Honestly, I can't get Bride Wars out of my head lol.  Do your best to just let her TRY to one-up you, but take it with class and once she sees that it doesn't impact you, she will actually start planning with her FI (since it's clear she is making decisions without him right now lol).

    I wish I had a sister, or even a best girl friend I could share my excitement with (my best friends are guys) so do your best to not let those petty things bother you.  Even if her goal in life might be to drive you nuts lol...  But seriously, does it REALLY matter what day she gets married?

    Again, so sorry to play devil's advocate, but I am generally pretty nonchalant about these things.  If FI's bro gets engaged before our wedding (entirely possible, theyve been talking about it) I wouldn't care if theirs was the day before mine, I would have fun planning the both of them together.
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  • I think you have every right to be upset. I would be upset too, there is absolutely no reason that she cant change her date, its 2 years in advance. FI reading over my should said he would be upset too lol.
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  • Don't feel bad about being upset at all. I would have been crying uncontrollably. As previously said, it looks like her drama is fading away so don't let it get to you. Focus on more important things, like getting to marry your best friend!
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  • Things are calm now, she changed the date to the end of June. FI was pretty upset about the whole situation though. 

    @ ashlidie, I could care less if she has it on the 13th, 15th or any other day of any other month...but to choose June 14th when she knew we picked it was just plain rude. We aren't very close to begin with, it's a complicated story but basically I didn't even know she existed until we were both adults. 

    There is a level of competition coming from her which I never expected. I wish we could plan our weddings together, but sadly that won't ever happen. Too much has happened now to think we can have those bonding moments. When she stepped down from the bridal party, I realized our relationship meant nothing to her. 
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  • Yikes!

    My sister isnt married yet but I really hope things don't get competitve between us (And I don't think she will be getting married before me to be honest as I know they are saving up for a home which is awesome!)

    Yes it is a year away but in my family/ close circle of friends we have a little bbq or party (depending on time of the year) for the 1st anniversary so that would have to be postponed or cancelled (not THAT big of a deal but it's something I've grown used to and look forward to on our anni.)

    Also, yes anyone can get married whenever they want and where-ever. Buttt I think in this case where it's your sister possibly trying to 'spite' you just for the heck of it, I would be peeved.  Do you think showing her it doesn't bother you at all would make her less inclined to drive you up the wall?
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  • Well it's clear she just seems to be immature and trying to strike your nerves.  I guess I had assumed she was the typical sister you have known all your life, so I would see how it would be quite annoying from someone who is your "sister" but you spent a lifetime apart and she is trying to compete with you.

    I have a step brother who I find to be incredibly annoying, and I really don't care for the kid at all, so I would imagine it is a similar sort of feeling then since he sort of popped into my life out of nowhere but still wants to compete with me for my father.  And admittedly I get irrationally bitter about every little thing he does haha.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_sisterly-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:ce865fc6-1b9e-4947-baa4-7813eb9394bcPost:63d7fac0-276b-4197-9265-b147a9d8071f">Re: Sisterly drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]Things are calm now, she changed the date to the end of June. FI was pretty upset about the whole situation though.  @ ashlidie, I could care less if she has it on the 13th, 15th or any other day of any other month...<strong>but to choose June 14th when she knew we picked it was just plain rude</strong>. We aren't very close to begin with, it's a complicated story but basically I didn't even know she existed until we were both adults.  There is a level of competition coming from her which I never expected. I wish we could plan our weddings together, but sadly that won't ever happen. <strong>Too much has happened now to think we can have those bonding moments.</strong> When she stepped down from the bridal party, I realized our relationship meant nothing to her. 
    Posted by Klyn1983[/QUOTE]

    <div>First, breathe. Also, in a previous post you said your sister did NOT know your date so her and her FI picked a date. Whether she 'forgot' or legit forgot, she did eventually apologize and felt bad about it. You get one day, but that's not one recurring day every year, just one. My mom and one of her brothers share a wedding date (yrs apart), but still, nobody flipped out over it.</div><div>
    </div><div>From a personal note (in reference to the 2nd bolded part): I'm the oldest of 4 girls, there are LOADS of competitive bs and drama that have occurred between the 4 of us. There is one sister I'm not as close to, but we're mending fences. Please don't have this attitude that it's too late for these bonding moments, it's not too late for you to be on better terms w/ your sister (idk if this date situation is the tip of the iceburg or just a small glitch in your otherwise ok relationship) so please don't give up. It would be very sad, though, if you decide to not include your sister as you wanted to, over just this. Also, if you trully feel like you don't want to include your sister in the wedding planning, reframe it as a way to include other ppl who are important to you in your plans.</div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_sisterly-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:ce865fc6-1b9e-4947-baa4-7813eb9394bcPost:6f89fe0f-c6bc-40f6-8251-49f70c8dd8c0">Re: Sisterly drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]Uh oh, so here I go against the grain...  but the good news is it seems the issue has come and gone. <div><strong>I personally don't understand why someone can't get married before or after you, or on a certain day.  You don't really own anything, and no matter what they are going to be different.</strong>  I guarantee that if this would have festered a little bit, she would be the one realizing that she doesn't want to share her date either, and it would likely change anyway.  Competitiveness between siblings is natural, but one day you both will be able to look back on the time you both were engaged together, and it would be nice to remember doing things together instead of how you spent the time trying to one-up the other.  Honestly, I can't get Bride Wars out of my head lol.  Do your best to just let her TRY to one-up you, but take it with class and once she sees that it doesn't impact you, she will actually start planning with her FI (since it's clear she is making decisions without him right now lol). I wish I had a sister, or even a best girl friend I could share my excitement with (my best friends are guys) so do your best to not let those petty things bother you.  Even if her goal in life might be to drive you nuts lol...  But seriously, does it REALLY matter what day she gets married? Again, so sorry to play devil's advocate, but I am generally pretty nonchalant about these things.  If FI's bro gets engaged before our wedding (entirely possible, theyve been talking about it) I wouldn't care if theirs was the day before mine, I would have fun planning the both of them together.
    Posted by ashlidie[/QUOTE]</div><div>
    </div><div>Same.

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  • The reason I was upset is because it was my sister who has been very competitive with me since she has gotten engaged. The choice of the date wasn't coincidental, she knows exactly when my wedding is. The more I think about it, the more I realize that she gave me a bs excuse; she basically just lied to my face.

    I never once said that I owned the rights to that date, in fact I said that would be ridiculous of me to think that way. I just felt it was wrong of my sister to pick that date just to be a biitch. She purposely chose one year after my wedding just to be snarky and stir up some drama. 



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