WR: Dress before venue?

flygirlmeg · January 2012

Ladies, is it ok to buy/order my dress before we finalize our venue? Here's why I ask . . . we want to do Tahoe, as you all know. We spent much of this week talking to venues & caterers & those types in Tahoe and now have a meetings set up for our trip up there (we leave Feb 5th and really only have the 6th & 7th to make our venue decision since we both have to leave Tahoe the evening of the 7th for work). Mom & I did some dress shopping this week (pics to follow!) and I have a few in the running but no final decision. I would like to take FMIL & FSIL with me to do some try-ons before I make that final decision. So, let's just say I find the PERFECT dress that I love, love, love . . . should I order it when we don't have a venue nailed down yet? We know it'll be September and we're pretty sure it'll be Tahoe but since we haven't put any deposits out yes, does it make sense to wait until we have the venue & date nailed down? Or does it matter?

bethsmiles · January 2012

I have zero experience with this so take my advice with a grain of salt:

I think that the dress you love will be the dress you love no matter what venue you pick. So I don't see a problem with ordering the dress before you nail down a venue.

And I want dress pics NOW! lol.

DanieKA · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wr-dress-before-venue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:b56a25ff-dc56-48f9-abdf-198e26523233Post:225453ca-0da2-4a42-8c05-cd578b562e95">Re: WR: Dress before venue?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have zero experience with this so take my advice with a grain of salt: I think that the dress you love will be the dress you love no matter what venue you pick. So I don't see a problem with ordering the dress before you nail down a venue. And I want dress pics NOW! lol.
Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]

<div>This. I actually personally agree with Yaga about the dress matching the venue (no ballgowns at a beach wedding-Yeesh!), but when it comes down to it, if it's the dress you love, you shouldn't buy a different one just because it doesn't "match." I have seen a few of those big dresses out in nature (on photography and some wedding blogs), and some of them don't look so out of place. Then again, if you (not you personally) can afford to be traipsing around in an $8,000 Vera Wang out in the wilderness, the rest of your wedding, woods or not, probably matches. Haha!</div><div>
</div><div>Since you have the area in mind, and have probably seen venue photos online and know what kind of a wedding you want, I think you can go shopping without having nailed down a specific place. </div>

desertsun · January 2012

I tend to agree with Yaga.

I might have chosen a dress that was less flowy and more structured if I hadn't planned my wedding to be outdoors during the summer in AZ.

doubleSS07 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wr-dress-before-venue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:b56a25ff-dc56-48f9-abdf-198e26523233Post:225453ca-0da2-4a42-8c05-cd578b562e95">Re: WR: Dress before venue?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have zero experience with this so take my advice with a grain of salt: I think that the dress you love will be the dress you love no matter what venue you pick. So I don't see a problem with ordering the dress before you nail down a venue. And I want dress pics NOW! lol.
Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]

All of this! I've never bought a wedding dress but I think you seem to have a pretty good idea of the types of venues you are looking at and I bet you'll love your dress no matter where you finally choose to have the wedding!

desertsun · January 2012

Also, I just want to add -- Meg, you've jumped into wedding planning really fast. Make sure you're taking time to just enjoy being engaged, okay? There is no need to get everything planned NOW. Pace yourself. Take time out from planning to just relax and spend time with your honey. Be sure he knows you're just as excited about HIM as all the wedding trappings.

Wrkn925 · January 2012

What would it hurt to wait to order? I'm 90% sure I know what dress I want, but I'm securing my venue first and ordering in March. I'm also (probably) getting married in September.

I know consultants hate window shoppers, but mine is going to be pretty excited to get the commission even if it is two months late.

NurseyK · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wr-dress-before-venue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:b56a25ff-dc56-48f9-abdf-198e26523233Post:318cab43-97d5-4170-82e4-72217e76484f">Re: WR: Dress before venue?</a>:
[QUOTE]Also, I just want to add -- Meg, you've jumped into wedding planning really fast. Make sure you're taking time to just enjoy being engaged, okay? There is no need to get everything planned NOW. Pace yourself. Take time out from planning to just relax and spend time with your honey. Be sure he knows you're just as excited about HIM as all the wedding trappings.
Posted by desertsun[/QUOTE]

This.

And.... just know that that dress will always be out there, always available. Don't rush. You never know... if you change your mind about the venue, you might want to keep looking for your gown.

Example: we wanted to get married in Hawaii, and I had my dress picked out. But after we changed our minds about that, I had to start looking for "the right dress" all over again.

ravenray · January 2012

Um please tell me you are going to get together with me when you come to Tahoe!! I know I am throwing myself at you but I can't help it. I never get to meet girls from TK! I'll FB you my number

Anyways about the dress, I was more interested in the dress then the venue. Honestly I would have worn a ball gown to a beach wedding but that is just my style. If you want something that will match your venue then wait. But I got my dress before I had my venue.

flygirlmeg · January 2012

I guess that's my only concern - that we would go to Tahoe and not like any of our possible venues & then choose to go another direction entirely. Our friends in Kauai have offered their property to us and that's for that I would have to start looking at other dresses entirely. As much as I love Kauai I don't want to do that though because of the travel for my family on the east coast (they're already coming to CA) and we really want Hogan there and I'm just not comfortable putting him on a plane; he'd be terrified.
And you girls are right, the consultants at the dress shops really make me feel like I have to order now in order to have time for alterations, etc. Not in a pressure-y way really but when they lay out the timeline it looks so tight! I'm sure I can wait another few weeks and still be ok though.

And, @Desert & Nursery - yes, FI and I both have jumped in rather quickly. And I completely appreciate your points on slowing down to appreciate our engagement. Just this morning (before I read this

) I told him that I wanted him to know that it's not all about the wedding itself and that I don't want us to get overwhelmed, etc). He really appreciated that. I DO think we're both a bit concerned about nailing down a venue right away because it seems our possible dates are all fairly in demand. And, because of the ski shop, we have to do it before October if we want to do it this year - and we both do. I think it's really easy to get swept up in the excitement of omg-this-is-actually-happening. But you're both right, we don't need to go crazy with rushing. So um, thank you for the reality check!

And Beth, dress pics . . . soon!

HULU · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wr-dress-before-venue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:b56a25ff-dc56-48f9-abdf-198e26523233Post:d501349f-15c2-4027-b76c-a635265e5c75">Re: WR: Dress before venue?</a>:
[QUOTE]It's not a huge deal, but it's nice to have your dress go with the venue to an extent. You don't want a formal, huge ballgown in an outdoor, cabin in the woods venue, for example. Edited to take out a word that didn't belong. Thanks phone!
Posted by yaga13[/QUOTE]

<div>This, to an extent.</div><div>
</div><div>I had originally went into David's Bridal looking for something light and flowy due to the fact we're getting married outdoors in a vineyard. The dress I ended up going with, though, is very antique/vintage in the sense that it has a cathedral train with a LOT of lace and pearl-like beading. However, it still fits the "garden" type theme, just in more of a "fairy tale" way than a "casual frolic" sense.</div><div>
</div><div>If you found a gown you really love, ask yourself "Is there a circumstance under which I would NOT want to wear this dress?" If you'd be happy wearing the dress indoors, outdoors, grass, sand (if applicable), or whatever, there's nothing wrong with going for it. You're engaged now, it's no longer taboo! Do things in whatever order works best for you. :)</div>

motoLyn · January 2012

Which shop did you end up finding your dress at?

I think that 8 months and counting down is a good time to start dress shopping. I bought my dress in September for a June wedding. But then I already knew what the venue was going to be. I honestly think that you can wait till after your planning trip to Tahoe to order your dress. Its what just 2 more weeks.

BTW I WANT PICS!!!!

flygirlmeg · January 2012

So mom & I went to Mariposa & Ferndale's. I really liked that Mariposa let us take some pics . . . I need to post those! Anyway that's where we went first. Of course I ended up liking things totally different than what I thought I'd like. Then we went to Ferndale's and there was really only one I really liked on. THEN I went into two shops in Riverside and tried things on but I need to go back with mom. I'd also like FMIL and FSIL to be involved so we really need another day and that probably wouldn't happen until after our Tahoe trip anyway. Here's the thing though . . . I didn't hands-down LOVE any of them. I really, really liked a couple. But I wanted to put on a dress that made me all emotional and I just didn't get that. I think I've tried maybe 30 of them and it's all hazy in my head so maybe that's why I'm not getting that reaction? Anyway, off to gather the couple pics we were able to get and post those in a new post . . .

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