Brides maid dilemma

fleisinski · September 2010

I am having a hard time trying to figure out who my brides maid will be, I know I will have two close friends.

My fiance and his parents want me to have his sister in the wedding too. I would love to have her but is it wrong to have his sister and not my own?

I don't have a great relationship with my own sister, but is it horrible to pick his over my own????

laurenclaire1386 · September 2010

How would your sister react? Also, if your FI and his parents want his sister in the wedding so badly, she can stand on your FI's side. Pick the people closest to you, that you absolutely, beyond the shadow of a doubt, want to stand next to you at the wedding.

squirrly · September 2010

I'd say to put your FSIL on your FI's side as a groomswoman.

mayerel · September 2010

Can you have both sisters? so, 4 on your side?

sarabellam · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_brides-maid-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:56c761a8-260c-4369-87ab-b528613e0337Post:da42feab-73b5-4aa0-a4e9-517abcdb521a">Re: Brides maid dilemma</a>:
[QUOTE]Can you have both sisters? so, 4 on your side?
Posted by mayerel[/QUOTE]

Why should she have her own sister, with whom she doesn't have a good relationship? Simply by virtue of sharing DNA? Nope, that doesn't fly in my world.

arv266 · September 2010

Just have your close friends - no sister or FSIL. Picking your BMs shouldn't be out of obligation or guilt.

texagj · September 2010

I agree with arv266. If you don't want all four and don't want the drama of picking one instead of the other then just have the two best friends.

TTiger03 · September 2010

I vote for FSIL on FI's side.

My FI is having one of his oldest friends be a groomswoman. She is my friend too, but he's known her for 17+ years and I've only known her since I started dating him. It felt more "right" to have her on his side.

Unless you are super close to FSIL and really wanted her on your side, she would be perfectly suited to stand on his side even if it means having one more person on his side.

*I'm assuming that FI is very close to his sister and not that the parents are forcing you to have her as a WP member.

That being said, if you want her on your side, it is your wedding and you are welcome to have who you want in your WP as long as you are ready to face the consequences of family drama.

mayerel · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_brides-maid-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:56c761a8-260c-4369-87ab-b528613e0337Post:de9ae1e9-f3fc-479d-a3bb-4da70315d9f9">Re: Brides maid dilemma</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Brides maid dilemma : Why should she have her own sister, with whom she doesn't have a good relationship? Simply by virtue of sharing DNA? Nope, that doesn't fly in my world.
Posted by sarabellam[/QUOTE]

If she's feeling bad about having to pick, my point is don't pick, have both, or don't have either! And we don't know the nature of the relationship so this could be a bonding point. I'm certainly not advocating just picking someone because they have the same DNA, it was just an idea!

Brides maid dilemma

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