Bridesmaid dumping

gemmalouise85 · June 2010

I was 'dumped' as a bridesmaid once, by text message at that! Lol

I hadnt even done anything wrong (other than meet my FI!). Apparently I wasnt paying enough attention to her and the wedding (Here I will say LOL as she hadnt even started the planning properly yet, nor give me any details about dress shopping etc). Im guessing that she had assumed I would stop my life and somehow transform myself into a mini version of her until the wedding. when that didnt happen she turned into a total bridezilla.

BTW - That was the end of a long friendship. I didnt even go to the wedding as she got really nasty about it all.

I dont think you can really ever justify dumping your BM, let alone your MOH (obviously, if she was having an affair with yor H2B then you would be well within your right. But then thats another level all together!). If you do decide to go ahead, be prepared for hard feelings and possibly the end of your friendship. You have plenty of time before the wedding so just talk with her and let her know what you want from her. Once you have spoken she could shock you and say she doesnt want to be bridesmaid! There are so many different scenarios but for now you just need to talk to her.

Whippet8 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_bridesmaid-dumping?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:0f62fa21-6948-4544-9d3c-db5a692c57dfPost:912669db-6a07-44fa-add0-613cac1efbea">Re: Bridesmaid dumping</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaid dumping : I keep reading this in a pirate voice. Argh, matey!
Posted by ohwhynot[/QUOTE]

hahaha...I keep reading it in a leprechaun voice.

LD1970 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_bridesmaid-dumping?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:0f62fa21-6948-4544-9d3c-db5a692c57dfPost:8d994c33-00ee-425f-ac62-f1e4055c088e">Re: Bridesmaid dumping</a>:
[QUOTE]I did talk to her about, and she still didnt change. Thanx for the help but I will go with my gut
Posted by gaillamash[/QUOTE]
Well, happy friend loss to you!

LD1970 · June 2010

Everyone always says you can dump a BM if she sleeps with your FI. Honestly, at that point, dumping the BM is a moot point. At that point, there shouldn't be a wedding, and you can't have BMs if you don't have a wedding.

AmandalovesAl · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_bridesmaid-dumping?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:0f62fa21-6948-4544-9d3c-db5a692c57dfPost:0490ee36-922f-4644-acc9-c88ba48e9ee4">Re: Bridesmaid dumping</a>:
[QUOTE]Everyone always says you can dump a BM if she sleeps with your FI. Honestly, at that point, dumping the BM is a moot point. At that point, there shouldn't be a wedding, and you can't have BMs if you don't have a wedding.
Posted by LD1970[/QUOTE]

Very good point! Lol

reneaandscott · June 2010

The last thing you need is stress, some woman get jealous but I would say no hard feelings but change the attitude or your out...you dont need her as much as you might think...she needs to be there for you, not making things harder.

emarston1 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_bridesmaid-dumping?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:0f62fa21-6948-4544-9d3c-db5a692c57dfPost:1e89e1c8-e97f-46e6-987c-6c114e67f650">Re: Bridesmaid dumping</a>:
[QUOTE]The last thing you need is stress, some woman get jealous but I would say no hard feelings but change the attitude or your out...you dont need her as much as you might think...she needs to be there for you, not making things harder.
Posted by reneaandscott[/QUOTE]

Terrible advice. No one died, this is not a difficult time of her life in which she needs to lean on friends/family for support. She's getting married, it is a JOYOUS occasion. The only person that needs to "be there for her" in the planning process is her fiance.

trix1223 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_bridesmaid-dumping?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:0f62fa21-6948-4544-9d3c-db5a692c57dfPost:1e89e1c8-e97f-46e6-987c-6c114e67f650">Re: Bridesmaid dumping</a>:
[QUOTE]The last thing you need is stress, some woman get jealous but I would say no hard feelings but change the attitude or your out...you dont need her as much as you might think...she needs to be there for you, not making things harder.
Posted by reneaandscott[/QUOTE]

OP: Please ignore this advice. Please. Because it's silly.

rene: your wedding isn't something to be endured. If you need someone "there for you", turn to your FI. A WP's "duties" start and end with the ceremony. Nothing else. They are most certainly NOT counselors.

Also, rene: please don't get the idea that dumping a member of your WP is okay because you think that they're not "there for you". Print this out in large letters: NO ONE WILL CARE AS MUCH ABOUT MY WEDDING AS I DO. Then live it. Because it's true.

SheDiva4 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_bridesmaid-dumping?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:0f62fa21-6948-4544-9d3c-db5a692c57dfPost:1e89e1c8-e97f-46e6-987c-6c114e67f650">Re: Bridesmaid dumping</a>:
[QUOTE]The last thing you need is stress, some woman get jealous but I would say no hard feelings but change the attitude or your out...you dont need her as much as you might think...she needs to be there for you, not making things harder.
Posted by reneaandscott[/QUOTE]

I suspect you are an AE, just a hunch.

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