Gifts and sudden estrangement

truequeenofhearts · July 2010

A certain rather emotionally unstable aunt of mine has recently decided that she no longer wishes to attend my wedding or indeed ever speak to me again. The wedding is in October, but she already gave me a gift. I assume I am to return it to her?

salt78 · July 2010

Why would you? That's on her that she decided to estrange herself.

She might change her mind before October anyway.

danieliza1127 · July 2010

I don't think you're under any obligation to return the gift.

loop0406 · July 2010

I wouldn't, you're still getting married, only if a wedding is cancelled should presents be returned

Knittibell · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gifts-sudden-estrangement?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bc08ce6c-501b-48d3-ab46-56caffc7e8bfPost:096e04af-1ef2-49b8-830e-4dad062ea866">Re: Gifts and sudden estrangement</a>:
[QUOTE]Why would you? That's on her that she decided to estrange herself. She might change her mind before October anyway.
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]

Yes, I agree.Sorry, BTW.

PharmacyBride · July 2010

I would only think to return the gift if she fell into a financial hardship and can use the money or if you did something horrific to her.

Since I don't think either is the case for you.. you are in the right to keep the gift.

If you didn't send a thank you note yet.. but she doesn't want contact with you.. I don't know what the rules are. I really hope you already sent the TY just to avoid this issue.

nhelene · July 2010

I agree with PPs. Send her a thank you note if you haven't already, and if you don't hear from her before the wedding, send her another nice note afterwards. Leave the lines of communication open on your end.

baystateapple · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gifts-sudden-estrangement?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bc08ce6c-501b-48d3-ab46-56caffc7e8bfPost:145bec3e-6e9c-42e0-b369-5a8274d1b647">Re: Gifts and sudden estrangement</a>:
[QUOTE]I would only think to return the gift if she fell into a financial hardship and can use the money or if you did something horrific to her. Since I don't think either is the case for you.. you are in the right to keep the gift. If you didn't send a thank you note yet.. but she doesn't want contact with you.. I don't know what the rules are. I really hope you already sent the TY just to avoid this issue.
Posted by PharmacyBride[/QUOTE]

I dunno, I'd send the thank you note anyway. It's a thank you for a gift, it's not an attempt to bridge the gap. It's the polite thing to do.

cengle · July 2010

Keep the gift, and send a TY if you haven't already.

wadingmoose · July 2010

Send a thank you note, that's all that is required. You're still going to get married so the gift is still an appropriate gift.

truequeenofhearts · July 2010

Thank you guys! I really appreciate the advice! I already sent a thank you (the day I got the gift, since I'm a ridiculous go-getter like that). If she decides to still be estranged post wedding, maybe I'll take your advice and bridge the gap with a note. Really appreciate your help!

quotequeen · July 2010

If she says she wants the gift back, I would probably return it, but otherwise don't worry about it.

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