Snarky Brides

How do you deal with this? -multiple engagements, stealing your thunder

WOW! They are not kidding about snarky brides! I think only three people had reasonable advice for me and the rest wanted to say something nasty. Thanks to those who said something helpful.

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Re: How do you deal with this? -multiple engagements, stealing your thunder

  • What do you do? Be happy for them. Its not "stealing your thunder" if its a month before yours. You only get one day.
  • A month is a long time. I don't think there will be much stealing of anything, unless you're both having destination weddings and some people wouldn't be able to afford to go to both.

    But seriously. It's a month. I don't even remember last week.

  • You don't get any thunder. A wedding is about you and your FI making a lifelong commitment. The timing of other people's commitments have no bearing on the commitment you are making to each other. It is NOT about getting more attention. I think you have your priorities skewed. 
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  • You have THUNDER?  Awesome.
    Seriously, exactly what Stacey just said.
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  • Is his wedding in any way going to impact yours?  Liiiiikkkeee....will people have to choose one or the other because they have to travel a lot and will only be able to make the trip once? 

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  • I barely remembered my own wedding a month later. Your BIL's wedding won't overshadow yours. Get over it and be happy for them. And they won't steal your thunder, because you have none to begin with.
  • anna.oskaranna.oskar member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited October 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_deal-this-multiple-engagements-stealing-thunder?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:f9acb059-1767-4139-9f52-2582a76ad3e0Post:8e446c8a-19e9-4f15-9bb1-b1f3967e562d">How do you deal with this? -multiple engagements, stealing your thunder</a>:
    [QUOTE]Okay, when my big sister (my MOH) got engaged a month ago and I took it in stride. No worries. I thought, hey, are in no hurry to get married and are being low key about it because it is her second wedding. However, last week my fiance's big brother (his best man) got engaged as well. I am super happy for them of course but...his parents just changed to having a  JOINT instead of individual engagement party for us. I can deal with that. But now his brother is considering having his wedding a month before ours! What do I do?  What else are we going to have to share or get trumped on? How do you tell someone that they are stealing your thunder? Any ideas out there? Similar stories to help me out? <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.nolabride.blogspot.com/">http://www.nolabride.blogspot.com/</a>
    Posted by jenfordem[/QUOTE]

    As your name is neither Thor nor Zeus, I am pleased to inform you that you have no thunder to steal.

    I'm sorry you feel slighted and that other people are overshadowing your wedding day.  Surely you can console yourself with the thought that at the end of it all you will be married to the love of your life. No one can overshadow your Marriage unless you let them.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_deal-this-multiple-engagements-stealing-thunder?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:f9acb059-1767-4139-9f52-2582a76ad3e0Post:d9f18268-ca29-4049-8809-3dc618d7b8e3">Re: How do you deal with this? -multiple engagements, stealing your thunder</a>:
    [QUOTE]You have THUNDER?  Awesome.
    Posted by LesPaul[/QUOTE]


    Yeah that's pretty damn fascinating.

    Honestly I don't see the big deal.  The wedding is a month apart from yours?  Unless it's on the same day, I fail to see any problem here.

    Come back down to earth and get excited.  Lots of people you love are engaged.  That's a happy thing.
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  • I think your family and friends will be equally happy for both weddings.  It's not a race.  Even if they use the same DJ or have the wedding at the same time of day.  The weddings will be completely unique no matter how similar certain aspects will be, because in the end, you are celebrating two completely different couples' committment to one another.


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  • J&K10910J&K10910 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited October 2010
    I hate to be the dissenting voice, but I can see a potential problem.  Of course, it has nothing to do with thunder stealing.

    But if we were invited to two weddings a month apart that we'd have to travel extensively to, we'd probably pick one or the other.  Just saying.  So if they're going to have an overlapping guest list, which I assume they will, and lots of people will have to travel, it could be a problem for them. 

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  • It's normal to feel disappointed that so many other people are getting attention too. I understand that. My friend got engaged before me, but we set out date first, then they set their date, two months before ours. It was kind of like "Ugh, all the focus will be on their wedding" when I just wanted to worry about my wedding, but I was really happy for her at the same time.

    Don't say anything to anyone. Don't tell anyone they're stealing your thunder, because they aren't. Each of the couples will get one day. Just think of it this way- you'll get to go to a huge party multiple times in one year.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_deal-this-multiple-engagements-stealing-thunder?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f9acb059-1767-4139-9f52-2582a76ad3e0Post:1ca299ea-d2d7-4f37-bacd-d8580ed5134e">Re: How do you deal with this? -multiple engagements, stealing your thunder</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to How do you deal with this? -multiple engagements, stealing your thunder : <strong>As your name is neither Thor nor Zeus, I am pleased to inform you that you have no thunder to steal.</strong> I'm sorry you feel slighted and that other people are overshadowing your wedding day.  Surely you can console yourself with the thought that at the end of it all you will be married to the love of your life. No one can overshadow your Marriage unless you let them.
    Posted by anna.oskar[/QUOTE]

    I heart you Anna.
    Also, I just bought a really cute jacket and earrings from ideeli. Merry Christmas! :)
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_deal-this-multiple-engagements-stealing-thunder?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:f9acb059-1767-4139-9f52-2582a76ad3e0Post:1054c853-1aad-412e-962d-574125f47c26">Re: How do you deal with this? -multiple engagements, stealing your thunder</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think your family and friends will be equally happy for both weddings.  It's not a race.  Even if they use the same DJ or have the wedding at the same time of day.  The weddings will be completely unique no matter how similar certain aspects will be, because in the end, you are celebrating two completely different couples' committment to one another.
    Posted by heartxsongs[/QUOTE]


    I was going to say that!!!!

    YOU STOLE MY THUNDER! 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_deal-this-multiple-engagements-stealing-thunder?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f9acb059-1767-4139-9f52-2582a76ad3e0Post:978dc699-9c7c-40f3-a854-5e9ef9ecdaed">Re: How do you deal with this? -multiple engagements, stealing your thunder</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: How do you deal with this? -multiple engagements, stealing your thunder : I was going to say that!!!! YOU STOLE MY THUNDER! 
    Posted by LessThanZero[/QUOTE]

    Bahahahahaha.  *splits thunder in half*  Here, we can share.


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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_deal-this-multiple-engagements-stealing-thunder?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:f9acb059-1767-4139-9f52-2582a76ad3e0Post:cd82f6ae-6f17-49f5-9614-688a989885f6">Re: How do you deal with this? -multiple engagements, stealing your thunder</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: How do you deal with this? -multiple engagements, stealing your thunder : I heart you Anna. Also, I just bought a really cute jacket and earrings from ideeli. Merry Christmas! :)
    Posted by staceytaylor0704[/QUOTE]

    Heck yeah!
  • You walk right up to those a$$holes and you tell them to change their dates. Also get on Amazon and buy them "Thuder stealing for Dummies" so that they clearly understand what they are doing is really wrong.
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  • We are having a destination wedding in New Orleans. My fiance's brother will also be having a destination wedding - maybe in New Orleans, San Francisco, Seattle or even China. My sister's wedding will either be in Colorado or New Zealand.

  • Look at the big picture- in 10 years you can all celebrate your anniversaries together and look back at it like, "remember the year we all got married?".
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_deal-this-multiple-engagements-stealing-thunder?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f9acb059-1767-4139-9f52-2582a76ad3e0Post:f68b5f30-a711-41fe-b280-dd115945d18c">Re: How do you deal with this? -multiple engagements, stealing your thunder</a>:
    [QUOTE]What do you do? Be happy for them. Its not "stealing your thunder" if its a month before yours. You only get one day.
    Posted by staceytaylor0704[/QUOTE]

    This.
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  • edited October 2010
    Man, this summer I went to two weddings that were two weeks apart on two opposite sides of the country when I live halfway between them, all while I was orchestrating a cross-country move. I must be some kind of wizard.

    Sweetheart, you need to calm down. Your wedding day will be special because it is your wedding day, and your guests will find a way to make it work.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_deal-this-multiple-engagements-stealing-thunder?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f9acb059-1767-4139-9f52-2582a76ad3e0Post:741108a4-3504-4c55-91d1-97e245afcb04">Re: How do you deal with this? -multiple engagements, stealing your thunder</a>:
    [QUOTE]We are having a destination wedding in New Orleans. My fiance's brother will also be having a destination wedding - maybe in New Orleans, San Francisco, Seattle or even China. My sister's wedding will either be in Colorado or New Zealand.
    Posted by jenfordem[/QUOTE]

    Okay, I can understand being upset if some of your family isn't able to make it. I don't understand being upset because they're stealing your thunder.
  • When did you get engaged and when are you getting married?  I would assume that you didn't get engaged much sooner that FI's brother if his parents haven't had the engagement party yet and they were already planning on having one for you.  Besides, nothing says they even have to through you a party.

    As far as what should you do - nothing.  You don't get to dictate when someone gets engaged and when they get married.  Sorry, but you sound like a whiny brat.  Stealing your thunder?  Trumping you?  What'd they do, decide to arrive in a unicorn drawn carriage after you told them you were having a horse drawn one?
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_deal-this-multiple-engagements-stealing-thunder?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:f9acb059-1767-4139-9f52-2582a76ad3e0Post:741108a4-3504-4c55-91d1-97e245afcb04">Re: How do you deal with this? -multiple engagements, stealing your thunder</a>:
    [QUOTE]We are having a destination wedding in New Orleans. My fiance's brother will also be having a destination wedding - maybe in New Orleans, San Francisco, Seattle or even China. My sister's wedding will either be in Colorado or New Zealand.
    Posted by jenfordem[/QUOTE]

    It's okay.  People find a way if they want to.

    And if your sister chooses New Zealand, she will then be able to have the Thunder from Down Under.  Of course, it wasn't yours so it still wouldn't be thunder-stealing. It Is a bit scandalous for a wedding though.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_deal-this-multiple-engagements-stealing-thunder?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f9acb059-1767-4139-9f52-2582a76ad3e0Post:741108a4-3504-4c55-91d1-97e245afcb04">Re: How do you deal with this? -multiple engagements, stealing your thunder</a>:
    [QUOTE]We are having a destination wedding in New Orleans. My fiance's brother will also be having a destination wedding - maybe in New Orleans, San Francisco, Seattle or even China. My sister's wedding will either be in Colorado or New Zealand.
    Posted by jenfordem[/QUOTE]

    With this kind of wedding, I think that the guest lists will likely be very small and only made up of the most important friends and family.  And these will be the kind of people who will do what they can to be there for your day.  Unless you all share the same exact best friends who can't afford to take three expensive trips, you probably won't have to worry about people only going to one wedding.


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  • Thanks thats was actually a nice way to think about it...
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_deal-this-multiple-engagements-stealing-thunder?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:f9acb059-1767-4139-9f52-2582a76ad3e0Post:901a97d1-a4da-4f50-9e30-6c298ed7fe97">Re: How do you deal with this? -multiple engagements, stealing your thunder</a>:
    [QUOTE]Stealing your thunder?  Trumping you?  <strong>What'd they do, decide to arrive in a unicorn drawn carriage </strong>after you told them you were having a horse drawn one?
    Posted by suze423[/QUOTE]

    Do you know where to rent one of these?  I wnt one for my rainbow vowel renewal next year.
  •  I guess I am the only one with lightning because no one ever tries to steal that.
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  • Oh barf. Get over yourself. People are allowed to get engaged with out clearing it with you first. Contrary to your own belief, you are not the center of the fucking universe.

    This post makes me want to crash your wedding and throw up on your dress.
  • Looks like it's time for you to start requesting everyones monthly income so you can prorate them so they'll know how much money to set aside each month so they can attend!

    Seriously though, quit worrying about it. Who cares if Brother Bob and Sister Susie have weddings in the Amazon this week and then the North Pole next. Plan your wedding. Enjoy it. Don't make it more stressful than it already is. And on your wedding day, enjoy your guests that DO attend, and don't focus on who's not there.

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  • Anna, here it is!
    (Sorry for threadjacking and stealing your thunder, OP)

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