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Doing away with bridal party

USC2001USC2001
First Comment
in Wedding Woes
Is it rude to do away with your bridal party after you've already asked them to be in your wedding?  I have had issues with ordering the wrong bridesmaid dress color so I had my bridesmaids reorder a new one.  The new dress is very limited in quanity and some have reordered and some have not and now some sizes are sold out.  The dresses are on final sale and are unable to be returned.  There have been numerous comments/suggestions made about dresses, shoes, etc...by a few of them and it's hurtful, not to mention stressing me out!  What do you do when you feel like all you are is a bother to some of your bridesmaids?
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Re: Doing away with bridal party

  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    s it rude to do away with your bridal party after you've already asked them to be in your wedding? 
    yes.  incredibly so.  friendship-endingly-so.

    don't worry about dresses.  YOu select who stands up with you based on how important they are to you, not how they look in a particular dress.

    And as far as being a bother...if you have girls paying for 2 dresses, going in multiple times to do orders, etc...that is a bother.

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  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_doing-away-with-bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:fd4e7732-f777-44f8-9712-1c4ae9d78004Post:9800e549-7cfa-4631-87fb-4031100e7a3d">Doing away with bridal party</a>:
    [QUOTE]Is it rude to do away with your bridal party after you've already asked them to be in your wedding?  I have had issues with ordering the wrong bridesmaid dress color so I had my bridesmaids reorder a new one.  The new dress is very limited in quanity and some have reordered and some have not and now some sizes are sold out.  The dresses are on final sale and are unable to be returned.  There have been numerous comments/suggestions made about dresses, shoes, etc...by a few of them and it's hurtful, not to mention stressing me out!  What do you do when you feel like all you are is a bother to some of your bridesmaids?
    Posted by 584824250007194[/QUOTE]
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  • TheMrsC23TheMrsC23 member
    500 Comments
    I feel like there's more to the story. 

    Let me get this straight, your BM's ordered a dress.  It was the wrong color.   Who's fault was it?  Was it yours (you thought the color would be different)?  Was it theirs (they all ordered the wrong color, had bad information)?  Or the store's fault?

    They reorder dresses that are on final sale and hard to get in the right sizes?  Did the reorder cost more money?  Have they all ordered and received the new dresses are some still having issues?

    This is a headache and a half, really.  Ordering and reordering special occasion dresses sucks.  I can't say I wouldn't complain about it a little bit.

    This is no reason to 'fire' your entire bridal party.  If you do, I'd be prepared to a) pay all costs they incurred from your wedding (shoes, dresses, accessories) and b) be prepared to lose friendships over it.
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  • USC2001USC2001
    First Comment
    I chose a coral color from the Ann Taylor website because our wedding colors are coral and teal.  When the dresses arrived, they were bright pink.  The BMs were able to return the AT dresses for a full refund.  Since our wedding is only about 6 1/2 weeks away I chose another dress from JCrew in a coral color that was $75 cheaper.  Unfortunately it's on final sale.  I told them to order the size they think they need and if it doesn't fit and can't be altered, I would be happy to pay to order them a new one in the correct size.  3 out of 5 BMs have reordered but haven't received them yet.  I also offered to choose shoes for everyone and pay for them as well.  Doing away with my bridal party was not my suggestion..it was actually one of my BMs suggestions because she said it would cause less stress.

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_doing-away-with-bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:fd4e7732-f777-44f8-9712-1c4ae9d78004Post:2db6e6af-d2a4-43b1-be85-9589d6466528">Re: Doing away with bridal party</a>:
    [QUOTE]I feel like there's more to the story.  Let me get this straight, your BM's ordered a dress.  It was the wrong color.   Who's fault was it?  Was it yours (you thought the color would be different)?  Was it theirs (they all ordered the wrong color, had bad information)?  Or the store's fault? They reorder dresses that are on final sale and hard to get in the right sizes?  Did the reorder cost more money?  Have they all ordered and received the new dresses are some still having issues? This is a headache and a half, really.  Ordering and reordering special occasion dresses sucks.  I can't say I wouldn't complain about it a little bit. This is no reason to 'fire' your entire bridal party.  If you do, I'd be prepared to a) pay all costs they incurred from your wedding (shoes, dresses, accessories) and b) be prepared to lose friendships over it.
    Posted by TheMrsC23[/QUOTE]
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  • TheMrsC23TheMrsC23 member
    500 Comments
    At the end of the day, it really...really doesn't matter what your bridesmaids are wearing.  If the dresses don't come in, why not let them pick out their own dresses?   Is it really about a dress (and uniformity and looking pretty in pictures) or is it about the fact that these women are the closest women to you, they have supported you in life, you love them, and want to share your wedding day with them?
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  • baconsmombaconsmom member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Coral is bright pink, yo.

    Yes, that's my takeaway. 
    image
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  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    I see coral as more orange-y pink
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  • TheMrsC23TheMrsC23 member
    500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_doing-away-with-bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:fd4e7732-f777-44f8-9712-1c4ae9d78004Post:9fbfbb93-93f2-4184-831f-210661c34613">Re: Doing away with bridal party</a>:
    [QUOTE]I see coral as more orange-y pink
    Posted by GBCK[/QUOTE]

    Me too.  And if it's done wrong...it's *wrong*.
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  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    I'm not sure I've had enough caffeine to figure this out.  If the BM said it would be less stressful not to be in the wedding maybe she's trying to say she'd like out.
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  • ARAveryARAvery
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    First of all, I kind of think you've lost sight of what's important about the big day (which happens to the best of us, don't get me wrong!).  But you have to set your priorities straight.

    My suggestion to you with such a time limitation is to not lose the friends who will be with you through good times and bad.  My suggestion is to choose a neutral, easily-accessible dress colour (nude, champagne, chocolate, black, pewter, navy .. anything!) and totally spice up the accessories and flowers to bring in your awesome colour combo of teal and coral.  This will make satisfy your BMs for a couple of reasons:  a.) they can wear a neutral colour again, and b.) they will feel good that you gave a little and took their concerns into consideration.

    Honestly, this isn't that big of a deal.  They are dresses.  Even if your BMs are all in one colour but different dresses, they will look fabulous!  I promise.

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  • ARAveryARAvery
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    Haha, by "make satisfy" I meant just "satisfy".  :)  
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  • *Barbie**Barbie* member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    also, nobody looks good in coral. 
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  • USC2001USC2001
    First Comment
    Yikes!  Talk about feeling upset and more stressed than I already was by reading some of your comments.  Thank you to some of you for your helpful suggestions. I happen to think that the sweet papaya color will look great with the groomsmen's khaki suits and reception decorations with hints of light teal.  All 5 new dresses have been ordered and I got JCrew to agree they can be returned if they don't fit.  Hopefully that won't be an issue though! :)

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_doing-away-with-bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:fd4e7732-f777-44f8-9712-1c4ae9d78004Post:4fd75429-ae18-4f5a-b0c1-36a74e0d7164">Re: Doing away with bridal party</a>:
    [QUOTE]also, nobody looks good in coral. 
    Posted by *Barbie*[/QUOTE]
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  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    6, That was my first thought as well
    �
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  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    To "do away with" people generally means to kill them, doesn't it?  Because yeah, that is pretty rude.
    image
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  • USC2001USC2001
    First Comment
    Yes, that's exactly what I meant...I'm going to kill my bridal party.  You are ridiculous.


    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_doing-away-with-bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:fd4e7732-f777-44f8-9712-1c4ae9d78004Post:9fdd453b-7af9-4657-8c71-f64dfbd5ace7">Re: Doing away with bridal party</a>:
    [QUOTE]To "do away with" people generally means to kill them, doesn't it?  Because yeah, that is pretty rude.
    Posted by ReturnOfKuus[/QUOTE]
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  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_doing-away-with-bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:fd4e7732-f777-44f8-9712-1c4ae9d78004Post:6a60c60b-1896-4a92-b4af-1764e8f3874d">Re: Doing away with bridal party</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yes, that's exactly what I meant...I'm going to kill my bridal party.  You are ridiculous. In Response to Re: Doing away with bridal party :
    Posted by 584824250007194[/QUOTE]

    <div>And you may be taking some light-hearted humor to seriously.</div><div>
    </div>
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  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_doing-away-with-bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:fd4e7732-f777-44f8-9712-1c4ae9d78004Post:e4f06a46-3eca-4af9-91fc-6ed30e722c1d">Re: Doing away with bridal party</a>:
    [QUOTE]I know exactly how you feel! Two of my bridemaids hate everything I choose and voice their opinions regularly then end with "but that's just my opinion." 
    Posted by lauraholder23[/QUOTE]

    <div>So...you're complaining that they're voicing an opinion on the things you're choosing for them to wear?</div><div>Not that theyr'e refusing.  Not that they said 'no', just that they voiced their dislike and followed it up with "but it's just my opinion"--meaning they'll still go with the thing you chose that they think is ugly if that's what you say?</div>
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  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to Re:Doing away with bridal party:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Doing away with bridal party:I know exactly how you feel! Two of mynbsp;bridemaids hate everything I choose and voice their opinions regularly then end with "butnbsp;that's just my opinion."nbsp;Posted by lauraholder23So...you're complaining that they're voicing an opinion on the things you're choosing for them to wear?Not that theyr'e refusing. nbsp;Not that they said 'no', just that they voiced their dislike and followed it up with "but it's just my opinion"meaning they'll still go with the thing you chose that they think is ugly if that's what you say? Posted by GBCK[/QUOTE]

    GB, it's not enough for them to do as she asks, it's their duty to paste smiles on their faces at all times, too.
    �
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