guest list on a budget

1coco676 · February 2010

I have a lot of friends. I don't have a lot of money for my upcoming summer wedding. My fiance and I have cut down our guest list to 150 and that's all we can have w/out going over budget.
The problem is people who keep asking if they can come are definitely not on the guest list. Even if we had an extra $1,000 they wouldn't be on the guest list! My friend keeps asking me if her mom can come. (I've met this woman a record breaking 5x)
I've told her I have a small budget only those who both of us know can come, I told her our parents are paying for it so they want their friends to come so we had to cut down on "our" picks for guests. She's asked me over and over and over again. Finally today I told her her mom could come with her as her "plus 1". She wasn't very happy with that suggestion.
How can I get it across my friend that I will not EVER invite her mom w/out hurting her feelings? I'm feeling really fed up at this point.
Anyone else in a situation like this?

banana468 · February 2010

You need to learn that saying no doesn't make you the bad guy.

Friend: "Is my mom invited."

You: "Only if you want her to be your date. Other than that, sorry."

Stop entertaining it in discussion. Just say, "We've got a list and we can't move on it."

You're letting your friend's rudeness get to you. Just be nicely blunt with your "final answer." My guess is she keeps asking because you haven't closed the matter.

sawahleee · February 2010

I agree with banana in that you should just move on.

You have already told your friend it is what it is in a nice way. I'm sure you have enough on your plate at the moment. If she were to ask again, it would be understandable for you to reply in a blunt manner. I'm not encouraging you to go ape sh*t on her @ss but if you have already told her over and over and over again then obviously your nice manner isn't being effective enough in this situation.

Finally, do NOT feel bad when she finally gets the picture and she has hurt feelings. A true friend would be empathetic to your financial situation and NOT stressing you out by pestering.

GOOD LUCK!

suz62984 · February 2010

Suggest that she can either bring her mom as a date or pay for her mother's plate. Simply tell her that it is one of two things above-end of dicussion. You're not the bad guy. She'll get to invite whoever she wants to her wedding; then she'll realize how much things cost.

Liz4444 · February 2010

i agree with banana, saying no does not make you the bad guy.

these people are being incredibly rude. people should not ask if they can come, it's not a keg party, it's a wedding!

vegprincess · February 2010

Haha... I love it 'cause I've had a very similar situation. We also can only afford 150 and a friend from high school has asked TWICE now if he's going to be invited. (We still see each other occassionally but we're not the closest friends and never were.) Our wedding isn't for another year and a half, so things could change, but we had to make a tentative guest list to see what we could afford and where we could hold the reception. (You know the deal.) If you get great advice, please let me know. Both times I've responded that because of our budget and my fi's large family (not that mine is small either, just smaller than his), we're only inviting family and a few close friends. Even so, this polite answer that I'd think would make most people "back off" hasn't stopped him, so again, let me know if you receive any better advice!

guest list on a budget

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