in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar.....

Simply Fated · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_in-case-anyone-needs-one-more-reason-not-to-do-a-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4a1863df-0990-44ca-bc88-3311cd918d12Post:2a712faf-79bc-4bca-bf7f-bc58d41adde6">Re: in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar.....</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar..... : See I wouldn't have an event in the main dining room of a restaurant unless I could afford to host them complete. So there's that. A private dining room is different, because it's the party will more than likely they have a special setup.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]
oooh, this makes sense to me.

I don't remember whether or not the parties I've been to that were held in the main dining room were open bar or what. I don't think I was old enough to drink, therefore care lol.

One party, like I mentioned before, was sorta in a private space. There was a half wall and a short flight of stairs. You could still see down into the dining room, though. I'm not sure if that counts. :/

TheLordsCanary · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_in-case-anyone-needs-one-more-reason-not-to-do-a-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4a1863df-0990-44ca-bc88-3311cd918d12Post:f3677a7e-d97a-4ffd-9751-8131c6486ca8">Re: in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar.....</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm confused. Some people are saying to host what you can afford. Others are telling me that it doesn't matter, if the guests want something else, the host has to pay for it. I've always been in the No Cash bar/Host what you can afford camp, but this thread seems to be going in different directions.
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

I'm confused about this, too. I'm getting that if you offer just beer and wine that's fine, but also that if guests can't drink whatever they want it's rude?

TheLordsCanary · December 2012

Oops, didn't read far enough! Sorry!

SB1512 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_in-case-anyone-needs-one-more-reason-not-to-do-a-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4a1863df-0990-44ca-bc88-3311cd918d12Post:6be747ad-277a-4005-b429-6649823d67b6">Re: in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar.....</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar..... : That's fine. The difference with the OP is that apparently NOTHING to drink was hosted, and the type of venue and prominent bar and type of event made that seem like a poor choice. The crowd also seems to have favored drinking alcohol, since she said many people ordered drinks and then handed them back. I wouldn't host an event at an Italian restaurant if I was going to serve a limited menu of tacos and sushi. I wouldn't host a dry event at a restaurant featuring a prominent bar with a full cocktail menu. If I wanted a dry event, I would have it at a private house, a private venue, or in a restaurant that didn't serve alcohol. I'm going to a company function on Friday I know will not serve alcohol. This is fine, since 1) we have a private room in the restaurant and 2) it's a day time function.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

Just to clarify: wine was hosted, there were 2 bottles on each table, 1 red and 1 white. Soda/juice/water were also hosted, and coffee was provided with dessert. Beer and mixed drinks were not hosted.

loca4pook · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_in-case-anyone-needs-one-more-reason-not-to-do-a-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4a1863df-0990-44ca-bc88-3311cd918d12Post:cc79e7ca-da54-4942-a61d-2546451da3a3">Re: in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar.....</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar..... : I disagree. The place where the tables were set up was set off to the side and somewhat seperated by a half wall and a small flight of stairs. You did have to pass the bar to get to the tables, though. I think a few cousins had a drink before the bride showed up. I also went to a birthday party where the bar was at the entrance of the restaurant. The party itself was in another room. I dont' think it even occured to us to care or want a drink. Restaurants are a popular location to have a party. Bars are sometimes in restaurants. I encourage people to host what they can afford. While I don't think anyone should have a cash bar, sometimes a catering hall, where the bar/hard liquor/beer/etc can be hidden, isn't financially ideal.
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

I agree. Most restaurants I know have some type of bar in them but have some type of party room being separate. Does that mean you can never host a party there? I totally agree that if isn't in the room and is open to non-party attenders, there is nothing wrong with that. IF people choose to leave the room to get a drink that's on them, not me.

It was a baptism. I think it is perfectly acceptable for a host not to want an "open bar" for such an occasion. I think the reason for the occasion should also be considered into the factor, as well.

loca4pook · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_in-case-anyone-needs-one-more-reason-not-to-do-a-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4a1863df-0990-44ca-bc88-3311cd918d12Post:3611a70c-334b-4a3c-a7be-eb4591c75c8d">Re: in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar.....</a>:
[QUOTE]So my question remains. If the party, be it a baptism, bridal shower, or wedding reception is held at a restaurant that happens to have a bar, they need to make sure they offer everything the restaurant has available? I mean, when I go to parties at a restaurant, we're given a limited menu. It's not like they're telling me I can have chicken or fish, but if I want the beef I have to pay extra. They're telling me chicken or fish. I choose one of those two options. The same with the bar. I'm given a limited menu and I choose a beverage. From this thread I'm being told that all options must be made available to me at the bar, courtesy of the host, if there is a bar located in the restaurant. So would this also go for the restaurant's food?
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

I totally agree with this. We often have family occasions at a restaurant that has a private room, but there is a bar in the restaurant portion. I personally think it is acceptable to NOT include an open bar just because the restaurant has it up front. If people want to go get drinks, that's on them because it's not in the room where the party is hosted.

Because the restaurant is well-knwon in our our area, I am sure our guests know what choices of food they have, it doesn't mean we have to PROVIDE it, either.

jenferian · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_in-case-anyone-needs-one-more-reason-not-to-do-a-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4a1863df-0990-44ca-bc88-3311cd918d12Post:0009120d-9fa2-4204-b4a5-aff67af2914e">Re:in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar.....</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar.....: <strong>Am I the only one totally ok with no bar whatsoever at a wedding and can manage to get through those 5 hours without drinking?</strong> Is this a foreign idea now? I'm not sure why the option for alcohol NEEDS to be provided. If they want it they will drink it afterwards. If the hosts can afford it, great.
Posted by allychase[/QUOTE]

Oh, sure, we<em> can</em>. But its a PARTY. I don't know many parties that don't offer alcohol. Or maybe I just don't attend them. Who knows. ;)

jenferian · December 2012

Also: I attended the wedding of two alcoholics (recovered). They served top-shelf open bar for 6 hours and their wedding favors were heart-shaped bottle openers (everyone was very confused until the bride explained her mother ordered them in error--she thought they were heart-shaped keys).

in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar.....

Re: in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar.....

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