Inviting "List B" - What do you guys think?

klw0022 · March 2012

So we sent out all of our invitations and are getting back RSVPs already. People who are coming and those who aren't are the ones I figured would/wouldn't come. There are some people (our co-workers, a few, and some new running friends of mine) we want to invite, but want to stay within out budget for # of people/catering, seating, etc.

I figured to wait for more RSVPs to come in and if some people we don't expect to come don't decide to come, then invite from that 'B list'? Thoughts?

amandad18 · March 2012

I think it's kind of tacky, but I also think we're going to do the same thing ;p

cpm1223 · March 2012

I'm not a huge fan of b-lists because people can/will find out that they were an after thought.

I've been on a b-list and received about an invitation to a wedding long after I know the a-list invites went out. It was about a week before the wedding and it made me feel like these people just wanted our $, and not that they really wanted us there.

mancila60 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_inviting-list-b-what-do-you-guys-think?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:f7e21ebd-0f9e-4699-87c8-74c777246bfcPost:97d17697-cc06-4aaf-a847-5860ad60b381">Re: Inviting "List B" - What do you guys think?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not a huge fan of b-lists because people can/will find out that they were an after thought. I've been on a b-list and received about an invitation to a wedding long after I know the a-list invites went out. It was about a week before the wedding and it made me feel like these people just wanted our $, and not that they really wanted us there.
Posted by cpm1223[/QUOTE]

I agree with this. I guess it would be different if it was family you had to cut due to budget issues but if it's just friends I say if you can't invite them to begin with then don't do it at all. I also think it's a personal decision since you know these people better than we do. Would they be offended if they found out. Also when were you planning to send these out if it is here soon then it may not be a problem but if it's in a month or so then I wouldn't do it.

dori851 · March 2012

I wouldn't do a "B" list. I think they're pretty tacky.

S0095042 · March 2012

although I understand why you want to consider a B list...I too agree that the B list people inevitably find out...

gpapale1 · March 2012

I wouldn't do it.

fluttaby32 · March 2012

i agree on the tacky.. but im kind of doing it too. there are are few people that REALLY want to go to my wedding, like one of my brother's friends, etc. that wont be offended and would like to be invited if I get no's.. so I said I would.

klw0022 · March 2012

man you guys are harsh! lol

I just grew close to a group of friends who I run with and ended up sending invitations before I even had a chance to get their addresses, etc. (guess I should have included this) so the "B list" is only about 5 people big...

fluttaby32 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_inviting-list-b-what-do-you-guys-think?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:f7e21ebd-0f9e-4699-87c8-74c777246bfcPost:e8326aaa-da10-4d33-bad4-1fe58aabb535">Re: Inviting "List B" - What do you guys think?</a>:
[QUOTE]man you guys are harsh! lol I just grew close to a group of friends who I run with and ended up sending invitations before I even had a chance to get their addresses, etc. (guess I should have included this) so the "B list" is only about 5 people big...
Posted by klw0022[/QUOTE]

In that case I think its totally fine! They obviously understand why they weren't A-list since you only recently became close. So I think it would be a nice gesture. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />

mandi921vh · March 2012

I wouldn't do it.

FutureMrsSheeler · March 2012

If its only 5 people, why not just send them invitations now, since you already got some declines?

kimberlykh · March 2012

I think you'd be okay, especially if you just grew close to these friends and you're inviting them all at the same time. I'd rather get invited later than not at all. :-). Closer than six weeks and I'd say you're pushing it. Just my thoughts. :-)

leopardgurl831 · March 2012

We have considered doing this. I know its not the best thing etiquette wise, but If I were going to do it I would do it now. When we discussed A and B lists we we going to send out the second set like a week after the first. Truthfully I don't see a problem. FI still doesn't have all his addresses so I think we are going to have invites going out late just like a B list anyway lol.

Melissa51212 · March 2012

I was once invited b list and I was not offended at all. I really understand that you can't invite everyone. I think it's fine just don't wait too long. I wish we had a b list haha we hoping about 20 people say no due to budget. However before I'm bashed we do have money for all we invited just would like a little wiggle room.

klw0022 · March 2012

Yea it'd be within the next week actually, thanks for the input

sarnoon · March 2012

I think you just have to know the audience. If you think they won't be offended, I would go for it. I have a HUGE family and people know this about me. I obviously would love to invite everyone possible, but simply can't afford it. So, as I've been receiving rsvps from my family and see there are declinations, I have a ranked list of b-listers that I immediately send out invites for. I know my b-listers won't be offended because they know about my family size.

I would however, try to keep it within a week or two of doing your original invites.

littleshrink · March 2012

If it's only 5 people - invite them now. Why wait? If you grew close to them...invite them.
If nothing else....the five of you could get together after the wedding. Have a weekend getaway with the group....

LBug24 · March 2012

I know it's not the highest of etiquette, but whatever. We had B-List (of 3 couples that we do not see often/aren't super close but would love to have them there if the legal space allowed it..) We sent them out this week after getting back just enough RSVPs.

I've been a B-list invite and it doesn't bother me. I know how expensive weddings are and now I understand the plain "we cannot fit that many people in a venue" and I understand why they would invite their CLOSE friends first. I still went and had a great time, the B-List changed nothing for me.

If people are THAT offended by it, no one is forcing them to come.

Just my input

draggiefire · March 2012

I'm kind of doing a "B list" but this is mostly due to the fact that they're originally on the "A list" but still waiting on addresses for some of them. So instead of holding up sending out the invites because of those that are being unresponsive while trying to get their addresses, they'll just get their's later.

Egrauvog · March 2012

We are going to do a "B List", but they are people who really want to come to our wedding and who we also became closer to more recently.

FutureMrsW9 · March 2012

I think it's OK if you're still more than 8 weeks out. Once you get under the 8 week mark its very obvious that it a 'b list" invite.

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