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Am I unreasonable?

tooboogaloodootooboogaloodoo member
First Comment
in Wedding Woes
My Hubby to be's mum dropped a bombshell -  She has complained my guest list is ridiculous, and she will feel like a stranger at her own sons wedding (he has pretty much no family so the guest list is 40 mine 25 his, and I have omitted half of my family, to cut costs which has upset me to start with) 
She has said I have too many bridesmaids, and I should cut them down (I have 4 adults, and 3 flower girls)
She has also demanded to know why I am inviting children (I have a 6 year old daughter and 2 young nieces who are supposed to be flower girls) 
I also feel like I am being bullied into a venue, which is very nice, but is also very expensive, and there are 6 or 7 other places which I will be looking at which are just as nice, but slightly cheaper...  
I have gotten myself in a tis over this and have become quite tearful.  Am i being unreasonable? But please note that my Dad died 4 years ago, and I have not been in touch with some of his side since, which is why my guest list is depleted....
But I must add that my partner seems to think she may help out with the finances.... but should I put up with this, even though nothing has been discussed formally money - wise?
Some good wholesome advice would be appreciated!  x
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Re: Am I unreasonable?

  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    I don't think you are unreasonable.  I do wonder about a man that would trade your happiness for the chance of money.
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  • MizBiscuitMizBiscuit member
    100 Comments
    Tell FMIL thanks for the advice and than plan the wedding you and your FI want. Nothing sounds unreasonable except your FI choosing possible money over you (or at least thats how it sounds in your post).
    "Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one." ~C.S. Lewis
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  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    Your FMIL is free to plan the wedding she wants when she gets married.  Tell her so.
    image
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  • christinaroisinchristinaroisin
    First Comment
    No, you're not being unreasonable. It's your wedding, not hers. My guest list is significantly larger than my fiance's, and we're both okay with that. Politely tell her where she can take her opinions, and then plan the wedding YOU want. Good luck!
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  • DG1DG1 member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper

    Agreed with telling her where she can take her opinions, but do know that her money goes with it. 

    Plan the wedding you want AND CAN AFFORD on your own. 

    I can't imagine your FMIL actually asking you to exclude your own 6yo daughter from the wedding. THAT is insane.

    image
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  • tooboogaloodootooboogaloodoo member
    First Comment
    Thanks guys, you're all amazing, and your reassurance has now given me hope again! (which has made me get all excited again)

    I do love it how people can whole-heartedly give good sound honest advice to a perfect stranger, it does give you hope that human kindness isnt lost!

    However, I did think for a minute here, im having a bridezilla moment!

    But I think I shall politely state that I will not back down, and if she doesn't like the decisions we make, she can quietly have her own party elsewhere (or similar)

    Oh and I will wear wacky shoes if i want to... Its my party etc etc Laughing

    xx
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