Brides who serve?

knapkinator · January 2013

Everytime I see "military brides" its alway the future husband who is serving. However, Im the opposite. I am serving in the United States Army while my fiance is a civilian. I was just wondering, are there any others out there?

kyrgyzstan · January 2013

There have been a few on this board. There are a few more mil mil couples, and I'm an O applicant for the Army while H is AD Marines.

AKGopher · January 2013

Me! Im a lieutenant in the AF and my fiancé is a civilian - I've been struggling whether to do the Arch of Swords after the ceremony. My parents had it at their wedding but my Dad was in his full uniform, and obviously I'll be wearing white. Any tips?? Are you considering incorporating your service into the ceremony at all?

knapkinator · February 2013

Yeah Ive thought about it, but being enlisted I cant do the beautiful sword arch like an officer, and I just cant seem to think of anything else that I could incorporate into it. Any product out there for that like wedding toppers or whatever are always directed towards the man being in the military and not the woman. i might wear an army garter though, just as a subtle reminder of the soldier I am when Im not in a fancy dress

AKGopher · February 2013

That would be awesome - I've also heard of women sewing their dog tags on the inside of their dress, keeping them close to your heart!

knapkinator · February 2013

Oh I like that idea!

JulieJ41687 · February 2013

We are out there! My fiance and I are actually dual military, we are both active duty Army. It does pose certain difficulties. When we talk to vendors about military clauses in contracts they look at me like I'm crazy while I try to explain that I'm in the military too...My sister ordered me an ACU print garter off etsy, and with a bit of searching you can actually find people who will make cake toppers where the bride is in an uniform.

ElaRenee89 · February 2013

Newbie here!

We are dual military. We both so happened to be station on the same base until 2015. We also are both lucky to be in non deployable status. After his tour they offered him instructing so it works out. Im SGT in Army and hes SGT Marines. Lol we are E-10.

rsherman13 · March 2013

I'm active duty 1LT Army. My fiance is a civillian. Biggest concern right now
is the budget cuts affecting the wedding, may not be able to take leave for
the honeymoon because our civillians are getting furloughed.

ChocoOne · March 2013

You're not alone!!! I'm serving in the Air Force and my fiance used to be in the Army years ago. I'm stationed overseas and currently deployed at the moment. I return from my deployment in a couple of months and then I will be heading off to my new duty location in Germany and the wedding is in October...smh! Between being deployed and working 14+ hours 6 days week, going to school, gym and planning a wedding...I'm about to lose my mindoh my goodness, this is tough!!!

ameraznhuney · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_brides-who-serve?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:3a5d6755-dbd9-480e-aaf5-c120ab8c5b3bPost:7dcd3e5b-bac9-4395-8bbe-f1a91567afe0">Re: Brides who serve?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm active duty 1LT Army. My fiance is a civillian. Biggest concern right now is the budget cuts affecting the wedding, may not be able to take leave for the honeymoon because our civillians are getting furloughed.
Posted by rsherman13[/QUOTE]

I'm in the exact same situation as you. We're not planning on taking a honeymoon until the summer after our wedding (this December); that way we have the honeymoon we want without having to try and beg, borrow, and steal for leave dates (it was hard enough to get a week off for my wedding, and even that's not certain). It's not ideal, but it is better than nothing.

I think the hardest part about my being active and he being a civilian is that he's had to adjust some of his life plans. It's a lot easier for a woman to stay home and be a homemaker (my mother did it) than it is for a man..yes due to the natural sexual stigma associated with gender roles. Communication and compromise are the biggest keys here, as in any relationship, but I think most especially in a relationship with a third party i.e. Uncle Sam.

toremiles · March 2013

My Fiance' and I are dual military and I'm deployed and he's leaving as soon as I return =(

Purple Gayle · May 2013

Hi, I am an Army soldier and my Fiance' is a contractor (civilian) who works with the Army and we just so happen to be together in Afghanistan. I am so new to all of this and i know it's going to be difficult because i'm stationed at Ft. Campbell KY and he lives in Vegas but is from Louisiana, however I have family in Vegas and I am born and raised in CA. SO as u can see ppl are all over and I just found this page & feeling a little overwhelmed. The ideal date is April 23rd 2014 my birthday. ; p

navygirl440 · May 2013

dmiller86 · June 2013

We are dual mil and I deployed last year, he'll go at the end of this year.

Can I finally voice that I HATE that the mil gets to influence our planning? I want to pick a date because of the weather, time of year, sunset, temperature, avaliability, etc...not scheduling around CST training and RDD dates. Ok, end of vent. I should be use to this by now, right?

Jack2012 · June 2013

I'm also the only one serving in our family. You're definitely not alone!

ICantSignIn · June 2013

Jack2012 said:

I'm also the only one serving in our family. You're definitely not alone!

Hi Erin, you should remove your pinterest thing from your siggy, as your pinterest has your full name and is connected to your FB. Lots of crazies on TK!

NavyNuke · July 2013

Dual mil here.

[Deleted User] · September 2013

Dual military!

JLynG09 · September 2013

Hi! Lovely to meet you, I'm serving in the Air Force and am engaged to a Sailor. Have any tips in dealing with separation, planning a wedding while separated with limited contact? He's deployed right now so we can't talk much at all. Looking into getting a double proxy marriage first so we can submit a joint spouse assignment application in plenty of time before I PCS. I'm so glad I'm not the only one because it certainly feels like it.

RosePetal2014 · September 2013

Dual! We are both West Point cadets right now and will graduate in May and be married right afterword. We are doing the sword arch and he and our other friends will be in uniform. I will be wearing an ACU print garter. The only issues I have is none of our parents are or were military and so won't be in uniform. Anyone else in this boat? And we don't know yet if we are going to be able to post together. Best of luck to everyone!

redneckjuliet · October 2013

I am in the same situation! I am an active duty Staff Sergeant in the Army and my FI is a civilian. I love the dog tag idea and never thought about it before! Vendors are always shocked when I tell them its me and not the FI that's serving.

@jlyng09 you could try sending a weekly update in the wedding planning via email or snail mail and get his input. The mail system is pretty good in these days with turn around. Nowhere near the crazy 1 month one way wait it use to be. Take lots of pictures and send them to him if he wants to be involved. I had a friend who got married via proxy and they had a wedding once they returned from deployment.

blackbutterflyxo · November 2013

I'm the one serving in the military but my FI is a veteran. If he could fit in his class As (I love him but he has put on a little weight since he was serving 4 years ago) I would have him wear it. I didn't think about incorporating something into the wedding but I do love the dog tag idea.

kgd7357 · November 2013

I'm serving in the Navy. My FI is a civilian. We are living about 3 hours apart for the first year of our marriage, since I'm taking a 3 year duty in Pearl Harbor after the year and changing jobs twice would be too hard for him, and not a wise career move. He works 7 days on 7 days off though, so at least its more like long business trips. We are getting married at the Army/Navy Country Club near DC to bring in the military flavor. I'm bringing anchors into a lot of the decor since the have special meaning to me (Navy/Delta Gamma).

frost2fa · January 2014

I'm a reservist (formally Acive Navy) and my fiance is active navy. We will be lucky enough that he doesnt transfer to sea duty until after the wedding and we are staying where he is currently stationed. I have more of an interest in designing a wedding that is military themed and thats what im having a hard time with. Everything i keep finding is nautical, and its not the same. there is an amazing Etsy lady who does cake toppers but all hers are white brides and uniformed grooms. Best of luck!

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