Pre-wedding Parties

Shower Drama

My FI's father is re-married & there is tension between his father's wife (of a 3 years) & his mom because the wife is talks & acts like he is her son.  His mom gets very jealous.  My mom & sister live out of state.  It is very early (we are getting married in June 2013) but his father's wife asked to host a shower for me (via PINTEREST to show her style).  It has now been decided (I think) that his two sisters will act as the hosts & will give out duties to all people.  However, they wanted to have the shower at his father's associate clubhouse.  My FI thinks this will be upsetting to his mother & really doesn't want us to have anything to do with our wedding at that location.  He is going to help me delivery this message to his sister (again, I think).  So now do should I give suggestions on where to have it?  To also add to this drama, my sister & mom want to assist as they don't want to be the people that just show up.  I don't know who to give their contact information too.  UGH!!!! I really wanted this to be a simple affair (wedding & all).  I hope this is not a sign of what is to come.  Any suggestions on how to deal with in-law tension???

Re: Shower Drama

  • Two showers? One hosted by his mom and one hosted by the step mom, with different guest lists.  His sisters can attend both.  Either they cannot host or one can join the mom in hosting and one can join the step mom in hosting.  
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    If your mom and sister have offered to help out with a shower for you, give their contact information to Fi's sisters, mother and dad. Let Fi settle any differences between his parents. The bride shouldn't be involved in planning her own shower, so you are excused from this controversy : )

  • I agree with the two showers, but it can't be up to you since you are not the host... your finance should step in and talk to his mom sooner than later that he understands the situation but that its uncomfortable to him to be put in the middle.   There is no harm for her planning a party too so hopefully he can lead her in that direction rather than worrying about what wife #2 wants to do, if she wants to be involved she can throw a party too.  You can always decline the step mothers party, but that would be hard to do since its a thoughtful contribution.  Would the guest list be the same for both parties?  If so, having two would be tough, but if a different group are involved in each there is no harm in participating in both parties.  The new wife is a part of the family now, and therefore will be a part of the wedding, so hopefully your finaces mom will be able to put her insecurities aside for your wedding and not make it an issue. 

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