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Kids question

llemiwinks32llemiwinks32
10 Comments
in Second Weddings

I am not sure how to handle this but it bothers me. 

This is my FI's second wedding and my first, we both are in our 30's and he has 2 kids-ages 6 & 4 from his first marriage.  We plan to add more kids to our family and lately I have been asked from a lot of people- Do you want to have more kids and the answer I give them is "yes, we are hoping to add to our family" and the response I get most of the time is "OH".

He went through a nasty divorce and my family and friends are excited about the wedding and adding to the family.  His family is happy he is happy with me and now they are more excited about the wedding but I get the "OH" from his family and lot of older adults both coworkers and family friends.

It bothers me but I don't know what to say to them and how to take it.

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Re: Kids question

  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I would just smile after they reply "OH" and say "we're very excited to get started after the wedding on blending our families together and adding to it!" It'[s really noone's business and it's something only you and your FI can decide. I get that "OH" response at times when people ask me if I'm having kids and I say no! They can't believe that I could possibly want to be childless! It's only our decision to make since noone else can live my life for me :)

     







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  • blush64blush64 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I know what you mean!! I have kids from my first marriage, my fiance has none. (never married)

    My kids are older (I had them quite young) and when anyone asks I tell them we are excited to add to our family. They usually respnd by saying "oh" or "why?" or "why start over?" or "well, I guess he would want one of his own"--which I hate!

    I ignore it, I restate that we are excited to have kids and move on. 
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  • right1thistimeright1thistime member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    You could answer, "By 'Oh', I am sure you mean oh how exciting to have the opportunity to raise a big loving family.  At least that's how we look at it."  That will close their wide open mouth, and help them take their fat foot out of it.  Then beam a lovely smile at them and change the subject. ~Donna
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  • Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011

    LMAO RetreadBride and right1thistime!


    I guess I'm more "less is more". I'd probably say something like "that's something we haven't decided, but we'd be happy either way".

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  • JostMarriedJostMarried
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Don't you just wonder about people? I mean really.

    As much as I would want to do a Shirley McClain "Wheezer" in Steel Magnolias, I'd probably just smile and then silently go off on them!
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  • WildMageletWildMagelet member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I understand the "Oh".  Someone asked FMIL a few years ago about grandchildren and she said "Oh, I'm done." and I was thinking WTF?  How exactly do you think it's your decision?
    Formerly known as flutterbride2b
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  • lindaloulubbocklindaloulubbock
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'd just glare.

    I wish you lots of luck going forward. :) 
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  • sunshine9779sunshine9779 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Change the ages of FI's kids to 13, 14, and 15 and your story could be mine. Why WOULDN'T I want to have another child?! And thanks for the out loud snort of laughter, Retread!
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