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I need a tissue.... for my issue.

tuarceathatuarceatha member
Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
in Not Engaged Yet
Does anyone else have best friends that dislike each other? I have several 'close' friends from various parts of my life that have had a couple meetings and clashed like whoa.

No biggie usually because they all live in different parts of my world, but with the wedding planning, and them all being bridesmaids, I'm reminded that they clashed in the past.

Any advice on how to get over it? I'm 90% sure, it is my fault they didn't get along in the past. And we are all adults, so I really shouldn't worry about it, but I feel responsible for their clashing. As one of them reminded me a couple days ago on the phone, "You were the one who told her we were soooo different." Basically, I talked about the other gal to another and then when they met they already had the idea in their head that they wouldn't like the other. Oops! On the other hand, why did this 28 year old friend feel the need to point that out 8 years later?

Thoughts?
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Re: I need a tissue.... for my issue.

  • kellyt89kellyt89 member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments
    If they met and clashed 8 years ago maybe things will be different this time around? I'm sure some if not all of them have changed in 8 years.
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  • jaycee7389jaycee7389
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    I do, and they have to be bridesmaids together. They don't hate each other, but they definitely are not fond of each other. If they are good friends they will put aside their differences for your sake. Unless something major happened between them? Why did they clash so badly?
    5/27/12
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  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    What do you mean by "get over it"? I think you just have to accept that they don't like each other. If they are mature adults they it won't matter if they aren't fond of each other they will act like adults and be civil together.

    I wouldn't worry about it unless it becomes an issue.


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  • kaitlynmichellekaitlynmichelle member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    I had two friends like that, they couldn't stand to be around each other and basically fought over who I should hang out with.  It drove me nuts.  They eventually got over it and were at least civil to one another.  I sat down with them and told them how frustrating it was that I was constantly in the middle of their arguments.

    Eventually I did grow apart from the one girl though.  I miss her.   :(
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  • tuarceathatuarceatha member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_need-tissue-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:5049dd19-50e3-4720-a5c0-1fb44ae4d3f9Post:6d3c423a-1fa4-47f9-bb07-0b239ef790d2">Re: I need a tissue.... for my issue.</a>:
    [QUOTE]If they met and clashed 8 years ago maybe things will be different this time around? I'm sure some if not all of them have changed in 8 years.
    Posted by kellyt89[/QUOTE]

    I would've thought the same thing, but that one friend made that comment...

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_need-tissue-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:5049dd19-50e3-4720-a5c0-1fb44ae4d3f9Post:5006f83f-d3f6-4708-b991-0dadb85aafd5">Re: I need a tissue.... for my issue.</a>:
    [QUOTE]I do, and they have to be bridesmaids together. They don't hate each other, but they definitely are not fond of each other. If they are good friends they will put aside their differences for your sake. Unless something major happened between them? Why did they clash so badly?
    Posted by jaycee7389[/QUOTE]

    Yea these gals aren't fond of each other either. Nothing major happened, it was something like one came to visit me at college, while I was rooming with the other and they had some awkward exchanges i.e. "She didn't acknowledge me when I said hello." kind of things. I really don't remember what it was, just that I felt uncomfortable hosting one friend with the other right there.

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_need-tissue-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:5049dd19-50e3-4720-a5c0-1fb44ae4d3f9Post:393f7b5e-b24b-489f-a882-040eb42b775f">Re: I need a tissue.... for my issue.</a>:
    [QUOTE]I had two friends like that, they couldn't stand to be around each other and basically fought over who I should hang out with.  It drove me nuts.  They eventually got over it and were at least civil to one another.  I sat down with them and told them how frustrating it was that I was constantly in the middle of their arguments. Eventually I did grow apart from the one girl though.  I miss her.   :(
    Posted by kaitlynmichelle[/QUOTE]

    Awww. Yea see we have faded in and out of friendship over the years as the one friend has traveled around, but whenever she has been local we make plans to get together and keep in touch.

    I think it has to do with the fact that I over thought them meeting, then talked it up to each of them. I made them uncomfortable.
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  • Blue & WhiteBlue & White member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    I had friends that hated each other so badly in middle school that we ended up in the guidance counselor to "talk it out" (I really don't know why because they weren't even in the same classes, but whatever).

    I was NOT happy.  I'm also not good friends with either of them anymore.

    I would also let my adult friends be.  As long as they're not beating eachother up in public, I think you're okay.  I mean, it's awkward, but they really just need to accept that you're friends with both of them.  They don't HAVE to be friends too, ya know?
    I guess, to tell you the truth, I've never had much of a desire to grow facial hair. I think I've managed to play quarterback just fine without a mustache. - Peyton
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  • caitlin.cavecaitlin.cave member
    100 Comments
    If they're good friends, they'll out their differences aside in favor of being there for you on your wedding day.  It's not like you're asking them to be bestest friends for the whole engagement as all of you go out for mani-pedis and bare your souls to each other.  You're asking them to stand next to you for an hour.  After that, they don't even have to talk ever.
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  • lennonkdclennonkdc member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
     If it were me, I  would just kinda ignore the fact that they clashed in the past, since it seemed like it was quite a while ago. If years have pasted, then I would just let them allow by gones to be by gones. They don't have to end up best friends, they just need to be able to hang out on your wedding day, which any adult should be able to do. 



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  • tuarceathatuarceatha member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    Yeaaaa. See I'm over thinking it. Which is what went wrong in the beginning.

    Thanks ladies!
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  • lunarsongbirdlunarsongbird member
    2500 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Get them together with a bottle of wine each....and everything should be golden! ;)
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  • tuarceathatuarceatha member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_need-tissue-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:5049dd19-50e3-4720-a5c0-1fb44ae4d3f9Post:862b9314-f6c3-4bbe-93fb-f1aea3f31042">Re: I need a tissue.... for my issue.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Get them together with a bottle of wine each....and everything should be golden! ;)
    Posted by lunarsongbird[/QUOTE]


    Yessss that is genius!
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  • NurseyKNurseyK
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    Yes, my bestie and my sister aren't fond of each other. I basically told them both to grow the f up and figure it out because I'm sick of being in the middle of their issues with each other.  Why are some girls so freaking annoying.
    www.nurseyk.weebly.com
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  • tuarceathatuarceatha member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_need-tissue-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:5049dd19-50e3-4720-a5c0-1fb44ae4d3f9Post:9b09d43d-c77b-4995-8242-4af7b9ef5cf4">Re: I need a tissue.... for my issue.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yes, my bestie and my sister aren't fond of each other. I basically told them both to grow the f up and figure it out because I'm sick of being in the middle of their issues with each other.  <strong>Why are some girls so freaking annoying.</strong>
    Posted by NurseyK[/QUOTE]
    THIS!!! haha I think I pick territorial besties.
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