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good way to honor loved ones at wedding?

leia1979leia1979 member
2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
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Hi ladies,

I was originally planning to steal Oceana's lovely idea of a vase of flowers with a band that lists the names of deceased loved ones. (See her bio for the photo.) I had an alternate idea of a vase of white roses surrounded by placecards with each person's name and relationship.

FI would like to also include our two living grandparents who are unfortunately not well enough to travel for our wedding. I like this idea but don't know how to implement this. Is it weird to mix the family members who are not well enough to attend with those who have passed away?

I'm open to any ideas you may have.


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Re: good way to honor loved ones at wedding?

  • orangehillsorangehills
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Umm.. I don't like the idea of adding the sick ones to the ones who have passed.. it sounds like you listing them before their time! Maybe find a different way to honor them?
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  • motoLynmotoLyn member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    How about white roses for those who have passed and two roses of another color for those who are living and then you can place a card explaining what the colors represent.  That way people can understand the difference. How about white and yellow?

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  • jorja86jorja86 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I like the idea of the flowers of different colors. Also, in my cousin's wedding last year, the pastor mentioned something about "those who are no longer with us especially Mary and Bob Jones, grandparents of the bride, and those who cannot be here today due to circumstances beyond their control, especially the groom cousin Ryan Smith, who is serving in Iraq". You could do something like that if you wanted to mention their names.
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  • NurseyKNurseyK
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I like the idea of a vase with roses for those who are deceased... but I'd do something different for your grandparents.
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  • leia1979leia1979 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Jorja, I really like that idea. FI's brother is our officiant, so we can ask him to say whatever we'd like. I was also thinking of listing our grandparents in the program the same way I would if they could attend.

    I also like Lyn's two colors of roses idea. I can probably pilfer some pretty colored ones from my mom's garden, since I only need two.

    Or, taking a cue from Liv's idea, maybe a second smaller vase with the two colored roses to keep them separate.

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  • Blue & WhiteBlue & White member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I've only seen people mentioned in a "We honor those that are unable to be with us today" kinda text (I'm sure actual engaged people have a better version of this for you) in programs.

    I like the idea of memory candles as well, but I wouldn't include your sick grandparents in that, as it's a bit morbid like you're giving up on them.

    I also might get your grandparents a simple framed portrait of you two after the fact too, so they have a little thing from your wedding even though they couldn't attend. 
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  • tdwpg1984tdwpg1984 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_good-way-honor-loved-ones-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:0bc6653f-a4d0-4670-b12f-2dfa8cc29876Post:204cdc54-3f2b-4eb0-be75-0681eaad3558">Re: good way to honor loved ones at wedding?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I like Lyn's idea. I do feel like honoring them all in the same way is sort of morbid for those who are living. Could you maybe do the vase thing for the deceased relatives, and place a colored flower with a ribbon with the grandparents unable to attend on "saved" seats for them? I don't know if that would be weird either.
    Posted by LivLeighton[/QUOTE]
    I like this idea, if there's enough seats at the ceremony venue!!!
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  • oceana919oceana919
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    We had the vase for our deceased loved ones, and their names were in the back of our programs. We had our DJ play Jamey Johnson's "In Color" and state that it was in honor of my grandfather and DH's grandmother, who were unable to attend that day.

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  • Hazel_BHazel_B member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Weddings I've been at had a candle lit for those that had passed away.

    Personally, I like the idea of verbally distinguishing why people aren't there. If you have that then I think you can do basically anything you want.
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