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Parents paying for wedding AND giving gifts?

golden1215golden1215 member
First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
So wedding gifts are starting so roll in and FI mentioned last night that he hopes one of our sets of parents (both sets divorced) gets us the pretty expensive digital photo frame on our registry.  3 of the 4 sets of parents are helping in some way (some with a few grand, some a few hundred) but only my dad isnt contributing (totally fine with this!).  Anyway, I guess I was expecting that the money the parents are giving IS the wedding gift. 

Just wondering what other people got/are expecting?
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Re: Parents paying for wedding AND giving gifts?

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    danieliza1127danieliza1127 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    Our parents helped pay for parts of the wedding and still give us wedding gifts. 
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    waltzingmatilda13waltzingmatilda13 member
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    My parents paid for the whole wedding and gave us a substantial amount of money for a honeymoon as their gift. My parents are awesome, by the way.
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    angie74angie74
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    my parents did both- they paid for almost the whole wedding, and gave us their time share for 2 weeks for our honeymoon. I have REALLY generous parents who are awesome, and we were really thankful. We didn't ask for any of it- they just volunteered.

    his parents gave us some money as well, and a nice gift. again, we didn't ask for anything- they're just really generous.


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    Brie2010Brie2010 member
    First Comment
    My mom paid for a substantial portion of the wedding but did not give us a wedding gift.  She gave us a very nice shower gift, though (our pots and pans).

    DH's parents gave us a large check and basically told us we could use it for the wedding or for whatever we wanted.  We ended up putting most of it towards WR stuff and some towards the HM, so it was kind of both.
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    vtbmvtbm
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    My parents are paying for at least half of the wedding if not more so my guess is no gift and I totally don't expect one. My mother is also paying for the entire shower (I wouldn't be shocked if she somehow managed to throw a kick ass gift in there too without dad knowing;)...she rocks!)  His parents are paying for the rehersal dinner and are giving us a small amount of money as a gift.

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    rubyjem00rubyjem00
    First Comment
    My parents paid for the wedding but didn't give us a gift (which was fine- the wedding became more expensive than we had originially thought and I would have felt bad if my parents had gotten us a gift too). DH's dad paid for the rehearsal dinner and for part of our honeymoon. DH's mom didn't pay for any of the wedding but gave us a small wedding gift. So...I guess we were all over the board!
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    andy71781andy71781 member
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    My dad is paying for 90% of my wedding and made it very clear that his contribution covered his gift obligation.
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    opalsky007opalsky007 member
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    My parents kicked in for some of the wedding expenses, and also bought some of our china. Which was really cool, since no one else had bought china!
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    damalessdamaless
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    All the parents are contributing, and my dad has talked about giving a gift.  I told him I didn't expect one, but I imagine in the end it will just come down to whether they want to give a gift or not.  I wouldn't be shocked either way, but I definitely wouldn't be offended if they didn't give a gift.
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    louisvillebride21louisvillebride21
    First Comment
    My parents paid for the wedding and gave us a good sized target gift card at my shower. His mom took care of the flowers, favors and his tux and still bought us most of our registry. She's still goign to buy us a bed as our 'wedding gift' once we get settled into a place.
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    emarston1emarston1 member
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    I voted for the "something else."  When we first got engaged, my dad told me he was going to give us X amount of money for the wedding.  I recently found out that my dad plans on giving us whatever we don't spend of X (which drastically changed some of my ideas...goodbye expensive linens!)  I don't expect them to get us a wedding gift on top of everything but I wouldn't be surprised if they did.

    FI's parents are also contributing quite a bit but I'm not sure what they plan on doing for a gift (if anything.)

    I do think both moms will get me a shower gift though since they 've already mentioned it.
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    Kati0105Kati0105
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    My mom paid for almost our entire wedding, DH's dad and stepmom paid for the RD.  My mom, my dad, and both of DH's sets of parents also bought gifts.
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    lapcanlapcan member
    First Comment
    My grandparent's paid for the wedding (they raised me) and gave us our entire set of china.  I can't begin to describe how thankful I am!
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    skippylouwhoskippylouwho member
    First Comment
    I would give gifts whether I'm paying for my children's weddings or not. We've had 1 shower for DD and I took gifts, we have another one coming up and I'll take a gift to it. I also have their wedding gift. 4 place settings of their everyday dishes for the shower, 4 each of their various fine crystal goblets (red wine, white wine, water, etc) for their wedding.  No, I'm not taking their wedding gifts to the wedding but will give them to them either just before or after they get back from their honeymoon.

    Showes for FDIL won't start until after the first of the year but I already have one shower gift purchased. 
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    Kristin&ericKristin&eric
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    ummm FI's mom got his sister a nice wedding gift when she got married So i guess Fi thinks that she is going to get us something. They are paying for the RD.
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    kristinanddankristinanddan member
    First Comment Combo Breaker
    My parents were not in a financial situation where they could help pay for the wedding, and they didn't give us a wedding gift either. They did purchase half of our china from our registry for the shower.

    My ILs paid for the rehearsal dinner and gave us a very large wedding gift.
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    clarereedyclarereedy
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    My parents are paying for almost the entire wedding and are planning on giving us a gift as well.  My mom and I bought a timeshare together years ago, so that is what we are using for our honeymoon and my mom is giving me our honeymoon airfare as my shower gift. 
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    AmoroAgainAmoroAgain member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    My mom paid nothing for the wedding and gave us nothing (not even a card!) as a wedding present. 
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    pooh8402pooh8402
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    my parents paid for the wedding and they got us gifts. H's parents got us gifts too.
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    pooh8402pooh8402
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_parents-paying-wedding-giving-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:17876a65-1f5d-476b-984f-1339b76ef685Post:1aabec86-2dec-4b75-9738-ea135a0dff09">Re: Parents paying for wedding AND giving gifts?</a>:
    [QUOTE]My parents were not in a financial situation where they could help pay for the wedding, and they didn't give us a wedding gift either.<strong> They did purchase half of our china from our registry for the shower.</strong> My ILs paid for the rehearsal dinner and gave us a very large wedding gift.
    Posted by kristinanddan[/QUOTE]
    looks to me like they did give you a gift, and a large one too.
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    TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    First Comment Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    My parents are not paying for the wedding, and they are giving us gifts. However, if they were paying for the wedding, I'd expect them to give a gift, just not a very expensive one.

    Then again, my brother and I suck and didn't get my mom anything when she got married. She even paid for my plane ticket to her wedding.
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    mags0607mags0607
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    My mother is paying for the whole wedding, and called me up the other day to tell me she decided to buy us our TV as a wedding gift. ( I LOVE my parents and was Totally not expecting that) She has also bought our bedding for one shower and our grill for the other. ( I can't wait)

    Rick's parents have offered to pay for the RD. and there has been no mention of gifts (but they are big on surprises) but either way is fine by us. We don't expect them.


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    myother1myother1 member
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    My parents (divorced) gave us enough for our honeymoon, with a little left over.  My parents both gave us wedding gifts - my mom: paid for the harpist at our wedding, and my dad: cash.

    H's parents paid for the rehearsal dinner, but did not give us a wedding gift at all.  Ironically, they have way more money than my parents.
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    Night_SpriteNight_Sprite
    First Comment Combo Breaker
    My parents helped and gave a gift.  His parents did not help, but gave a gift.
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    temerityjanetemerityjane
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    I'm not married yet, but my parents are paying for a significant portion of the wedding so I would be shocked if they also got a gift. I don't expect it at all. I assume their genorousity with the wedding is their gift. My mom also paid for my plane ticket to my shower, which I am taking as her shower gift and writing and thank you note accordingly.
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    golden1215golden1215 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    thanks for all the input ladies- now I'm excited that I'll maybe have more gifts to open!

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    carrieoz_76carrieoz_76 member
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    We are very fortunate that FI's and my parents parents are paying for most of the wedding and HM (I have a sneaking suspicion that they're just happy that we're both finally getting married :) ) and they've also been very generous regarding gifts so far in that all 3 sets of parents gave us shower gifts.

    As for wedding presents, I don't know if they'll all do anything more - if they don't, that's totally fine.  But my mom specifically told me that her parents' wedding gift when she married my dad was paying for the wedding, and for FI and I, she wants to give us something that will last in our marriage, so I do expect something from her at least.
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    kellyf87kellyf87
    First Comment
    My parents have helped pay for the wedding and I would not want a gift from them. They have helped out so much that it would seem wrong to get more...If however they choose to gift more i wont say no as it makes them feel good and they are so excited for the wedding.
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    Beachy730Beachy730 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    My parents are paying for most of the wedidng, and my mom paid for my shower and they are paying for the RD.  FI's family is in no position to pay for any of it.  My parents just gave us a large check to use for whatever we want, and said they aren't giving us a wedding gift.  In my area though wedding gifts are usually monetary so it would be really weird for them to pay for the wedding and give us more money.  My mom had a gorgeous handmade purse made for me at my shower from her and several grandmothers wedding gown materials, so that was worth way more to me than something off my registry.  FI's mom got us a shower gift and I'm assuming will give us a wedding gift as well. 
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    SolaraAsh24SolaraAsh24
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    My parents are paying for about 90% of the wedding (we are picking up the tab for the videographer and photographer which was expensive. Our wedding has not yet occurred but I know they are planning to give us a gift - probably money.
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