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Maid of honor, or not?

indiemusicluvindiemusicluv
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in Gay Weddings
About a month ago I asked my sister to be my maid of honor in my wedding. She said yes of course.. which is why I was thrown off when she publically announced on facebook she didn't accept gay marriage. I didn't even know she felt that way! She wants to still be in my wedding to support me & my future wife but I'm torn. I feel like she's basically saying I don't deserve the same rights as her and well every other heterosexual out there. Do I keep her in my wedding or just invite her as a guest? Help please!
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Re: Maid of honor, or not?

  • Enchanted616Enchanted616 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    How horrible for you!  I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.

    I would normally never advise someone to kick out a bridesmaid.. but it would be pretty hard for me to have my sister stand up with my if she publicly said she disapproves of my marriage, in any situation, gay or straight.   Have you talked to her about this?  Are you two close otherwise?  You said you were surprised, so I'm guessing you didnt know she felt this way about same sex marriage.. I would have a heart to heart with her, but if she sticks to what she said on facebook.. It would be a really hard choice to have her as my MOH.

    Again, so sorry you have to go through this.

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  • indiemusicluvindiemusicluv
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    edited December 2011
    Thanks for the advice. I am torn. My sister & I are or well, were close. A lot has changed but even still I always expected her to be in my wedding. I had no idea my sister felt that way about gay marriage. I want everyone in my wedding supporting us because it is after all a HUGE day! I don't want to be standing at the alter & looking back at my sister and wondering does she think we're going to hell? I don't even know why she would still want to be in my wedding if she felt that way. We talked briefly about it but my sister deals with things by saying "lets just drop it." It's clear my sister & I need a heart to heart. Well, wish me luck!! ;)
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  • Phil&PandaPhil&Panda
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yeah- that's really terrible! What a difficult position to be in!

    Let us know what you decide. It sounds like your sister has some strong feelings about you and about your marriage. Try to get her to explain exactly why she wants to be in your wedding. It may be enough for you to know how much she cares about you even if she has some issues with acceptance, but you may find out that her issues outweigh the desire to have her beside you. I'm sorry!
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  • nicknuttncnicknuttnc member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think that she is your sister and some people don't see family when they view the rest of society in their views. I love my family and they all say things about gay people but then say they don't mean me just the rest of them. Go figure. I still love me...........
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  • Fabi&NitaFabi&Nita member
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    edited December 2011
    I'm so very sorry about this. Like another bride said I would never say its ok to kick off a wedding party member but in this case I would say you have a good reason to. But ask her to come to the wedding. Or just talk to her and let her know that what she said really hurt you and ask her why she want to be in the wedding. Again I'm so sorry and hope you can work this out with her. Good luck
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