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Gay Weddings

Gay Friendly?

Hello, My partner and I are planning a Fall 2012 wedding now that we can marry in NY. Because of NY just legalizing same sex marriage there isn't alot of information (that I could find) on what venue/companies are "gay friendly". My partner think I am just worrying too much and "Our money is just as green as anyone elses". Which might be the case but taking our money and helping us make this one of the best days of our lives could be two different things. Has anyone else had this issue? Do you recommend coming out and asking if someone would have an "issue"?
We are in Western NY, not the most liberal part of the state.

Re: Gay Friendly?

  • daisywithakdaisywithak member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I live in Missouri and I was concerned with the same things.  I came right out and asked every vendor that I contacted if they were "gay friendly".  You can tell from their reactions (even if they say they're ok with it) and make a decision from there.   
  • SaranacLakeSaranacLake member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We're in Northern New York, same sort of situation as you - depending on the town, not the most liberal place in the world. (Although we do have plenty of supporters and friends). 

    We stuck with asking people we knew and kept our cards pretty close - rather than calling around on the phone, we asked friends about space at their businesses, etc. For instance, town halls are often free (or cheap) for residents to use ... but we didn't want to be "that gay wedding in town hall" and end up on the front page of the paper. 

    We ended up deciding on the 120 year old Fellowship Hall at my (Episcopal) church. We originally wanted an outdoor site with a pavilion, but a beautiful all-wood hall at my disposal  in a place where I know I'll have no trouble was worth the compromise for us. Maybe ask around via some friends? 
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  • edited December 2011
    No matter where you are in NY you should look up Alexis Stein Photography (www.alexissteinphoto.com) out of NY. They are VERY LGBT friendly and have done some lesbian and gay weddings as well as engagement shoots. They are on www.soyoureenGAYged.com where you can find some more info on LGBT friendly vendors. I posted stuff about them on here cause they just announced a $500.00 discount to ANY LGBT couple from NY in light of the recent news.

    Hope this info finds you and helps.
  • edited December 2011
    My fiance and I are doing the same as daisywithak. It's kind of uncomfortable to ask, but it's important to know that your vendors are going to do a good job on your wedding day.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_gay-weddings_gay-friendly?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:44Discussion:e0aeeeac-5024-439e-b0a2-bcb96a9f7fd2Post:af0e875f-2ce6-449c-8eab-6345bf70121d">Re: Gay Friendly?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I live in Missouri and I was concerned with the same things.  <strong>I came right out and asked every vendor that I contacted if they were "gay friendly". </strong> You can tell from their reactions (even if they say they're ok with it) and make a decision from there.   
    Posted by daisywithak[/QUOTE]

    Do that :] I got very strange looks from all of my vendors because I asked them this same question....and I'm a straight woman! I just wouldn't feel comfortable if my soon to be husband and I were to get married at a location where they were not gay friendly or (especially) get married by someone who wasn't. I'm a strong believer in gay rights and many of our guests are gay, I want them to be just as comfortable as I am :]
  • 2dBride2dBride member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    We live near DC, but got married in Massachusetts back before DC had gay marriage.  We didn't specifically ask our vendors whether they had an "issue."  However, when I called vendors to schedule appointments, I'd say something like, "We are looking for coordinating wedding dresses, because this is a two-bride wedding."  That way, if they had a negative reaction, we could figure it out in advance.

    I didn't specifically ask whether they were gay-friendly, because many of the wedding vendors we were dealing with had never even been asked to deal with a gay couple before, so they were unlikely to have any official position.  However, if I told them we were gay, and they stayed friendly, all was good.  Smile
  • edited December 2011
    I am telling you, if any of you have any kind of budget at all...whether you are in NY or not, you should look up Alexis Stein Photography. I know at least one couple from The Knot boards who used them and they are VERY LGBT friendly. They travel A LOT too. Tell them Karen sent you and I am certain they will hook you up.
  • edited December 2011
    I live in Iowa,and this was a concern of mine.  I didnt want a dj at the reception that was going to take issue with two guys dancing together.  I flat out asked them if they had an issue.  99% of the vendors I spoke with were really good.  The only issue I had was with a Radisson HOtel in our town.  I spoke to them by phone and just said my spouse and I.  We discussed dates available, prices and such.  The next day we go to meet with them, and they make us wait 20 minutes before they came and talked to us, then all of the sudden all the dates we had discussed were booked overnight.   To top it all off, they gave us a lovely 5 minute discussion and tour of their facilities.  Every other place was at least a half hour.  It really suprised me how they treated us.  Instead of make an issue of it with them, I just booked another venue and now tell anyone I can about the clear discrimination we faced.
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  • hudsonriverhudsonriver member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hi there.  I am a wedding photographer in the Hudson Valley.  IMO, you should mention that you are having a same sex wedding to your vendors.  MOST vendors will be happy to help you (some will be very enthusiastic!).  You only want to hire vendors that are THRILLED to help you put your wedding together after all it's one of the most important days of your life!

    I don't know where in Western NY you are, but I'm sure there are plenty of LGTB friendly (and gay themselves) vendors in Buffalo, Ithaca, Binghamton etc.

    Hope this helps!  Good luck and congrats!

    Diane


    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_gay-weddings_gay-friendly?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:44Discussion:e0aeeeac-5024-439e-b0a2-bcb96a9f7fd2Post:9ee22bd4-b6c0-4144-a597-d5139e1252f1">Gay Friendly?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hello, My partner and I are planning a Fall 2012 wedding now that we can marry in NY. Because of NY just legalizing same sex marriage there isn't alot of information (that I could find) on what venue/companies are "gay friendly". My partner think I am just worrying too much and "Our money is just as green as anyone elses". Which might be the case but taking our money and helping us make this one of the best days of our lives could be two different things. Has anyone else had this issue? Do you recommend coming out and asking if someone would have an "issue"? We are in Western NY, not the most liberal part of the state.
    Posted by phacker[/QUOTE]
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