Wedding Invitations & Paper

does someone mind proofing?

I hope i'm posting in the right place. Can anyone proof if you don't mind? :) P.S. Not sure why the Las Vegas, Nevada isn't centered in the post but it is on my invite. 

 

Pack your bags, get out town,

head to Vegas and double down!

Because you have shared in

their lives by your friendship and love

Brittany Lane Roy

and

Trever James Shields

Together with their parents

invite you to share

the beginning of their new life together

when they exchange marriage vows

on Thursday, the sixteenth of May

Two thousand thirteen

at five o'clock in the afternoon

Mandalay Bay

Valley of the Falls

950 Las Vegas Boulevard South

Las Vegas, Nevada

 

Re: does someone mind proofing?

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_does-someone-mind-proofing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:b7ca6584-bf4b-4b27-8532-18529a47549aPost:f937f78e-987b-4a62-bdeb-bdb04431e4ce">Re: does someone mind proofing?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am really not a fan of cute poetry on a wedding invitation.  My initial reaction is - ugh!  You can do it of you feel you really must.  Sigh. You do have some capitalization errors. (Why the pink printing?  It is hard to read.)  Here is my edit: Together with their parents Brittany Lane Roy and Trever James Shields invite you to share the beginning of their new life together as they are united in marriage Thursday, the sixteenth of May two thousand thirteen  five o'clock Mandalay Bay Valley of the Falls 950 Las Vegas Boulevard South Las Vegas, Nevada
    Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

    <div>^------ Yes. "Together with their parents" should go first and I agree about the cutesy poem. Sounds more appropiate for a shower. But if you must, and your invitation is folded, I would suggest putting the poem on the front of the invites and the info inside. </div><div>Valley of the Falls is BEAUTIFUL, BTW!! I wanted to get married there but my FI hates Vegas. :) Congratulations!</div>
  • I'm also not a fan of poems on invitations.  And while "double down" does refer to gambling, to me it doesn't relate to your wedding invitation at all.  CMGr's wording is perfect.

    I don't know if you have it correctly on your invitations, but the address for Mandalay Bay is 3950 (not 950) Las Vegas Bl South.
  • I looked at your planning BIO and saw your save the dates - which have a Vegas theme to them.  Do your invites have this same theme?  My invitations aren't the standard wedding invitations.  That being said, here is an idea:

    BECAUSE YOU HAVE SHARED IN

    THEIR LOVE AND LAUGHTER

     

    Together with their parents

     

    Brittany Lane Roy

    and

    Trever James Shields

     

    invite you to join us

    as we exchange our wedding vows

     

    Thursday, the sixteenth of May

    two thousand thirteen

    at five o'clock in the afternoon

    Mandalay Bay

    Valley of the Falls

    950 Las Vegas Boulevard South

    Las Vegas, Nevada

     

    image
  • Together with their parents

    Brittany Lane Roy

    and

    Trever James Shields

    invite you to join us

    as we exchange our wedding vows

    You are mixing persons:  Should be together with THEIR parents, bride and brooms invite you to  join THEM as THEY exchange...

  • Thank you for catching that, Peavy!  You are absolutely correct!  :)
    image
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