SHOWER vs WEDDING GIFT.

mrspereyda2012 · January 2012

If you attend a Bridal shower and are planning to attend the wedding do you bring gifts to both occasions or do you feel the Bridal Shower gift covers both events.

THIS IS A GENERAL QUESTION....

Avion22 · January 2012

I generally get something more for the bride at the shower -- like something more suited to her interests. I might use something off her registry as inspiration. Say, if I know she loves crockpot cooking and has registered for a crockpot, maybe I'll get the crockpot and a cookbook wtih crockpot recipes.

For the wedding I try to do something that is more for both the bride and the groom -- like a gift card

rachaelgettingmarried · January 2012

I generally bring gifts to both occasions. I usually do a smaller gift off the registry for the shower and for the wedding I either give a larger gift of cash or a bigger gift off the registry.

banana468 · January 2012

If I'm invited to the shower I know I'm invited to the wedding. So my husband and I often come up with a full budget for what we want to spend on the couple and then a portion of that goes towards a shower gift.

The rest goes to a wedding gift.

adktd2boots · January 2012

We generally give cash at the wedding itself, but for the shower I give a gift. I have no "set" gift, it just depends on the person and my relationship with them.

jagore08 · January 2012

We do gifts for both. Our general rule is about $50 for the shower and $100 for the wedding (if we're really close to the B&G we usually spend more).

ElisabethJoanne · January 2012

Amy Vanderbilt and Emily Post both say you give gifts for both. You always bring a shower gift. You should have a wedding gift shipped.

Lots of people on theknot say in their circles, showers are for gifts; weddings are for cash. That's not true with me.

andreamarie77 · January 2012

I've had about 10-12 friends get married in the past couple years (there's something in the water over here) and everyone in our group of friends has gotten something for both the shower and the wedding. Normally you would either get something off the registry for the shower and then bring a card with a gift card to the same place they registered to inside a card to the wedding, or just give them a check inside a card. The gift table at the weddings were always loaded with presents though, so I'm assuming those were from people who were not invited to the shower - they probably bought up the rest of the gifts off the registry.

I agree with one of the PP though - set an overall budget and use a portion of that for the shower and the rest for the wedding.

TiffannieF · January 2012

I bring gifts to both.

TiffannieF · January 2012

I will also give a gift at the b-party if I am invited.

tldh · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_shower-vs-wedding-gift?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:e56c5736-4b17-45ad-8a0f-96f7efcb5618Post:aac114b3-0d5d-4d3f-ac77-0d6300c196d7">Re: SHOWER vs WEDDING GIFT.</a>:
[QUOTE]We do gifts for both. Our general rule is about $50 for the shower and $100 for the wedding (if we're really close to the B&G we usually spend more).
Posted by jagore08[/QUOTE]

Same here. Nine times out of ten it's a boxed gift for the shower and cash for the wedding.

MNVegas · January 2012

I give a gift for both. Boxed gift for shower and usually cash for wedding gift.

HobokensFury · January 2012

In my area physical gifts are given at a shower and money is given at the wedding. You should really bring something to both.

RebeccaB88 · January 2012

I was raised that if you're invited to a shower, then you give your wedding gift at the shower. You don't give two gifts, and to expect two gifts is greedy on the part of the receiver. Now I don't know if this is a local thing or just my family, but I've always followed this rule. Hmm...

amymaysa · January 2012

I always give something for both. Like others, it's usually a physical gift for the shower and money for the wedding. For some good friends, I gave them a small, personal gift for the wedding with some money.

It is common in my area to give something at both.

Aks3131 · January 2012

In my area a physical gift is given at the bridal shower, usually something off of the registry, and money is given at the wedding. The amount given at the wedding depends on how much the bride & groom paid per person. In my circle we try to cover that amount so if per guest it was $100 I would give $100 if it's just me attending or $200 if it's myself & fiance. Gifts are given at both events.

hoffse · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_shower-vs-wedding-gift?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:e56c5736-4b17-45ad-8a0f-96f7efcb5618Post:29969c7f-7f7b-4275-a3d9-b7a1bf1df70e">Re: SHOWER vs WEDDING GIFT.</a>:
[QUOTE]I buy two gifts, and shop off the registry for both. For a shower, it's something small, like baking pans or a towel set. For the wedding, I buy a nicer item, such as a setting of their china.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

<div>This is what I do. Boxed gifts for both are pretty common in southern states. We like to see a full gift table at both events down here.</div>

tldh · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_shower-vs-wedding-gift?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:e56c5736-4b17-45ad-8a0f-96f7efcb5618Post:9a5d690c-dad2-4741-898a-2512ac292154">Re: SHOWER vs WEDDING GIFT.</a>:
[QUOTE]In my area a physical gift is given at the bridal shower, usually something off of the registry, and money is given at the wedding. The amount given at the wedding depends on how much the bride & groom paid per person. In my circle we try to cover that amount so if per guest it was $100 I would give $100 if it's just me attending or $200 if it's myself & fiance. Gifts are given at both events.
Posted by Aks3131[/QUOTE]

How in the world do you know what was spent????

jemmini6 · January 2012

I don't like showers, so I normally decline the invitation unless I'm really close to the bride.

If I do go to a shower, then I'll normally spend 20% of my original wedding gift budget for the shower (a boxed gift) and 80% for the wedding (cash). If I don't go to the shower, then I just give 100% of my planned gift at the wedding.

jemmini6 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_shower-vs-wedding-gift?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:e56c5736-4b17-45ad-8a0f-96f7efcb5618Post:57ceb99b-6455-4f37-87b4-ea8cd00fb541">Re: SHOWER vs WEDDING GIFT.</a>:
[QUOTE]I was raised that if you're invited to a shower, then you give your wedding gift at the shower. You don't give two gifts, and<strong> to expect two gifts is greedy on the part of the receiver</strong>. Now I don't know if this is a local thing or just my family, but I've always followed this rule. Hmm...
Posted by RebeccaB88[/QUOTE]

To expect ANY gifts is greedy of the receiver.

lopezalonso · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_shower-vs-wedding-gift?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:e56c5736-4b17-45ad-8a0f-96f7efcb5618Post:fedc1d45-eb3e-4007-8188-6d7e26b404f1">Re: SHOWER vs WEDDING GIFT.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: SHOWER vs WEDDING GIFT. : How in the world do you know what was spent????
Posted by tldh[/QUOTE]

You know about how much was spent by calling the reception place and asking for the cost of a plate on the week night the wedding is scheduled for. As PPs have already mentioned, I also give a gift for the shower and another gift for the wedding. We usually give 75-100 for the showers and 150 per person for the wedding. The cost of a plate where I'm from usually ranges from 125 to 200.

slaketahoebride · January 2012

I bring something to both.

I spend about 1/4 of what I do on the wedding present on the shower present.

AurorasEnvy · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_shower-vs-wedding-gift?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:e56c5736-4b17-45ad-8a0f-96f7efcb5618Post:aac114b3-0d5d-4d3f-ac77-0d6300c196d7">Re: SHOWER vs WEDDING GIFT.</a>:
[QUOTE]We do gifts for both. Our general rule is about $50 for the shower and $100 for the wedding (if we're really close to the B&G we usually spend more).
Posted by jagore08[/QUOTE]

<div>Same thing here. I would feel really out of place showing up to a shower and/or wedding with no gift at all.</div>

mcdoh006 · January 2012

Wow... I kind of feel bad now. I was raised to think that if you brought a gift to the shower then that covered the wedding. I wonder how many of my friends I've accidentally upset by not giving a second gift to.

SHOWER vs WEDDING GIFT.

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