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What should my friends be in the wedding?

nicol629nicol629
in Wedding Party
We are having a very small wedding party...just our four siblings (2 boys and 2 girls). I, however, have four girl friends that I want in the wedding. I want them to have a special job, because they mean everything to me. Any suggestions? I want them to be involved, but more than just readers or candle lighters.
I'm open to any suggestions or new creative ideas!!??
Thanks! :)
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Re: What should my friends be in the wedding?

  • mags0607mags0607
    1000 Comments
    Have them as BMs if you want them involved, and remember that WPs do not have to be even. You can have more BMs than your FI has GM if you can't imagine getting married without them standing up for you.

    Also you can just invite them as guests, and make sure they get a chance to partake in any pre-wedding fun. Ask them to get ready with you, save them a spot in the limo if you have room. Being a guest is also an honor.

    I'm not the biggest fan of this option, but I had a friend that had a small WP of just her 2 siblings, and they were in one color dress, then she had 8 friends who wore whatever black dress they wanted. They each walked down the aisle with a single flower before her other attendants, and then sat in the front row. Her two other attendants walked down the aisle and essentially acted as her honor attendants. The groom did not have any other people than the 2 standing up for him at the altar.  I'm not sure what titles everyone had, but there are a bunch of cute pictures with all of the girls.
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  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    The only other "job" I think would be an honor (and not work) would be a singer or musical performer, if they have talent.

    Otherwise, I might just invite them to hang out with you while you're getting ready for the day, and be sure to get a nice photo with them at some point in the evening.
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  • SarahPLizSarahPLiz member
    10000 Comments
    Either ask them to be BMs, or they can just be guests.

    I am in a similar situation, as my sisters are my MsOH and I have no BMs. My 4 closest friends actually asked NOT to be BMs. However, I heard this weekend that they are planning to throw a shower for me (I was not expecting to have one at all). One of them's daughter is the FG. Another one went to a bridal show with me (of her own free will). Just because they aren't BMs doesnt make them not good friends.

    I say just have your family in your WP and your close friends as guests. There is no need for them to be IN the wedding ceremony just because they are really good friends.
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    The ceremony is something special between a bride and groom.  It's not a place to make up jobs to give to friends that you choose not to have in your wedding party.

    I would just have them be a  guest and leave it at that.  There is nothing wrong with being just a guest.  It's still a honor.. They can still attend pre-wedding parties, help out  whenever they want, etc.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Either make them BMs or just have them come as guests.  Don't underestimate how much fun it is to be a guest.  I don't mind being able to eat, drink and party in an outfit of my own choosing, even for a really good friend's wedding.  If you take photos and dance with them, they'll be happy.  Any job you make up would be just that--a job, not an honor.  Mature adults understand you can't ask everyone to be in the WP, and even if they're a little disappointed at first they'll get over it by the time of the wedding.
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Brides sometimes get so caught up in trying to "include" everyone in their wedding that they forget that being a guest IS being included.  Either make them BM's or make them guests.  Anything else is just silly.

    And from my POV, the silliest is having non-BMs walk down the aisle holding a flower, and then having photos taken afterward.  That IS a BM.  I'd laugh myself silly if someone asked me to do that.  And I'd be giving a WTH???? if I was at a wedding where I saw something like that.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • mags0607mags0607
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_should-friends-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:742298e4-1302-45a4-bca0-68e34c3c15e9Post:af8657e5-64e2-4a7a-9126-851fc67136f5">Re: What should my friends be in the wedding?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Brides sometimes get so caught up in trying to "include" everyone in their wedding that they forget that being a guest IS being included.  Either make them BM's or make them guests.  Anything else is just silly. <strong>And from my POV, the silliest is having non-BMs walk down the aisle holding a flower, and then having photos taken afterward.  That IS a BM.  I'd laugh myself silly if someone asked me to do that.  And I'd be giving a WTH???? if I was at a wedding where I saw something like that.</strong>
    Posted by trix1223[/QUOTE]

    I wasn;t condoning it, I think they were actually BMs but they didn't stand at the altar. I'm not sure. I wasn't really paying attention until I saw the pictures of them all together. I threw it out there because I think that is better than other "made up" jobs brides can come up with..lol.
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    mags, I knew you weren't condoning that.  I knew that because you said you weren't.  Right there in your post.  =)
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • mags0607mags0607
    1000 Comments
    :).. I'm sick and am running a litle bit on slow. I had to go rered my own post to ake sure I had prefeced it with Bad Idea...lol
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  • JanessaWalliserJanessaWalliser member
    First Comment

    I have 3 very close girlfriends that I met in college.  Even though I don't have room for them to be BM's I am letting them do the toast to the bride.  Who said that the toast to the bride had to be someone in the wedding party?

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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    You're "letting them" give you a toast?  Did they ask to do it or did you ask them?  
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    All of these made up jobs and titles are just silly, and the person would know that you are making up a title for them because you don't want them as a bridesmaid.  Save them the embarrassment, and either have them as bridesmaids or guests. 

    BTW, an honorary bridesmaid is a bridesmaid that couldn't make it to the ceremony.  
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  • KatWolfe7373KatWolfe7373 member
    First Comment
    Eh...Yeah "within the ribbon" is for my large family.  They will be seated by the ushers in the front pews.  This puts all fam together, which is especially important due to the large size of our very formal wedding.  It is fairly old-fashioned, but I am from the South!  I enjoy some bits of tradition...
    I agree regarding the honorary BM thing (all my girls are standing with me), but I was trying to suggest some options I have heard ppl use...
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  • JanessaWalliserJanessaWalliser member
    First Comment
    I asked them to do the toast to the bride.  They did not ask.  I thought it would be a special way to include them in my wedding without having a huge number of bridesmaids.  And I know their toast will be funny (what I wanted), especially if they include some college stories ;)
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_should-friends-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:742298e4-1302-45a4-bca0-68e34c3c15e9Post:cc193f55-0a32-423e-9132-cf89756a41da">Re: What should my friends be in the wedding?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I asked them to do the toast to the bride.  They did not ask.  I thought it would be a special way to include them in my wedding without having a huge number of bridesmaids.  And I know their toast will be funny (what I wanted), especially if they include some college stories ;)
    Posted by JanessaWalliser[/QUOTE]

    <div>It's pretty tacky to ask someone to toast you!</div>
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