i heard a rumor...

Calypso1977 · November 2010

...that the wedding i'm in next year has 15 groomsmen and 7 bridesmaids. i mean, to each his own i guess, but yikes! i'm not even sure wills and kate will be that extravagant!

aleighk1 · November 2010

What? You mean the sides aren't even? It's not a real wedding if the sides are uneven.

But in all seriousness, do they really need a 22 person WP excluding the bride and groom and whoever else they have?

shortee426 · November 2010

In an episode of "4 Weddings" one of the couples had a 35 person WP!!! That is just way too much. I thought I was going overboard with 6 on each side.

kellyjellybelly · November 2010

In all honesty, if we didn't have a DW, I would have easily had 10 BMs. I went with 5 since we ended up having a smaller wedding.

ohwhynot · November 2010

I irrationally dislike those people. Hard.

I'm not even sure why it bugs me so much, but huge wedding parties have always rubbed me the wrong way.

crfische · November 2010

OOHHHH, geez. But as we know, lots of attendants does not always equal extravagant.

I always assume these people are fraternity/sorority people.

crfische · November 2010

By "these people" I mean people who have HUUUUGEEEE weddin parties.

kellyjellybelly · November 2010

I guess I just don't get the BFD. Who care if they have 1 person or 12?

WildRumpus · November 2010

My sister had 8 bridesmaids, 8 groomsmen, 4 ushers, 2 flower girls, and 1 ring bearer...so 23. A little much for me, but they were all people that were important to her and BIL, so I kept my mouth shut. But yeah, that's a lot of people

Birdie1483 · November 2010

Our good friends had 10-15 people on each side. I have no idea why. I'm not sure if it was because he started picking friends and didn't know where to cut it off or what. Their wedding was in no way "extravagant" either.

I honestly had a hard time figuring out who to ask to be on my side because I have a group of good friends that consist of about 14 girls. One will be my MOH, but the others I'm all equally friendly with (I met them through her) but haven't really hung out with one on one with much. I consider them some of my best friends, but I always seem to be with them as a group. I ended up not asking any of the others to be in my WP because if I picked one I wouldn't know who to pick and who not to pick and it would have snowballed from there.

mica178 · November 2010

How are they going to arrange everyone? From a purely practical perspective, not many churches or ceremony venues have huge areas for that large of a WP. And the pictures usually look silly with the B&G looking tiny since the photographer has to zoom out so far.

Birdie1483 · November 2010

I don't remember how our friends arranged theirs. They could do tiers maybe?

I do remember we had enough girlfriends/wives to consist of an entire tables just for us because the guys were up at the head table.

crfische · November 2010

I just think it's overkill, personally. I don't have a huge issue with it, but when I see that many people in a wedding party, unless they are the Duggars, I kinda do an internal eye roll.

Birdie1483 · November 2010

One girl from the group I was talking about earlier got married last year and they had 7 I think on each side. There were a few of us not "picked" and there were definitely some hurt feelings (not by me). Sometimes I think people choose to have larger WPs to avoid hurting feelings when there might be just one or two people in a group not asked. Chicks can be crazy like that. :-)

Birdie1483 · November 2010

Not all of us sorority girls are crazy by the way!!! :-)

I think I'll only be inviting 2-3 girls from sorority to my wedding. After four years with them, I realized I couldn't stand most of the girls.

GeauxTigers17 · November 2010

I'm with kelly - I can't imagine why this would bug a 3rd party observer. 99% of the time, it's about avoiding hurt feelings.

crfische · November 2010

I never said they were crazy!

I just usually assume that they are the people who have a large bridal party because it's probably harder to draw a line.

And I don't think avoiding hurt feelings is a valid reason to have someone in your wedding party.

Birdie1483 · November 2010

You obviously don't have any crazy friends then!

Some bitches be crazy!!

kellyjellybelly · November 2010

I have a fairly large, central group of friends. Most of the girls I have known since grade school. I wouldn't add people just to add people to have a large WP. But, that's just me.

I definitely had the smallest WP of all the weddings I've been in. So maybe that just clouds my judgement

Stackeye210 · November 2010

I was in a 26 person WP. I didn't feel honored to be included, I felt like she thought she was supposed to ask me..........in fact I didn't see any of the wedding because I was 9 people back b/c I was the second tallest.

crfische · November 2010

Oh no, I know PLENTY of crazy ones, too, I just don't like to label the whole crew of 'em.

And KJB, I get that. One of my best friends from high school got married about 3 years after we graduated, she had 9 of us on each side because she said she just couldn't find a place to draw a line. I had kind of moved on a bit at the time from them, but she still had me in her wedding. At the time, I thought it was weird. It was just too big of a wedding party. But I can get if you guys have always been close, it'd be hard to draw a line, ya know?

Now that we're older, we all still get along and are super close and try to make time to get together at least every three months.

kellyjellybelly · November 2010

I think it's just a situational, personal thing. I am in a wedding in Feb. I have met the bride 5 times. It's BIL's wedding - I'm pretty sure she asked me since H is the BM. Do I think that's a little silly? Yep. But whatever.

And I thought I was done being in weddings

Beachy730 · November 2010

I think its ridiculous to have a huge WP if you have a small wedding. Like BIL and FSIL's wedding next summer that H and I are in, including the B&G there are 20 people in the WP, and there are only 80 people invited. So literally 1/4 of the guest list is in the WP. That to me is insane.

If someone had a huge wedding though then I don't mind it as much. I'm of the thinking though that I would disclude a whole group before having 15 people on my side. And actually I did. If i would have decided to do a mixed gender WP I would have added my brother and 3 of my best guy friends, giving me 9.

crfische · November 2010

I would love to be done being in weddings. LOVE. IT. I'm so over it.

cherbein · November 2010

We have 7 bridesmaids (a couple close friends, my sisters, and my fiance's sister) and 6 groomsmen which I thought was a little on the large side. It actually kind of makes me feel better to see that people have gone bigger in a silly perhaps I'm not that crazy way

GeauxTigers17 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_heard-rumor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:75f1e306-9309-40ba-be97-21996097a8f0Post:1fb24eff-cbda-4152-a431-0fa25250cfdb">Re: i heard a rumor...</a>:
[QUOTE]I never said they were crazy! :) I just usually assume that they are the people who have a large bridal party because it's probably harder to draw a line. And I don't think avoiding hurt feelings is a valid reason to have someone in your wedding party.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

<div>You're right, hurt feelings alone is a bad reason... I was trying to say it's often about avoiding making a statement about the friendship that you aren't trying to make. Ex: I'm in a very tight-knit group of 5, and while I'm closest to two of the girls, it's not worth leaving the other two out solely in the interest of numbers (for me at least). It would just be weird to leave them out because we throw parties together/hang out constantly as a group/talk every week, but all of a sudden I would split the group in two by not including them all. Of course, your mileage may vary! </div><div>
</div><div>My own situation obviously colors my opinion on the subject, I was merely trying to say that there are situations where making the cut wouldn't necessarily be easy or a good idea.</div><div>
</div><div>Edited to add: I 100% agree with you when the wedding is tiny and 25% of the guest list is at the altar.</div>

L-Bride · November 2010

We had a 19 person WP and I wouldn't have had it any other way. Our group was so much fun and they all told us that they had a blast. Our BMs and GM have also become friends with each other over the years so that definitely factored into the dynamic of the group.

I personally wanted every single girl that I chose for our WP with me before I walked down the aisle. I personally don't care if people have 30 people in their WP or zero. Who cares.

ETA: I do want to add that I do think it's strange to have a large WP with a small guest list. We had a big wedding.

Beachy730 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_heard-rumor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:75f1e306-9309-40ba-be97-21996097a8f0Post:a51ba49a-6cd4-48a2-abdf-5e18e2e70cc1">Re: i heard a rumor...</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's just a situational, personal thing. I am in a wedding in Feb. I have met the bride 5 times. It's BIL's wedding - I'm pretty sure she asked me since H is the BM. Do I think that's a little silly? Yep. But whatever. And I thought I was done being in weddings :)
Posted by kellyjellybelly[/QUOTE]

Ditto. We've compared our stories many times. I know I was only asked in BIL's wedding because FSIL has no sisters or other SIL's and she wanted to keep the numbers even. We've never hung out outside of family things, and even that has only been about 5 times. But whatever, its family so you can't so no.

kellyjellybelly · November 2010

I agree beachy, and that's why I tried to keep mine smaller. If we had done a big wedding at home with 300+ people, I am 99% sure I would have had more.

Steph0871 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_heard-rumor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:75f1e306-9309-40ba-be97-21996097a8f0Post:ef017be3-5570-4115-bb28-57d388e47a5e">Re: i heard a rumor...</a>:
[QUOTE]I irrationally dislike those people. Hard. I'm not even sure why it bugs me so much, but huge wedding parties have always rubbed me the wrong way.
Posted by ohwhynot[/QUOTE]

<div>Me too. I always feel like they're just trying to show off how many friends they have. I know that's not *really* the case probably, but that's why it rubs me the wrong way.</div><div>
</div><div>We had 3 on each side and it was perfect. I went to a wedding last year that had 14 on each side. It was kind of chaos to be honest.</div>

Birdie1483 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_heard-rumor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:75f1e306-9309-40ba-be97-21996097a8f0Post:d1b9e39f-75c8-45e8-8ad9-85d42bf2d7f8">Re: i heard a rumor...</a>:
[QUOTE]I would love to be done being in weddings. LOVE. IT. I'm so over it.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

I'm a weirdo and am sad that I've only been asked to be in my SIL's WP. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-undecided.gif" border="0" alt="Undecided" title="Undecided" /> Granted my good girl friends who would ask me haven't gotten married yet, but it's hard not to feel like a loser.

However, besides the whole size factor that would be involved if I asked the other girls in my particular group of friends that I mentioned previously, I also know many of them are getting tired of being in weddings. They would have accepted if I asked, but I think I kind of did them a favor by letting them just be a guest for mine. :)

i heard a rumor...

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