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So I've been thinking...

jagore08jagore08 member
Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
in Wedding Party
Where did the title "personal attendant" come from?  I have never in my life heard of this "title" and hearing about the "responsibilities" that are handed her it seems like it's a job (which it is) and not an honor.  I just want to know where this came from and what social circles is this common in.  In my circle people get paid for this.
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Re: So I've been thinking...

  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
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    I'd never heard of it before going on TK.  I can't imagine asking someone to do that as an "honor."  Definitely not a California thing.
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  • jagore08jagore08 member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Nor is it a Southern thing, at least not with my family and friends.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I'd never heard of it until here either.  It's just a way of conning your friend into working as your DOC for free.

    I just can't imagine ever thinking that would be an ok way to treat someone.
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  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited March 2010
    Not a South Jersey thing as I've never heard of it.  In fact, I'm still a little unclear as to what a "personal attendant" does...? 

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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
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    Joy, think a DOC.  That is essentially what a PA is.  Except the PA is a friend who does so for free under the guise of it being an honor.
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  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
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    I've never heard of it until the Knot (I'm from the metro NYC area).
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  • leeshab1982leeshab1982 member
    500 Comments
    I'm from the Detroit area and I've never heard of a PA before coming on here.  We hired a DOC.  I can't imagine asking a friend or family member to do the things that the DOC will be doing, especially without pay. 
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  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_ive-thinking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:56aab9c4-4503-468f-bc9e-168b83c0d707Post:c87e3109-4713-4b06-8d91-5558c520477b">Re: So I've been thinking...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Joy, think a DOC.  That is essentially what a PA is.  Except the PA is a friend who does so for free under the guise of it being an honor.
    Posted by bablingbrooke[/QUOTE]

    Huh.  I was thinking it was the person who had to carry around the bride's "emergency" kit and hold her dress in the bathroom :)

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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Haha.  That too.  But I can't imagine asking someone to do that.  My BMs volunteered to do stuff like that, probably because I didn't assign them sh!t jobs during our engagement.
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  • TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    I'm from upstate NY, living in LA, and I had never heard of it before TK. BUT I went to FI's cousin's wedding in Iowa and the bride had 2 PAs. FI asked what they were and I told him it was a made up job for people you want in the wedding but don't want to ask to be BMs.
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    North Jersey, and never heard of a PA until I encountered some of the quite entitled beebees that post on the Knot.  I'm thinking another invention of the wedding industry......
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • mags0607mags0607
    1000 Comments
    I'm from New Orleans, and have heard a lot about personal attendants. Of course, these are people from the reception venue that will be paid to tell me when to come in, cut the cake, to grab me wine/food/cake, and do whatever I need. I would never even consider asking someone I had invited to be my guest at a wedding to do this for free as an "honor." Who really does this?
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  • emilykathleen511emilykathleen511
    1000 Comments Fifth Anniversary
    I think it is a Mid-West thing. I had definitely heard of it before the knot. Yeah, we're a little strange up here in the Mid-West. We also commonly have partially hosted bars and cash bars. That being said, I definitely hadn't heard of it much and I think it is much more common in rural areas than in the big cities.
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  • CTGirl30CTGirl30
    1000 Comments
    I am on the east coast (Connecticut) and have never heard of this concept of asking friends to be a personal attendant before The Knot, either. 
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  • skippylouwhoskippylouwho member
    1000 Comments
    I'm from Ohio, tons of relatives in Illinois - and I've not heard of it either so it might be regions of the Midwest have adopted it but I haven't seen it in these parts.
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  • FutureMrsBoucherFutureMrsBoucher member
    500 Comments

    When I was a kid, I was really into reading historical books about princesses and queens. When they got married, they had ladies that would personally attend to the royal bride, and it would make sense to me that the title would carry over in tradition of "personal attendent." Not that the "title" means, or should mean, particular responsibilities, it's just another way of saying BM, IMO.

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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Yeah but the queen's or princess's servants got paid for all that work.  So should modern PAs.
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  • jagore08jagore08 member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_ive-thinking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:56aab9c4-4503-468f-bc9e-168b83c0d707Post:e8de84e0-9925-4b22-91fd-72b09bbc8f1f">Re: So I've been thinking...</a>:
    [QUOTE]When I was a kid, I was really into reading historical books about princesses and queens. When they got married, <strong>they had ladies that would personally attend to the royal bride</strong>, and it would make sense to me that the title would carry over in tradition of "personal attendent." Not that the "title" means, or should mean, particular responsibilities, <strong>it's just another way of saying BM, IMO</strong>.
    Posted by FutureMrsBoucher[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>1. They were ROYAL.  I don't know of any girls here on the knot that are from royal blood lines.  </div><div>
    </div><div>2. It's not another way of saying BM or they would be called a BM.  It's more of a way of getting someone to do something you should pay for for free and then giving them a "title" so they feel special about doing the work.  </div><div>
    </div><div>3. Where are all the girls on here that post about this?  Where are the girls that say they have a "personal attendant" to come defend this ridiculousness?  Come out, come out where ever you are!</div>
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  • LarissaAnnLarissaAnn member
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    I'd never heard of it being a friend before.  My wedding venue (and it's the same with all of the all-inclusive type venues here as far as I can tell) assigned me one of their employees as my Bridal Attendant.  My sis had the same thing at her venue years ago.  I'd never think to assign that to a friend.
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