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Christian-Muslim Wedding

jllynch8jllynch8 member
in Interfaith Weddings
My fiance and I are trying to figure out how we can incorporate both of our religions into the wedding ceremony. Right now it's mostly a traditional christian layout with the officiant and my father giving me away. My fiance tells me that there isn't much to a Muslim ceremony, but I'd really like to incorporate his religion into the ceremony somehow too! Has anyone dealt with this or is dealing with this?
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Re: Christian-Muslim Wedding

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    ycjackycjack
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm also having a Christian-Muslim wedding. My fiance's father is an Imam and we plan to have his father and my uncle, who is a Minister, do a joint ceremony. From what I've learned, there is not much to a Muslim ceremony. However, we plan to have them read verses from both the Bible and Koran.

    We are also both African American and I just learned (thanks to The Knot!) about the sharing of a Kola nut, which symbolizes fertility. The nut is customarily done by African Muslims and shared among family members during the ceremony. You can keep the nut in your home as a reminder of healing for any problems that you and your spouse may face.

    I hope this is helpful. Good luck!!
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    cuccioneccuccionec
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We're having a Christian-Muslim wedding. A little complicated as my famiy is Italian and his is Indian/African. We're doing a separate official ceremony at the mosque approx. the weekend before our reception. The day of the reception we are having an outdoor ceremony where my father will give me away and we will have readings both from the Bible and the Quran. Hope this helps! Also, during the reception, my husband to be will be quoting the Bible in his thank you speech and I will quote the Quran in mine to sort of represent the acceptance of each other's faiths. Also, during the reception we have a room set up for evening prayers.
    QUESTION: Are either of you serving alcohol at your reception? We're not planning on it, and its a little bit of an issue with my family. Just wondering if anyone is in the same boat?





     
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    jinjooyajinjooya
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We are also trying to plan a Muslim-Christian wedding and from what my fiance has told me, yes, Muslim ceremonies are quite simple.  But the thing that makes things really "different" is the cultural aspect of the ceremony.  Where is your fiance's family from?  My fiance is Bengali and Bengali Muslim weddings are different than Indonesian or Pakistani Muslim weddings, for example.  So, you'll have to look at where your fiance's family is from in order to see how you can make the Muslim portion of the wedding reflect your fiance's culture.  (And if your fiance is Bengali, let me know.  We just got engaged a week ago and we're going to meet up with his parents to discuss stuff on Tuesday.)  :) 
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    xfergyxxfergyx
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_interfaith-weddings_christian-muslim-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:396Discussion:da737ebd-9d86-47aa-9092-208d9fcd65e4Post:d8986cf3-901d-4564-89bb-4eb4d43650e8">Re: Christian-Muslim Wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]We are also trying to plan a Muslim-Christian wedding and from what my fiance has told me, yes, Muslim ceremonies are quite simple.  But the thing that makes things really "different" is the cultural aspect of the ceremony.  Where is your fiance's family from?  My fiance is Bengali and Bengali Muslim weddings are different than Indonesian or Pakistani Muslim weddings, for example.  So, you'll have to look at where your fiance's family is from in order to see how you can make the Muslim portion of the wedding reflect your fiance's culture.  (And if your fiance is Bengali, let me know.  We just got engaged a week ago and we're going to meet up with his parents to discuss stuff on Tuesday.)  :) 
    Posted by jinjooya[/QUOTE]

    I agree, I think it matters more where he is from as traditions seem to vary geographically. My FI is Muslim and from Eastern Europe and their weddings are fairly similar to ours with a few variarions.
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    teefsteefs member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm getting married in 4 weeks. My Fiance is Italian Catholic and I'm a Muslim myself. I'm having a very VERY difficult time finding an Imam to officiate the Nikka ceremony which is really important to me and family. Does anyone know of an Imam that can help me out? So far the wedding is mostly centered around an Italian wedding.

    Thanks
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    adrenalina19adrenalina19
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm Spanish and my fiance is Arab, we're both Muslim (I converted) and we're not supposed to have alcohol BUT my family is having a huge issue with that. So we're trying to think of a compromise- maybe have a bar outside the reception area where people who want to drink want to go...we're still trying to figure that out. What are you doing music-wise? I'm having  a hard time thinking of how we're going to mix such different music...
    BabyFetus Ticker
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    jenjenctjenjenct member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My fiance is Turkish, which is a very secular country. His family is semi-religious, but he isnt. They are all in Turkey and he is here. None of them will be able to attend the wedding. I am Irish catholic. We are getting married by a JP but we will include some readings from the bible as well as some traditional Irish blessings. Id really like to find a reading from the Koran - any suggestions? We may also do a handfasting which ias a Celtic/Wiccan thing, and also popular in Turkey.
    We are getting married in 9 days.

    Thanks!
    Jen
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    juliebp85juliebp85
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm in the same situation! I'm Catholic and my fiance in Muslim... we're having a Catholic ceremony, and had hoped to have an imam be a part of this, but we're having trouble with that. We're likely going to have the Catholic ceremony and the reception, and then go to the mosque to validate our marriage there the following Friday. Does anyone have other suggestions about finding a way to bring the imam into the celebration on our actual wedding day?? The local imam said he's not willing to marry a Catholic to a Muslim since we're in a country where Islam is a minority...and my fiance should apparently marry a Muslim girl (even though it's allowed to marry 'people of the book'!) Grr!!!

    cuccionec!  Also, great thought to incorporate readings from both the Koran and the Bible in each other's thank you speeches! 

    About the alcohol: we're facing similar resistance, interestingly mostly from the wedding party than family lol... We've decided to have a completely dry wedding...and at the end of the day it's most important for US to be comfortable & know we're being true to our respective religious traditions on our wedding day. Since alcohol is against Islam, why would you want to make your fiance uneasy on his own day? That's the way I see it anyways. Guests need to realize that this is a decision founded on respect for religion and find a way to enjoy the night without drinks!
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    OanaGezimOanaGezim member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hi! I have a question to the Catholic brides: how can you marry in church with your fiance since the Catholic chucrch does not allow marriages with people of other religions? I am an Orthodox Christian, and face this issue, the church does not allow the marriage unless he converts. So what can I do??!
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    SafNAlSafNAl
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hi, I am a muslim woman about to marry a great christian man. I appreciate all the information that is being shared here regarding the ceremony.  As for liquor being served, I am not planning to have liquor.  My family does not have an issue about it. Because my ceremony will include children I do not want anyone drinking and driving from my ceremony.
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    juliebp85juliebp85
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    OanaGezim: I just saw your question. I'm a Catholic bride marrying a Muslim man & I don't know about Orthodox Catholics, but for Roman Catholics, the Catechism of the Catholic Church says the following:

    1635According to the law in force in the Latin Church, a mixed marriage needs for liceity the express permission of ecclesiastical authority.137 In case of disparity of cult [**that's you--one baptized & one unbaptized person] an express dispensation from this impediment is required for the validity of the marriage.138 This permission or dispensation presupposes that both parties know and do not exclude the essential ends and properties of marriage; and furthermore that the Catholic party confirms the obligations, which have been made known to the non-Catholic party, of preserving his or her own faith and ensuring the baptism and education of the children in the Catholic Church.139(See http://www.usccb.org/catechism/text/pt2sect2chpt3art7.shtmlfor more excerpts from the Cateshism)

    We're getting married in the Catholic church, and received the dispensation to marry even though only one of us (myself) is baptized. We had to sign a bunch of paperwork and from my end, I had to promise to do "everything within my power" to bring our children up in the Catholic faith. My fiance signed promising that he would not interfere with my practicing the Catholic faith. He does not have to convert...although this would be a wonderful thing if he chose to do so!

    Hope this helps! Best of luck to you! :)
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    Riss91Riss91 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_interfaith-weddings_christian-muslim-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:396Discussion:da737ebd-9d86-47aa-9092-208d9fcd65e4Post:6509993e-33b2-46dd-8b3f-a6d6ad780071">Re: Christian-Muslim Wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi! I have a question to the Catholic brides: how can you marry in church with your fiance since the Catholic chucrch does not allow marriages with people of other religions? I am an Orthodox Christian, and face this issue, the church does not allow the marriage unless he converts. So what can I do??!
    Posted by OanaGezim[/QUOTE]

    Just letting you know that this is simply not true. A Catholic can marry anyone they'd like, of any religion, even atheists. You might be confused with the Catholic Church's rule that you may not have your wedding ceremony in another religion if you want it to be considered a valid Catholic marriage. You can only have one religious ceremony, and it needs to be Catholic and take place in a Catholic Church (in most cases).  

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    MsTee0129MsTee0129
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    islamicly a muslim man may marry a woman of the book....but not the other way around....even though im sure it happens....its hard to marry with two different faiths...because islamicly if the father is muslim the children r muslim....and for jews and catholics if the mother is jewish or catholic...then the children r....anyway....im marrying a muslim man...who most of his fam is christian...im muslim....my delimma...is 1. he wants 6-8 groomsmen/bridesmaids....i always thought i would have bridesmaids...cause im not traditional...but not that many...and then there is 2. the alochol....my fam and friends know im muslim and i hightly doubt they would expect alocholic beverages....but he says his fam and friends expect it....dont know what to do....im like that money could b spent some where else....
    Prophet Muhammad(pbuh)said:"Nikah(marriage)is my Sunnah. He/She who shuns my Sunnah is not of me.?
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    satkinson06satkinson06
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am Christian and my fiance is Afghan-Muslim.  A wedding is a celebration of 2 people coming together and uniting as one in marriage.  I believe this should especially hold true when you are uniting in interfaith.  It is important to remember in this union that you should learn to live together with appreciation of both religious background and customs.  For that reason, I think you should start by combining both ceremonies and traditions into one--as a representation of you both coming together.  We are having a combined wedding cermony--incorporating the Islamic Nikah into a traditional American cermony with 2 officiants (one from each faith).  We plan to use traditions from both cultures, as well as, perform readings from both the Bible and Qur'an. 

    In Afghan culture, it is customary for the bride to wear a green dress.  To keep with this tradition, we will change into traditional Afghan clothing immediately following pictures after the ceremony.  We will then enter into the reception in the custom Afghan fashion, perform a few Afghan dances/Islamic traditions, and eat dinner.  Then, we are changing back into our American wedding attire and entering back into the reception with our wedding party to perform our first dance and start the "partying" portion of the reception.  Throughout the night, we will play a wide array of music to cater to everyone's likeness. 

    We have decided that we are going to provide alcohol at our wedding for those guests (primarily from my side of the family) who prefer to drink.  The bar will be set up in a back corner to be kept more discrete.  Again, when joining together two cultures/religions, it is important to incorporate customs from both backgrounds--especially when guests are involved.  Anyone who chooses to attend our wedding already knows in advance that both cultures will be represented.  I think thats the beauty of it and what will make our union very special.

    It is important to be respective of all of your guests and their beliefs, but also important to make sure that one side is not "out-shining" the other.  At the end of the day, it is about you and your spouse to be.  It is the way that you choose to spend your day and should be a reflection of the two of you as a couple.  Decide what the two of you want to incorporate and what you do not.  After all, this will be the first day of the rest of your lives together.  Especially when coming together in an interfath, make sure its about compromise!!
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    amberwedamberwed member
    First Comment
    Can any one receommend an Imam that can perform interfaith Nikah for a muslim woman marrying a christian man? I am having a hard time finding one. Help! Anyone?
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    amberwedamberwed member
    First Comment
    Did you find someone to officiate your wedding? I am in Dallas and muslim marrying a Christian man. We decided to do a muslim ceremony, nikah, But cant find an officiant /imam that will do it. Any ideas?
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    missshareef11missshareef11
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_interfaith-weddings_christian-muslim-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:396Discussion:da737ebd-9d86-47aa-9092-208d9fcd65e4Post:553196ab-dbf6-4eb8-bcc0-fe2882920c31">Re: Christian-Muslim Wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi, I am a muslim woman about to marry a great christian man. I appreciate all the information that is being shared here regarding the ceremony.  As for liquor being served, I am not planning to have liquor.  My family does not have an issue about it. Because my ceremony will include children I do not want anyone drinking and driving from my ceremony.
    Posted by SafNAl[/QUOTE]

    i thought a muslim woman could not marry anything other than a muslim man...
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    alisonlilypintoalisonlilypinto member
    First Comment
    I'm having the same type of wedding but there will be alcohol served as long as it isn't on the grooms side and the bar is towards the door they didn't have an issue
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    tazzy4gramtazzy4gram
    First Comment
    Hi, im getting married really SOON, in 2 weeks. im a muslim girl and my fiance is christian. The only option for us is to get married in Court, because my muslim family is totally against me being with a christian, they dont even know that we getting married!

    We would like to have something afterwards. i need suggestions please help.
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    413lani413lani
    First Comment

    All of your responses have been very helpful. :) I myself, Christian and he is Muslim, our biggest issue we're having is with the reception. His family traditions normally have the reception separate. I know that will not be enjoyable for me or my family members. IDK What to do! :/

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    eshatateshatat member
    First Comment
    How is your family taking it?
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    MariaBend25MariaBend25 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    I just had a Catholic/Muslim wedding. We read from both the Bible and the Qu'ran, using the format of a traditional Christian wedding. Our location was outside in a garden so as to not be specifically bringing any one religion into the ceremony. As for the reception, we got a VIP alcohol package since the majority of people there were my family. His parents, from the middle east, did not mind the alcohol, but it was amusing that they thought people were really "funny" when in fact they were drunk. We used mostly traditional American wedding music with an Arabic song. We used Qu'ran chapter 30, verse 21: And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.
    In all, do what is best for you, don't let nay-sayers kill your wedding, it is ultimately for the TWO of you, and no one else. Everyone there is there to celebrate YOUR wedding. So stick to your guns about your joint decisions and best of luck!
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    joannemariedjoannemaried member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I'm having a Catholic/Muslim wedding. We are getting married in a Catholic Church first, then having a nikkah at an outdoor ceremony space a few hours later. (Yes, lots of outfit changes!) We are just going to have bible verses read from the Qu'ran and blessings done by an imam. More like a cultural ceremony since his mother (not father) practices Islam. I'm Catholic, my fiancé is non-baptized, but practices Catholicism. Quite complicated, but all of us (including all parents) reached an agreement how, when, which is first, to be performed. Since, I am the Bride, and we practice Catholicism and will raise our kids Catholic, it's important to us to have a valid marriage under the Church. The only trouble we have is finding an imam to do an interfaith nikkah ceremony. Worst, comes to worse (getting rejected/denied/judged by the center), we'll have our best friend who is Muslim to do the ceremony and have it like a cultural ceremony. As long as there is a combination of both our cultures and religions, and one valid marriage ceremony, then we'll be happy.  Oh, and we're having open bar ;) 
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