FI sister

shamaingtz · April 2010

Well I need your advice I dont know if I should include FI sister in the w party We dont really talk and when she found out of the wedding she got a little jealous I mean she hasnt been the nicest but I cant be mean I dont know whether to include her or not

suz62984 · April 2010

Ask your Fi if he wants her included. If so, what position. If you don't want her as part of the WP maybe you should ask her to do a reading.

xoxob · April 2010

I intend on asking my FSIL in to be a BM. But, she has become like my own sister.

If your FI wants her in the WP, she could always stand on his side.

saxy414 · April 2010

Talk to your FI about that one. If you aren't particularly close to her, you aren't obligated to ask her to be a BM. She could stand with your FI, or do a reading, or if she's musically inclined, she could sing or play something.

But, if your future in laws will get upset and possibly cause drama, it's generally easier in the long run to include her. They're going to be your family for a long time, and it's a good idea to start that relationship off on the right foot.

mbcdefg · April 2010

Consider what will cause more drama in your life ... having her be a BM, or dealing with hard feelings with her (and maybe your other in-laws) for a long time afterward. Her role as a BM is one day, but your membership in their family will be for a lifetime.

All she has to do is get the dress and stand there for the ceremony and some photos (and if she does extra then that's awesome), so I don't see why that would be a hassle.

I think that siblings ought to be included unless there's a very good reason not to include them. And IMO, "I'm not that close to her" is not a good enough reason to leave her out. Your wedding is about you and FI joining each other's families, and I don't think that excluding a sibling starts that union off on the right foot.

Or, like PPs said, another option is to have her wear a black dress and stand as your FI's attendant. And your own brothers and sisters can be yours. The decision to include or exclude her should be up to your FI ... but even if it's FI's decision to exclude her as a bridesmaid, please remember that most people will still pin the blame on you for it. Are you prepared for that? It's fine if you are, but please at least consider it.

CA2MT4EveR · April 2010

Your name reminds me of shazam.

And for future reference on the boards, please use punctuation and better grammar. It makes for ease of reading and more serious answers by people.

I don't think people should automatically include family if they are not close to them. I think this is a decision only you and your FI can make.

shamaingtz · April 2010

Well your the first complaining and if you can't understand what Im saying then don't reply to me. Don't waist your time and make such a big deal about it.I dont think my GRAMMER and PUNCUATION have anything to do with how serious Im responded OH and Im glad I remind you of something. Makes me feel important

aerinpegadrak · April 2010

Honey, all you have to go by here is your words. If you don't take those seriously, people won't take you seriously. CA2MT may have been the first person to call you out on it, but we were all thinking it.

And it's "grammar" and "punctuation". There's a spell check button at the bottom of the posting window, just to the left of the smiley face.

CA2MT4EveR · April 2010

Thank you aerin!

saxy414 · April 2010

Yes, as soon as I read what CA2MT wrote, I thought "woohooo!"

It just makes reading a little easier for everyone. :-)

shamaingtz · April 2010

I thought this was to help each other out not call each other out.

You have issues if your worried about the way I spell. Like I said dont REPLY

shamaingtz · April 2010

This is my first day. Give me a break ladies!

blackfire5th · April 2010

Why are you so defensive about grammar?

CA2MT4EveR · April 2010

I didn't think I was too mean. I answered your question and gave you advice on how to use the boards.

tidetravel · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_fi-sister?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:a913b1fc-c64f-41b2-9b78-e2688538f5dfPost:136706e1-c79a-4185-9f89-a678f884e3a5">Re: FI sister</a>:
[QUOTE]Well your the first complaining and if you can't understand what Im saying then don't reply to me. Don't waist your time and make such a big deal about it.I dont think my GRAMMER and PUNCUATION have anything to do with how serious Im responded OH and Im glad I remind you of something. Makes me feel important
Posted by shamaingtz[/QUOTE]

Defensive much? No one was mean to you.

Using proper punctuation and spelling is important on a message board. Without it, your posts read like this:

Wellyourthefirstcomplainingandifyoucan'tunderstandwhatimsayingthendontreplytome

See how difficult that is to read? There is a handy spell check device at the bottom of the posting box to help you, in case spelling isn't your strong point (guilty!) or english isn't your first language.

It would benefit you because if your posts continue to be hard to read, people WON'T reply, and then you won't get the answers to your questions, so you'd be cutting off you nose to spite your face.

shamaingtz · April 2010

I understand it's easier to read for everybody,but I don't think it should be a big deal. If you understand what Im saying. Nobody's PERFECT!

CA2MT4EveR · April 2010

Another THING is you don't need to SHOUT random words here and THERE.
It IS a BIG deal!

tidetravel · April 2010

A spelling error here and there isn't a big deal and posters generally don't get called out for it. However, when you write a opening post without periods, commas or capitlization, it is difficult to read. CAT obviously knew you were new, and was simply informing you of proper netiquette. You're the one making this into a big deal. A simple, "Hey, sorry. I'm new here" would have been sufficent.

And since you're new, (and prone to take offense to critiques), I highly suggest you read the stickies at the top of the board and lurk to get a feeling for the different boards.

blackfire5th · April 2010

On a message board where the written language is the only form of communication, grammar and punctuation IS a big deal.

You're right, no one is perfect, but why are you so defensive about this?

emilyinchile · April 2010

OP, you yourself say it's your first day. Great! People are trying to give you advice on not only the question you asked but also how to "do well" in the future here - that includes getting good responses and, if you'd like, forming relationships with people. Both of those things are more likely to happen if you type in a way that makes reading your posts less frustrating. No one is being mean to you, it's constructive criticism.

MyNameIsNot · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_fi-sister?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a913b1fc-c64f-41b2-9b78-e2688538f5dfPost:1b9b26a7-e0ed-4e30-9ca8-0e0907a12dd9">Re: FI sister</a>:
[QUOTE]I understand it's easier to read for everybody,but I don't think it should be a big deal. If you understand what Im saying. Nobody's PERFECT!
Posted by shamaingtz[/QUOTE]

<div>I would have helped, but I couldn't understand what you were saying in your OP. </div>

Jartiaga07 · April 2010

My FI sister is one of my bridesmaids, her and I never got along. But to aviod problems for both myslef and my FI I asked her to be a BM. It's a little diffcult, but my FI is there to help. And I feel you with you FSIL being jealous, so was mine. She actually told him not to marry me and she didn't want to go when he proposed but she did anyways, for him. They were very close growing up and I when I came into the picture she was no longer his closest friend so she got jealous and disliked me and put a dent in her relationship with my FI. But I am very close to my MIL, so I have help dealing with my FSIL.

I say yes, she'll appreciate it and it could even help your relationship : )

FI sister

Re: FI sister

Choose Another Board

Search Boards