Torn between two dresses!! Long post...Help, please

Cleo7 · July 2010

After reading this board for a while, I've realized that my problem isn't a unique one! I love 2 dresses, for very different reasons, and I can't decide which one to go with.

When I started shopping for my gown, I thought I wanted a different colored one (non-ivory, non-white). My mom and sisters thought I should try on some traditional bridal gowns just to make sure, so I did. Of all the bridal gowns I tried on, there was only one that I loved - I remember thinking when I tried it on "wow, this is what you should feel like in your bridal gown!" but...it was ivory, so I kept looking.

this is it:

I later found a green (prom) dress that I really liked on an after-prom sale, it was the only one left, the store told me they couldn't order another, so I got it. But, when I tried it on at home the next day, I started having second thoughts. In the sunlight, it looked more reddish or copper than green - and we're having a mostly outdoor wedding! And, I didn't really think it was as flattering on me as I had thought in the store.

here it is, front and back:

I've been trying to convince myself that the green (or red? or copper?) dress will be alright, that it's normal to have second thoughts, etc. etc. But I was looking through the pics my sister took of me in it, and I guess I can't say that I love it. I kept thinking about how I felt when I tried on the ivory dress in the pic above, so I went back to try it on again and felt that same Wow! feeling (even though it's ivory).

When I told my sister/MOH I was having 2nd thoughts about the green dress, she said that when she looked at most of the pics we took of it, she didn't think it was as flattering as others I had tried on, but since she thought I loved it, she didn't want to spoil it for me. Meanwhile, my mom is saying that while she loves the ivory dress on me, she wants to make sure I don't regret going with a traditional ivory dress.

Opinions? Suggestions? BTW - I won't go over my budget if I decide to get the ivory dress (it's on sale now, I got the green one on sale - even buying both at full price would have been within budget - but I don't want to wear 2 dresses at the wedding). A friend of mine works at the salon where the ivory dress is and assures me I can get it in time for my wedding.

Thanks for your help!

opalsky007 · July 2010

I love color on brides who decide to rock it. But if you're having second thoughts now, I can almost guarantee you're going to regret not wearing a more traditional dress. Go with your gut.

Lisa8888 · July 2010

I prefer the regular wedding dress on you.

twilight.rose · July 2010

Could you use the colored one as a reception dress? Then you wouldn't have to choose, and wouldn't regret not wearing either dress.

unplainjane · July 2010

when you describe the green dress you say you liked it and bought it because it was on sale and was the last one. i don't think you love it. the first dress is beautiful and realy suits you. i do like colored wedding gowns but i'm not nuts about that green dress. for some reason i've had 2 friends that wore colored dresses. they both picked a red tea length classy dresses and they looked great. i say keep looking.

emilyainternational · July 2010

I am a Bridal Stylist in the Houston area. After reading your story it seems that you are really more interested in the Ivory gown, You can always purchase a sash/ribbon to add a pop of color to the gown. There are many companies that have beaded sashes in multiple colors. If you need any additional help you can contact me at emilyacouture@aol.com.

dizzinea · July 2010

i adore the green dress! love it on you! i think it straight up does more for your shape and skin tone then the traditional dress

dannag75 · July 2010

i say to go with your gut.. and go with the dress you absolutely love. The good thing is the green is great on you - and you can find a way to wear it -- if not at your wedding. Take some time and think about it.

I started with a not so traditional color -- and had 2nd thoughts and ignored them until the last minute. I did end up getting a new dress and wish I had saved myself some agonizing

desert*bride · July 2010

I love the shape and fit of the green dress - but not so much the color. I don't mind the green... but the way the light hits it makes it look funny like you were saying.

It sounds to me like you like the first dress a lot more. The shape of it with the halter and the high back makes it very much not traditional. so I think you could still have the unique feel even though it's ivory. However, don't limit yourself! it's not like these are the only two dresses in the world. You might still be able to find something that matches exactly what you are looking for.

Belle2Be · July 2010

The Wow feeling gets the win

jwang517 · July 2010

wear ivory one for ceremony and the other for reception. or use the colored one's color as an accents to your ivory dress (like a sash)... im having two dresses, one ivory long, one ivory tea-length with black sash and black accessories for reception... trust me, having two dress at a wedding is fun~ and u can wear both: one shows a more traditional side of the weding and another shows who you are!

Cleo7 · July 2010

Thanks for all the help so far! I still haven't decided, but you have all given me some things to consider. I thought about maybe wearing both of them, but our wedding isn't super-formal, and I think two all-out gowns would be overkill.

My biggest worry with the green dress is not knowing for sure what color it will appear on the day of or in our pics - if I knew it would look mostly green, I wouldn't be concerned. But if it winds up looking mostly reddish or copper, I think I'd be disappointed. Our photographer is a friend of my mom's, and said she'd be willing to do a "trial run" with the dress if it would help me feel more confident in it, and I think I might take her up on that.

I really like the fit of the greenish dress in this pic, but don't like the color it looks in the sun!

antimony · July 2010

If you have time, maybe keep looking for more colored dresses? It sounds like you'd regret not going non-traditional, but that the green dress really isn't doing what you want. (I love the color-changing effect it has in the sun, myself, and think the shape is much more flattering on you, but dresses are such a personal choice. And you might not know what it'll look like until the day of, since how sunny it is will matter.)

Cleo7 · July 2010

I don't think I have time, the wedding is September 18th! I think I'm going to take my photographer up on her offer to do a trial run with the green dress.

staceytaylor0704 · July 2010

I like the ivory-its a beautiful, unique style and it looks really good on you. The green doesn't say wedding to me, it says prom.:(

Cleo7 · July 2010

@ staceytaylor0704 I'm glad you said that...the dress is MUCH less "prom-y" than many that I looked at, but still...it is what it is! I've been wondering if the pics of FI and I would look more like prom shots than wedding photos.

Knittibell · July 2010

I love the ivory! And you know, you can still add color with a dyed crinoline or some really cool colored heels, a bright silk flower in your hair, etc... have your more traditional dress and still have a "surprise" of color. I don't dislike the colored dress, but am not a fan of the red/copper (green is my fave color). I also think the ivory dress is more flattering on you. JMO.

Cleo7 · July 2010

Knittibell - I have a pair of super cute peep-toe heels in clover green that I'd wear with the ivory dress. I also have a sash in the same clover green that I'd have my flower girl wear with her white dress. The bridal salon consultant made me try on a veil with the ivory dress - I know that I'm NOT doing that, but I like the idea of a green flower!

I feel like so many other details fall into place more easily and match my overall vision for our wedding when I imagine myself in the ivory dress, rather than the green one. And...my gut tells me that FI will LOVE the ivory dress, and only kinda like the green one.

Knittibell · July 2010

Cleo7 · July 2010

Wow! thanks for all those links! I love, love, LOVE the green rhinestone bracelet! wow! I don't think I'll wear a necklace with the ivory dress because I don't want to take away from the high collar/cool halter neckline. But faux emerald bracelet and earrings? Perfection. And I agree that little accents of green against the ivory gown will probably have more of an impact than the green/burgundy dress.

I know that the green dress isn't a kelly or clover green. The manufacuturer calls it "hollyberry" and in any of the pics I've seen of it online, it actually looks more silvery than anything. I just don't think I want to spend my wedding day worrying about what color it will appear in any given lighting, or not loving my photos (for the rest of my life) because the dress didn't appear to be the right color.

Knittibell · July 2010

The bracelet is my favorite, too. Maybe if you have a special occasion between now and then, or as a wedding gift, (if budget allows), you could ask fi for a simple pair of emerald studs, which would be gorgeous.

http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=434418&CategoryID=21228

http://www.bluenile.com/gemstone-jewelry/gemstone-earrings?track=image&oid1=2322

I also would skip a necklace and do a bracelet, earrings and something in your hair.

I totally know what you mean about the color change factor, and really, I think it would not be a great fit, because of it. If any of your photos are taken in sunlight, or with a flash, you're going to end up with that copper color. The green dress also does look a bit too much like a prom dress to me, but again, just being honest.

I cannot WAIT to see your wedding photos!!

Cleo7 · July 2010

Thanks again, everyone. The ivory dress it is. Hopefully I'll have some sort of formal event to attend in the next year or so, because I'd love to have a reason to wear the green dress. I feel excited to think of looking at our photos now, instead of nervous that the dress might be the wrong color. We're having our wedding in a state park, so ALL of our photos will be taken in sunlight (hopefully!).

BTW - Knittibel - is that a sapphire E-ring?

Knittibell · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_torn-between-two-dresses-long-posthelp-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:9b0c3f15-901e-44a3-bf48-635c0e9f6c2bPost:94da111f-6583-4091-ab2d-e3829d5333ae">Re: Torn between two dresses!! Long post...Help, please</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks again, everyone. The ivory dress it is. Hopefully I'll have some sort of formal event to attend in the next year or so, because I'd love to have a reason to wear the green dress. I feel excited to think of looking at our photos now, instead of nervous that the dress might be the wrong color. <strong> We're having our wedding in a state park, so ALL of our photos will be taken in sunlight (</strong>hopefully!). BTW - Knittibel - is that a sapphire E-ring?
Posted by Cleo7[/QUOTE]

And that's the best reason to go with the ivory. I'm sure you'll find some occasion to wear that dress- it does look lovely on you!!

Yes, it's a sapphire! I really wanted something with color, and originally I wanted something green, my favorite color. I had my heart set on Tsavorite, or possibly an emerald, but in the end, after much research and talking with the jeweler and a friend who has a green tourmaline and after 2 years is looking to replace it with a sapph because of scratching, we decided to go with a sapphire. :)

Cleo7 · July 2010

Your ring is gorgeous! We were looking at sapphires, but FI's grandmother gave him her diamond to give to me. Down the road, I want to get a wrap or have it re-set w/ sapphire side stones because I think they're gorgeous.

Knittibell · July 2010

Oh, I think it's wonderful you have a diamond with such family history! Did you choose your wedding bands yet? My best friend got a really pretty antique diamond ring, and then had a band made with little sapphires and diamonds that complimented the design of the e-ring.

I must admit the blue is growing on me. I love how it looks like a completely different color in every light. I wanted a really dark stone, but the jewler talked me out of the really, really dark ones- he said they don't make them in the larger sizes because they're not as high quality, which I kind of doubt (that they don't cut them), and I pointed out to him I wasn't looking for something to re-sell down the line! (LOL!). But in the end we finally found a stone fi and I both really loved. My original engagement ring was a peridot I had seen and admired. Paul went back and bought it and took it to Spain for the proposal, telling me it was a placeholder. I was really sad when I learned that the peridot would not hold up well as an e-ring... but I now have that same peridot in a simple pendant I wear all the time.

Cleo7 · July 2010

We already have our bands, we got them very shortly after getting engaged because we had originally planned to either elope or have a simple town hall ceremony. I wound up getting a thin, plain, white gold band. I tried on a bunch of different options, and really wanted sapphires, but nothing looked quite right. I found an enhancer with sapphires that I loved, but we camp and fish and do outdoorsy things a lot, and I know I won't wear the e-ring for that, and the enhancer would look funny on its own. So, a plain band was best!

You got engaged in Spain? wow - that's exciting!

skelle12 · July 2010

You should go with the white/or ivory one...you might regret it if you don't. I think that one is much more flattering on you and the colored dress might not work as well for an outdoor celebration.

Knittibell · July 2010

My friend had the same problem, which is why she ended up having one made. But you can't go wrong with a simple band!

We did get engaged in Spain! I did an exchange in HS, and am still really close to the girl whose wedding it was. It was my 3rd trip there, but my fi had never been, so we rented a car and traveled around for about a week, then attended the wedding, which was amazing.

ashaffer12410 · July 2010

I vote Ivory, I think the dress looks amazing on you and after all this you still get the wow feeling.. WIth your wedding being outside the light will change the green dress many variations and althought it is very pretty I think that the Ivory one makes you look stunning and if you still want tha splash of color at a sash or get funky shoes... do some accessorizing.. that is almost as much fun as having the perfect dress.. If this still isnt what your looking for.. Keep looking!
When I got my wedding dress, I didnt want sparkles or glitz I wanted a rouched dress with straps and no train... I ended up with I glitzy sparkly non rouched cathedral trained dress. heres a picture

Cleo7 · July 2010

ashaffer12410- your dress is great! I love the way the beading on the back of the bodice makes a heart. There's just something about your dress that seems *perfect* for a winter wedding! I agree that accessorizing is half the fun! I'm already more excited about choosing accessories for the ivory dress than I ever was for the green/red one.

Torn between two dresses!! Long post...Help, please

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