No longer doing FB updates about the wedding

mrshall1027 · February 2012

I think theknot ate my first post so hopefully this doesn't show up twice...

A day or so ago, someone posted that they received a message from a friend on FB after they updated about sending out their STD's and this friend asked where theres was. Extremely rude!

Well, yesterday I did a status update of "8 months until our wedding!" and someone that I haven't spoken to since HS commented "If you would like to invite us, we will be more than happy to come." Well, of course this person isn't invited as I haven't spoken to them in over ten years! I know this isn't as bad of a comment, but it's still somewhat rude and I am not even going to respond.

So, this along with PP experience, has made me think, should I not post anymore status updates about the wedding to avoid potentially awkward situations?

mana8503 · February 2012

I haven't posted anything on FB about the wedding besides we were engaged. Wait, no I said I was wedding dress shopping once. My mom posts things, but asks me first. I'd rather avoid drama...

ReyesToy · February 2012

I only posted about our engagement and then posted pics of our engagement photos...I don't post anything about wedding planning to avoid awkward situations.

lv2011 · February 2012

I think I may be a sort of Facebook anomoly. I only have 23 "friends" and they're all immediate family and very close friends. It never matters what I post about the wedding because they're all super low-key and I'm inviting them all anyway. I don't post very often about anything anyway, let alone the wedding. So maybe just make sure you set your settings to post those sort of comments and updates so a select group you can trust can see them? I think quitting altogether would take the fun out of sharing the joy and excitement with the ones you love.

minionlover · February 2012

Well I posted in the other thread but now my post is gone but I basically said that I am not a fan of FB and I do not think that you are over-reacting at all. Some people on there like to start drama and if you stop posting about the wedding you will stop people from trying to create it.

lepoissonrouge · February 2012

I didn't even post anything about the engagement, just changed my relationship status and people figured it out that way. I haven't posted anything since then.

I did enter a flower contest, which I was kind of wary about... but my sister really really pushed and promoted it and I couldn't really stop her. So I got a few awkward things from that, but other than that I have just sort of tried to keep quiet about it. I realized that simply ignoring them worked best for me, especially if it was someone that you're not going to run into in your everyday life... which is a possibility witht his friend you haven't seen in ten years.

mpjf1001 · February 2012

I've posted a couple of things, I dont really get any posts or messages from random people except a former co-worker but I just ignore her when she writes "i would love to come to your wedding"
I figure no response is the better way to go! I'm not going to put my happiness on pause or censor my FB updates bc people are rude and have no common sense!

brainybrunette · February 2012

I post general things on Facebook. Like: We're engaged! or Said Yes to a Dress! I don't post any specific details or pictures of my dress, DIY projects etc. I also don't vent on Facebook either.... not every person that I'm "friends" with needs to know about the STD envelope box getting wet and 1/4 of the envelopes getting ruined LOL!

Although, a few people that are invited to the wedding now follow my Pinterst account where I do have pcitures of a lot of these things/ideas. Some of these things I wanted to keep a surprise. There's no way to block someone on Pinterest though. Also, I'm not going to stop using Pinterest because that's where I have my ideas organized. I guess those guests who follow me are only a small % of our guests and I have so many ideas on Pinterest, there's no way of knowing which ones I'm actually using.

BMBrinson · February 2012

I don't really post anything online, and haven't since getting engaged. After my save the dates went out I got people asking where theirs was...I didn't even mention them. I would'nt post online....but I think you still need to be prepared for a few awkward moments...

brainybrunette · February 2012

I should add:

I'm DEFINITELY not posting: sent STDs out or sent Invites out. That's just asking for all sorts of trouble LOL!

ktelizabeth86 · February 2012

I don't post any specific details, but I do make comments about the wedding . . . "Going BM dress shopping", "Dress fitting today", etc.

I have had two people (that are absolutely not invited to the wedding) make comments to me. One is a guy from high school that I like, but haven't seen in years. Even in high school we didn't really hang out. The other is a girl that is mutual friends with some of our friends, but we aren't friends with her directly. Honestly, I'm not a huge fan of her. Both of these people put comments on my FB "I better get an invite to the wedding". I didn't respond to either one of them and they aren't getting an invite.

Two old friends of mine did this for my sister's baby shower too. I don't hang out or talk to either of them anymore and they both asked to be invited. Needless to say, they weren't invited.

Whether it is a wedding or not, I think it is totally rude and tacky to invite yourself to someone elses event. I would NEVER do that. I'm not going to stop putting posts about my wedding on FB though. I think I should be able to be excited about what's going on in my life without having other people ruin it. They can demand invitations all they want . . .

Obviously this is a touchy subject for me! Thanks for the post . . . I got to vent. Lol.

aimee58 · February 2012

Like PP I put up some general stuff, but I haven't had anyone be rude enough to say anything like "I'd like to come" Only family posts stuff like that as a joke "I better be invited!" But it's close family

I say if the posts get too much, just back off a little. Especially if you think that person will start trouble.

tracey525 · February 2012

I agree - we learned quickly a few people assume they're invited when they're not going to be... So to avoid awkward situations I don't post anything except maybe very general things (i.e. "we're engaged!").

Now. On the other hand, two of my friends are crazy about posting stuff to FB, and recently posted a bunch of photos from a very small engagement party we had with LOCAL friends and family. I'm worried about how others - who will be invited to the wedding (and some that won't be!) will feel about it... It's probably too late to ask them to remove the photos, but I did some untagging, and asked them to keep posts related to my wedding to a minimum.

FB can can be so great, or totally dramatic!

Simply_Caitlin · February 2012

I'm gonna have to side with the majority on this one. I have stopped posting anything wedding related as well.

lehc723 · February 2012

I'm trying to keep it to a minimum, since we're keeping ours pretty small and don't want to step on any toes. I use Twitter more than FB anyway, but even there I try to keep it pretty generic or light-hearted, and likewise didn't post that we'd mailed out STDs so people's feelings weren't hurt if they didn't receive one.

BrittneyRN · February 2012

I don't post anything wedding related on FB. I think it's just asking for drama. A girl I work with is constantly posting updates like "going to meet my DJ today!" I don't get it...I mean who really cares to hear that anyway?

music11 · February 2012

Posted that we were engaged, and our engagement photos. That's really the extent of it. I'd be worried about offending someone.

ewithnell · February 2012

If you really want to make your life complicated (not really), you could always assemble a list of the people who you actually ARE inviting to the wedding on FB and put up posts about the wedding and make it only visible to those people...that way you get the chance to 'blurt' out a quick, excited update about the wedding with no drama started with people who aren't invited...? That could be too time consuming if you have a large wedding though.

violakat03 · February 2012

I've stopped posting about the wedding on FB after a few posts that resulted in awkward comments. I have one distant friend that I've only seen a few times in the past ten years that commented on every single one of them "I'm invited, right?" I chose not to reply. Also, I kept getting awkward offers from distant friends for help that I didn't need. I had two people offer to sing at the reception, one offer planning services and one offer a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend for catering. FI posted a status about the fact that when we were working on our guest list we were overwhelmed by just how many people we are close to. He posted it as a thanks to all of our friends for their love, but it elicited several awkward comments - one came from someone we've only met in person once saying "oh you don't need to invite me, it'll be too far away to come." Uh ... we were never planning to invite you anyway.

I decided after FI's post that all wedding stuff is going in the wedding blog only.

CFM102012 · February 2012

I don't post anything specific. Usually its just when we hit a milestone in the countdown. I think as long as you keep it general you'll be okay and that one was just an anomaly. You might send a little FB message to them and say that you're sorry but you're not able to invite everyone you'd like to. Don't give a reason.

Cecelie86 · March 2012

I'm not posting anything. I'll put up our enagement pictures when they come back...but that's it. It's up to you....just don't post anything about sending out STDs or Invites. That's drama city. :-/

Happy Planning,

Cecelie

No longer doing FB updates about the wedding

Re: No longer doing FB updates about the wedding

Choose Another Board

Search Boards