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Best Man Troublesq

coleobrcoleobr member
First Comment
in Minnesota-Minneapolis and St. Paul
So here's the deal.  My fiance has only one brother and we have to have him as the best man.  He's crass, inappropriate, unreliable and rude and all without realizing it.

Fine whatever.  Delegate most of his duties to other (trusted) gromsmen and move on. Oh, but the toast, that's right the toast.  I'm terrified he's going to to swear, talk about strippers, my fiance's sex life prior to our relationship, our sex life, and/or make a total ass of himself.  Any ideas on how to handle this inappropriate and oblivious bro?
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Re: Best Man Troublesq

  • hkieslinghkiesling member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You could skip the toasts altogether.  Just say that you would feel embarrassed by being toasted.  Or tell him and the MOH that you would like to keep them short and give a time (under 2 minutes or something like that).  Or, tell him your feeling uber organized and print off some examples of appropriate toasts to "help give him ideas."  Bonus points if they give tips on how to give a good toast.
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  • ChrisandBriChrisandBri
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    A friend of mine was a little worried about that too--she had the best man and the maid of honor print out their toast ahead of time and had her fiance screen them.
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  • leggwilliamsleggwilliams
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I agree with PP about either reading the toasts ahead of time....otherwise, could you get FI to at least drop some hints about keeping it appropriate. I don't think your FI's future grandmother-in-law would like to hear about his previous conquests ;-)
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  • wittyschaffywittyschaffy member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    We were worried about this at our wedding too but my Dad actually took the guys aside and had a little chat.  It was friendly but definately made it understood that this was an important day and that toasts are not a time to embarass the bride and groom.  Make them laugh and cry, but not turn red.  Might be tougher for your bro in law to be though since it sounds like he isn't aware of being rude like that.
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  • beka0404beka0404
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_man-troublesq?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:81Discussion:b007d7dd-c148-4ec3-baeb-07b902b45a3dPost:a26374b8-84c8-4394-a771-84837117302a">Re: Best Man Troublesq</a>:
    [QUOTE]We were worried about this at our wedding too but my Dad actually took the guys aside and had a little chat.[/QUOTE]

    Totally brilliant!
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  • mrsmidwestmrsmidwest member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_man-troublesq?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:81Discussion:b007d7dd-c148-4ec3-baeb-07b902b45a3dPost:a26374b8-84c8-4394-a771-84837117302a">Re: Best Man Troublesq</a>:
    [QUOTE]It was friendly but definately made it understood that this was an important day and that toasts are not a time to embarass the bride and groom. [/QUOTE]

    That is a great idea!
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