Is anyone doing an HMR?

Re: Is anyone doing an HMR?

• Winnertag1 member

  

  December 2012 edited December 2012

  I hear mixed things about HMRs. People say they are rude for 2 reasons, 1 because they are a straight out request for money which is a no no to begin with. Also, people have said that when couples sign up for something and their guests buy/pay for it, the couples dont get all of what the guests intended on giving them in some cases. The company that sets it up takes a cut of it.

  
  

  I am not a fan of a HMR. I dont think asking your guests to pay for your honey moon is proper etiquette wise. If you have a small registry, guests will take the hint and give you money instead. You can use the money they give you towards your honeymoon. 

  
  
  

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• WalkersFurMama member

  

  December 2012

  One of the most reasonable arguments against them is that the company you do the HMR through gets a cut of the $$. 

  
  

  I would say that if you want money or help with the HM and not actual gifts, keep your registry small and people will get the idea. 

  
  

  You could also do less traditional registries at places like Menards for FH to get some tools or other household fix-up supplies. 

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• CleverThought member

  

  December 2012

  We're opting not to, not to etiquette reasons, but rather the fact that our guests gift wouldn't 100% go to us.
  
  I know if I was giving a gift of, say, $100 to go towards my friends HM and they only recieved $80, I'd be irritated.

  

  Training to be the next companion.

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• Liane28

  

  December 2012

  I agree with PP.  FH and I have been living together for the past 4 years and bought our condo last year, so we have everything we need.  What we really need is money for our honeymoon, but asking for that straight up isn't very polite. 
  
  What we've decided to do instead is to make a very small registry (we could always use a nice new set of bedsheets, towels and a couple of upgrades to some kitchen stuff maybe) and then I think people will get the point if we're not asking for much. 
  
  If someone asks me what we want for our wedding gift, I've been honest in telling them exactly that (that we have mostly everything we need for the house, but that we're saving our pennies for our honeymoon). 
  
  If no one gets the hint, then I guess it's tough bananas for us!

  

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• Belle0720 member

  

  December 2012

  Before coming to the knot I probably wouldn't have thought a Honeymoon Registry was rude because I probably wouldn't have realized that the couple gets cash and doesn't actually receive the activities or whatever they've registered for.
  
  Now that I know Honeymoon Registries are basically asking for cash and that the couple might not even receive all of it, I just think they are a bad idea.
  
  Like PPs said if you keep the registry small or don't do a registry and just spread by word of mouth that you are saving up for your honeymoon most people will get the idea.

  

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