Participation and dress code questions... sorry so long

mica178 · November 2010

I guess there are two things that bug me.
1. I can't imagine pretending to take communion, much less my H asking me to pretend. I don't think I'd want to go to a wedding where I'd be judged for my own religion/beliefs, especially if I was respectful of the couple's beliefs.
2. Perhaps it is the lack of a pronoun after the comma ( I asked my bf to explain this to his friend, and was told that "regardless of what my legs looked like or how I felt", I was not allowed to wear pants. ) Was the OP told this by her BF, or was the BF told this by his friend? In either case, I would expect my H to be supportive of my feelings and tell me that if that's church policy, then he understands if I do not attend the wedding.
But maybe I'm tired and grumpy and seeing things in the wrong light.

Beachy730 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_participation-dress-code-questions-sorry-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:af60cbd0-94e3-4e37-87a5-6f90389114edPost:e6a06858-71cf-45e4-b011-604bdad7356e">Re: Participation and dress code questions... sorry so long</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess there are two things that bug me. 1. I can't imagine pretending to take communion, much less my H asking me to pretend. I don't think I'd want to go to a wedding where I'd be judged for my own religion/beliefs, especially if I was respectful of the couple's beliefs. 2. Perhaps it is the lack of a pronoun after the comma ( I asked my bf to explain this to his friend, and was told that "regardless of what my legs looked like or how I felt", I was not allowed to wear pants. ) Was the OP told this by her BF, or was the BF told this by his friend? In either case, I would expect my H to be supportive of my feelings and tell me that if that's church policy, then he understands if I do not attend the wedding. But maybe I'm tired and grumpy and seeing things in the wrong light.
Posted by mica178[/QUOTE]

No I think its just a matter of how we are perceiving her post. I (and I believe Squirrly as well) took it as her BF relaying this information to her about their religion and customs. Its not that he said "who cares about the scars on your legs you are wearing a skirt." It was more along the lines of "unforunately the religious customs aren't altered for physical appearances, so you wouldn't be able to wear pants."

I can understand about the communion part, but again I'm giving the BF the benefit of the doubt and hoping that he just doesn't understand the important and meaning behind communion, and not that he is just disregarding it. Either way, these are all assumptions since the OP won't come back and confirm anything.

leia1979 · November 2010

I also read this as the BF relaying the message. It sounds like it would save OP a lot of headache to simply not attend.

Calypso1977 · November 2010

did OP say it was a Catholic church somewhere adn i missed it? it not, why is everyone assumign its catholic? if it was a catholic church, tehy would NOT be encouraging EVERYONE to take communion since only catholics can receive communion in a catholic church.

ootmother2 · November 2010

late here.
The Roman Catholic Church does not require anyone to cover their heads, wear long sleeves, long skirts or have a restricition about women in pants.

Non Cathoics can't take communtion but that's about the only things that fits.

Ask the BF or just say you don't want to go

strlzfan11 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_participation-dress-code-questions-sorry-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:af60cbd0-94e3-4e37-87a5-6f90389114edPost:1deb83f5-7cb8-4710-b81f-3b6a7a2f957c">Re: Participation and dress code questions... sorry so long</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Participation and dress code questions... sorry so long : You said it much better than I did. And clearly I think we are the only 2 people seeing it this way.
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

That's how I see it too.

smokeybailey · November 2010

I bet you the reception will be dry as a bone.

Another reason to pass.

::turns off computer and heads to happy hour::

hcbrowne · November 2010

I grew up around a family who did not allow girls to wear pants (ever), they could only wear skirts, dresses, jumpers, or cullottes (sp idk), the boys could only wear pants, no shorts. This was every day, not just for Church. They also did not watch, or own a television. They were Southern Baptist. Not pushy at all abt their religion (they babysat my brother and I for many years)....like it sounds that these ppl are, but they very well could be Baptist. Baptists do communion as well, and are not restrictive the way that the Catholic church is.

srkropf · November 2010

If you don't want to go-- don't go

Participation and dress code questions... sorry so long

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