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Save The Dates???

USMCBride90USMCBride90
100 Comments
in Military Brides
So, just got back from visiting FI in Cali and we decided on a date!! We knew it would be this year, but hadn't picked a date until now. Since we are having the ceremony out in California on the beach, we don't expect a whole lot of people to be able to make it out there for the wedding. Just our close family and friends and whoever can make it, and then we'll have a reception later back in our home state.

So my question is this - Do I need to send out STD's? And if I do, who all do I send them too since not everyone will be at the wedding? Also, since the reception won't be until a month or two after the wedding, how do I put that on the invitations? Forgive me if these are dumb questions, just a little confused as how STD's and invitations work with this type of situation.
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Re: Save The Dates???

  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    You certainly don't ever need to send out save-the-dates - they are totally voluntary!  They're usually used for weddings where a good portion of the guests will have to travel or when it's a busy weekend (like mine, over Labor Day weekend) so they don't make other plans.

    If you want to do save-the-dates, by all means do it!  If you have a small guest list of only nearest-and-dearest, it might just be easier to call them all and say, "Hey, how are you?  Guess what, we picked a date!  We're getting married on the 5th of August, and you're definitely invited, so mark your calendar!  It'll be in this town in California, if you need more information let me know!"  Then at least they can mark it off.  Save-the-dates feel repetitive with my family as they all know the date already!  Haha!

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  • IrishcurlsIrishcurls member
    1000 Comments
    edited January 2012
    Personally, I would not make the judgement call as to who can and cannot make it. I would invite everyone you want at your wedding and let them make that decision. If you get a huge No response, then consider the AHR later, but it's not necessary if a lot of people can make it.

    Regardless, to your original point, if people do have to make travel arrangements, I think STDs are appropriate, but never required. It's up to you--you can make them cheaply. We just did plain postcards, and a lot of people have good luck with free printing from VistaPrint or deals on other websites. I also personally know of a great graphic designer who is just starting up her business, and might be willing to give you a 'friends and family discount' if you were interested in a custom job. (But I'm not advertising for a vendor, I swear!)

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  • AmandaSC1988AmandaSC1988 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary
    Personally, If you are going to do STDs, I would send STDs to the people that you want to show up; the important people that will more than likely be there. I would send invites to just those people that you sent STDs to and then send wedding announcements after the wedding along with an invitation to the reception to all the rest of your guests.  I have seen many people do it this way and have never felt offended that I didn’t get invited to the wedding because I knew it was a small wedding and I felt honored that I could celebrate the wedding when they returned!
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  • SamiJoeBSamiJoeB
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    I think I kind of had the same situation as you and I opted to not do STD's.  We got married around Christmas in H's home state, so I knew that other than my Immediate family, no one else would be able to make it.  I still invited people, because like C said, it's not up to you to say who can come and who can't come, unless you just don't invite them.. Does that make sense?
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  • USMCBride90USMCBride90
    100 Comments
    Ok that helps alot. I think I'll just not send out STD's and send wedding invitations to everyone who we'd like to be there - whether they can make it or not - and then after the wedding send out announcements to everyone saying when the reception will be. That should work!!
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  • SamiJoeBSamiJoeB
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    Oh! That's exactly what we did! I forgot about those, but my mom and I did them, and then as soon as we picked a picture we liked we got a bunch of copies and sent them out.. Good Call!
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  • USMCBride90USMCBride90
    100 Comments
    I think this will work out perfectly! And we're definitely working with a tight budget, so I'm thinking it'll be pretty easy to make all of them ourselves using some of our engagement pictures.

    Telling my family about all the plans tonight. Wish me luck!!
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