Marrying a man with the same last name?

BrieBelle00 · January 2010

Any of you lovelies on here run into the issue where you and your FI, or if not you then someone you know of, have both had the same last name?

How were the invitations worded? Did you use your full names? Was there any awkwardness between your families for all having the same last name? Any info you'd be willing to share would be fabulous!

PS- This is not some weird incestuous thing... the couple are not related to each other, they just happen to have the same last name.

Thanks ladies!

BrieBelle00 · January 2010

They have a very UNcommon last name: Rhykendal. Apparently they did a lot of research when they first met 7 years ago because neither of them had ever met anyone with their last name that they weren't related to. From what they found out through their families is that there are two Rhykendal 'clans' in the U.S. One family is from Oregon, the other is Pennsylvania, and the two families are totally unrelated. They were friends for a long, long time... actually, both of them have even been married and divorced, but things changed with them, and they are getting married.

They, even though they know they aren't related, feel weird about sending invites to attend the Marriage of "Jane Jill Rhykendal and John Jim Rhykendal" yada yada yada... and they are kind of in a battle with their parents about whether or not to put an announcement in their respective hometowns' papers etc... Would it be weird to just put their first names on the invites? Its really more their families making the whole situation a little on the weird side... and they are about to the point of eloping completely alone just so they dont have to deal with it.

I agree with the point about hitting the jackpot so to speak though lol, all the name change bs seemed to take forever when I got married lol

SarahPLiz · January 2010

I say screw what other people think. They didn't choose their names so they shouldn't have to give up having a wedding just because they have the same name. Obviously their families know they aren't related. And their friends should know.. who else is there to worry about?

RachNRich · January 2010

No offense, but if I were your friend, I wouldn't want you posting my "uncommon" last name on an internet forum.

kikibaby · January 2010

I've always kind of wanted to find someone with my first name as a last name. I've met people but they were either a) a female or b) not someone I would date. (First name is Lindsey if ya don't know)

Hey Rach- what's the dress for? you going to the Grammy's this weekend?

mocha beans · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_marrying-man-same-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0b88016f-d8e7-4f16-82f0-8f4f937124f5Post:bd0e8b10-ba48-4c75-a325-ca6def211d15">Re: Marrying a man with the same last name?</a>:
[QUOTE]No offense, but if I were your friend, I wouldn't want you posting my "uncommon" last name on an internet forum.
Posted by RachNRich[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I'd highly suggest removing their last names from your post. Especially with full, uncommon last names, and the knowledge of them being in either PA or OR. You really can't just be too careful, there's weirdos out there and you never expect anything to happen, but unpleasant things have happened when people post identifying info on the forums.

RachNRich · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_marrying-man-same-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0b88016f-d8e7-4f16-82f0-8f4f937124f5Post:f5fb75ee-17c5-4260-9d04-ae1c63ac7c67">Re: Marrying a man with the same last name?</a>:
[QUOTE]I've always kind of wanted to find someone with my first name as a last name. I've met people but they were either a) a female or b) not someone I would date. (First name is Lindsey if ya don't know) <strong>Hey Rach- what's the dress for? you going to the Grammy's this weekend? </strong>
Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]

<div>Oh man, I wish. Nah--just tried it on the other day during my first-ever trip to a Neiman Marcus, and I fell in love with it. I couldn't, of course, afford it---even though it was clearance to 70% off.</div>

pooh8402 · January 2010

I don't think it's weird at all, good on the chick for not having to change her name. and I'm very close to having FI's last name. his last name is the same as my mom's maiden name (therefore, the same as my maternal grandparents' last name). if I had been born out of wedlock or something, I would have had the same last name as my FI. so my grandparents, his parents, his brother and SIL, and his uncle and aunt are all on my guest list and all have the same last name, but some are not related to the others.

and I actually do know someone whose first name is the same as her husband's last name. her name is like Kelly Kelly (name changed to protect the innocent, but you can see how the name could be a first and a last name--hers is the same situation).

ootmother2 · January 2010

nah

My ExH's first wife's name was the same as his. I didn't change my name but that really had nothing to do with why I didn't.

ootmother2 · January 2010

I love that dress Rach!

sorry I'm so broke right now

BrieBelle00 · January 2010

They asked me to pose the question on the board and said it was more than fine to use their last name(s)..? And obvi the first names are not real... and they do not live in either of the states that the clans are from. So, their requests call trump. They were actually a little adament about posting the last name because it is uncommon . Just an FYI and disclaimer.

SparrowSong · January 2010

My thoughts would be "oh , that's convenient." And I wouldn't care much past that. (I have no intention of changing my name ever. But if coincidentally I could have the same name as my husband and kids, all the better.)

kikipania · January 2010

I don't think it's weird. Plenty of people have the last name "Smith" or something equally as common.

I'd go with a traditional church wording...

"Bride's parent's names
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Jane Elizabeth
to
Mr John Michael Doe
On.... blah blah"

JanoBean75 · January 2010

My paternal grandparents had the same last name. It's basically the Smith or Jones of the Spanish world.

Lyss5782 · January 2010

1. Wasn't there a big "news" story about a couple that met on facebook because they had the exact same first and last name and then got married?

2. Someone on another board (Chit Chat?) was writing that if she takes her FI's name she will be Lindsay Lindsay, which makes me wonder why she ever started dating Mr. Lindsay in the first place.

3. I know someone from HS that married a guy with the same last name. I dont know what she did in her real life but on facebook she hyphenated it (So like Julie Smith-Smith), which I think is kind of dumb.

Okay, that's all the name stories I have to contribute.

TheSaltyPeanut · January 2010

I don't think it's a big deal at all and I truthfully wouldn't do anything different in every aspect of the wedding.

Marrying a man with the same last name?

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