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katiewhompus
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What do you think about this (baby related)
One of the girls on my ttc board is ready to give up completely. Her husband had a vasectemy early in their marriage, got it reversed a year ago and still has no swimmers. They have tried numerous IVF procedures and run a slew of tests. They are going to do 3 months of implantation with a sperm donor, and if that doesn't work just scrap having kids all together. Adoption is not an option at all.
The thing I side eye though, is if you are using a sperm donor the kid is only half yours anyways, so why not take the step into adoption?
It reminded me of Jas's statement the other day. If people aren't willing to adopt children if they are unable to have them, did they really want them to begin with?
I also think it's interesting how our culture is so set on having a "redo" button that we do things like this. Vasectomies (sp?) can be reversed, they are amazed when an abortion makes it hard/impossible to get pregnant, etc. Things have consequences later in life people!
Thoughts?
The thing I side eye though, is if you are using a sperm donor the kid is only half yours anyways, so why not take the step into adoption?
It reminded me of Jas's statement the other day. If people aren't willing to adopt children if they are unable to have them, did they really want them to begin with?
I also think it's interesting how our culture is so set on having a "redo" button that we do things like this. Vasectomies (sp?) can be reversed, they are amazed when an abortion makes it hard/impossible to get pregnant, etc. Things have consequences later in life people!
Thoughts?
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Re: What do you think about this (baby related)
Why don't they want to adopt? Does she really want to experience pregnancy that badly?
I'm very afraid I will have fertility problems and I have told T we will be doing anything we can to get pregnant (include IVF, etc) and that if we do that we could end up with multiples. He said that is fine which is great but I would never rule out adoption.
Otherwise, that is a bummer because there a lots of kids that need parents.
On a somewhat related note, I think sperm is very, very creepy.
I think (and maybe I'm totally making this up?) that the children of sperm donors tend to have issues later in life with depression, identity, etc.
I also think it would be a difficult conversation. I assume at some point they would need to have info on their real dad for medical reasons, and how do you tell a kid that you are their real mommy but dad is not their real daddy? At least adoption is a clear cut thing.
House / Baby blog
Actually wouldn't most men be kinda creeped out by the thought of their wives being impregnated by some other guy's (superior?) sperm!? Or am I way off base here?
And isn't IVF and other fertility treatments HELLA expensive anyway? What's the difference between that and adoption?
Planning / Married / TTD /
FI and I would be open to adoption if we can't conceive. I don't judge (or I try not to) anyone's choices or motivations, but I think there's a difference between wanting to experience pregnancy and wanting to experience parenthood.
I made a bio?!?
Planning / Married / TTD /
[QUOTE]I am not sure how Ben would feel about using a donor but I would just feel creepy about it. Just... no. Actually wouldn't most men be kinda creeped out by the thought of their wives being impregnated by some other guy's (superior?) sperm!? Or am I way off base here? And isn't IVF and other fertility treatments HELLA expensive anyway? What's the difference between that and adoption?
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]
It varies with the different treatments. Things like Sperm Analysis are only about $100. Other treatments can go into the tens of thousands. Adoptions range from $20,000-$60,000. I also read the average time from initial application to taking home a kid for adoption was 4 years, so there is that as well. It's definitely not as easy as a lot of people like it to be.
House / Baby blog
Is it strange that although I'm considering being an egg donor, I wouldn't ever use donor eggs or sperm to have a child?
I'd adopt though. FI and I have talked about having children and also adopting, not in an "if we can't have kids" way, but in a "once we're done having kids" way. We want to adopt an older child, but know that we need some years of experience first.
[QUOTE]AATB, some health insurances will cover fertility treatments, but they won't cover adoptions. Is it strange that although I'm considering being an egg donor, I wouldn't ever use donor eggs or sperm to have a child? I'd adopt though. FI and I have talked about having children and also adopting, not in an "if we can't have kids" way, but in a "once we're done having kids" way. <strong> We want to adopt an older child, but know that we need some years of experience first.
</strong>Posted by pirategal03[/QUOTE]
I told this to someone the other day and they looked at me like I was nuts. I think there's a definite learning process adults take as babies grow up. If something happened to sil/bil (God forbid) Z would be our child. The thought of being a mom to an already 4 year old is terrifying. I don't know what to do!
House / Baby blog
Even still though... I think I'd rather adopt than have a donor.
And we want to be able to be good role models and authority figures to an older child. We're mid-20s right now, we think we'll need a larger age gap to have the right kind of authority because yes, older kids come with more baggage. It will be a challenge. But we feel like generally when people think "adoption" they think of babies and very young children, we want to give an older child a family.
One of my good friends growing up was an orphan, her parents had both died when she was in elementary school. She was shuffled around for a while and didn't get adopted and ended up in the children's home in my hometown. She turned 18 and had to get special permission to live there through the end of her senior year of high school. Graduation day, she was kicked out. She had to rely on her highschool friends and their parents for a while until college started, and then she moved into the dorms.
Even knowing her, and being close to her, I can't imagine what her struggle has been like.
House / Baby blog
[QUOTE]Okay, I'm heading out. And by the time I get home and want to kui, no one will be here. Darn you time zones!
Posted by jasmineh7777[/QUOTE]
Have a great night, Jas :)
House / Baby blog
[QUOTE]Also sometimes the testing itself is worse than the procedure. A full panel of tests costs somewhere around $1600 in some areas, just for a blood test.
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]
My blood tests cost $2,000 and none of it was covered by my insurance or Tim's. The Clomid, Ovidrel and pelvic ultrasound cost about $400 a month, also not covered :(