The Duggars

LOTON01 · December 2011

I know lately there has been a lot of talk about the duggars after the pregnancy and miscarriage. This is just way to far out for me though. They had a memorial and burial for the baby that was miscarried. Which is fine. However at the memorial they showed photos of the baby. I just don't think that was needed.

http://www.tmz.com/2011/12/14/duggar-family-dead-baby/

L&J2012 · December 2011

I'm kind of afraid to look at the pictures, but on the other hand I'm so curious. If I remember I might look at them tomorrow morning. If I look at them now I'll have dead fetus dreams tonight.

But I agree, that's just sick. I understand they want to commemorate the baby, but that's just going too far.

niecie_jeff · December 2011

I dont know what to say...that is a little disturbing. I am all for the memorial, but to take pictures of it? I little out there.

amonis · December 2011

yikes. I agree... I'm all about the memorial service, however, those pics are disturbing.

Ash61612 · December 2011

I'm going to pass looking at the pics judging by everyone's reaction. I understand a memorial but showing the pics?

kelsey+brandon · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_duggars?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:dda0cfbb-9516-491e-9511-7f91a1987733Post:c2e3a5d7-4ae4-45d0-a89b-468fcb223469">Re: The Duggars</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm going to pass looking at the pics judging by everyone's reaction. I understand a memorial but showing the pics?
Posted by Ash61612[/QUOTE]

<div>Ditto.</div>

michellep1 · December 2011

The pictures are disturbing, but just as an FYI to those that are curious but don't want to risk it, there's none of the face or torso or anything. I would say it was mildly disturbing.

That really seems like a publicity stunt to me. If you look at the picture of the family in that slideshow, the majority of them are smiling like any other publicity shot! Who smiles at a sibling's funeral? I understand the sadness of a miscarriage, however I think a private family-only memorial would have been much more tasteful than this.

slice85 · December 2011

I think distributing the picture(s) during the memorial service seems a bit extreme. That being said, I work in a NICU and we often have fetal demises. Most of our families want to see and touch the baby to know it was real and living. Part of our practice is to take photos of the baby and burn them to a CD for the parents. It's not an easy thing to do and I can't imagine sharing those pictures with a bunch of people, especially when they may not want to see them.

amonis · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_duggars?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:dda0cfbb-9516-491e-9511-7f91a1987733Post:c85e2df3-bc7a-4d19-bc9f-cab29a71b4a0">Re: The Duggars</a>:
[QUOTE]I think distributing the picture(s) during the memorial service seems a bit extreme. That being said, I work in a NICU and we often have fetal demises. Most of our families want to see and touch the baby to know it was real and living. Part of our practice is to take photos of the baby and burn them to a CD for the parents. It's not an easy thing to do and I can't imagine sharing those pictures with a bunch of people, especially when they may not want to see them.
Posted by slice85[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Oh wow... I guess since I have never been in that position it's hard for me to understand wanting pictures. I guess every parent wants a picture of their child though. I guess the whole idea of death (of anything, human, animal, etc) is really hard for me to handle so having a picture of it would be harder. But like I said, i have never (an hope never to be) been in that position.

</div>

Ash61612 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_duggars?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:dda0cfbb-9516-491e-9511-7f91a1987733Post:dc73cb48-82e2-4a01-bb82-bc2e49c47d62">Re: The Duggars</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: The Duggars : Oh wow... I guess since I have never been in that position it's hard for me to understand wanting pictures. I guess every parent wants a picture of their child though. I guess the whole idea of death (of anything, human, animal, etc) is really hard for me to handle so having a picture of it would be harder. But like I said, i have never (an hope never to be) been in that position.
Posted by amonis[/QUOTE]
I agree Amanda

chelseakopperud · December 2011

I ddint think the photos were disturbing at all. It is a great way to show the world that it was a life, even though the baby wasnt born yet. I dont see anything wrong with it.

jaime10285 · December 2011

I think the pictures were sad, not disturbing. They were just really of tiny feet and tiny hands. However, I think it might be disturbing to pass them out at a memorial service. And while I don't agree with many of the Duggar's choices, I can only imagine what they are going through and each person/family goes through it in their own way. I guess this is their way...

Danidawn20 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_duggars?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:dda0cfbb-9516-491e-9511-7f91a1987733Post:b14dec26-21b0-4121-8d08-f1ad5c237e8e">Re: The Duggars</a>:
[QUOTE]I ddint think the photos were disturbing at all. It is a great way to show the world that it was a life, even though the baby wasnt born yet. I dont see anything wrong with it.
Posted by chelseakopperud[/QUOTE]
I agree with this. They were just of baby feet and hands.

LOTON01 · December 2011

It wasn't the pictures that were disturbing to me but the fact that they shared them with the world. I feel like that should be kept personal.

mbishop7 · December 2011

I used to GO TO THE CHURCH that the Duggars are standing in. I know where the Duggars live, the car lot that their oldest son owns, everything. Their television show disturbs me. These photos are DISGUSTING. I do not care how much you loved your unborn child, taking pictures of them and having their body displayed all over the world is just.. wrong. It's so sad that they had to go through this miscarriage, but they are going about it all the wrong way.

I cannot believe this miscarriage isn't a "sign from god" that her body can't handle children anymore. Josie should've been a warning, and this baby should be the last straw. This is just awful.

Tiffany6912 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_duggars?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:dda0cfbb-9516-491e-9511-7f91a1987733Post:c85e2df3-bc7a-4d19-bc9f-cab29a71b4a0">Re: The Duggars</a>:
[QUOTE]I think distributing the picture(s) during the memorial service seems a bit extreme. That being said, I work in a NICU and we often have fetal demises. Most of our families want to see and touch the baby to know it was real and living. Part of our practice is to take photos of the baby and burn them to a CD for the parents. It's not an easy thing to do and I can't imagine sharing those pictures with a bunch of people, especially when they may not want to see them.
Posted by slice85[/QUOTE]
My best friend lost her baby at six months and had these pictures taken. Shortly after she got home from the hospital, she emailed them to me without any warning. I was caught off guard and it was very difficult for me to understand why you would ever want to see these pictures. For a while, she would look at the pictures a lot and after she was finally ready to talk about what happened, I finally understood why she shared them. She was not sending me pictures of a baby that had passed away, she was sharing the pictures of her first baby, Thomas, who she never got to know. It was just part of what she needed to start healing.

amonis · December 2011

After reading opinions and looking back at the pictures I guess I can see having them taken for yourself. However, I don't think sharing them with millions of people is necessarily appropriate. I know by choosing to display their lives on TV sharing them with just "close friends and family" isn't an option (as shown by the article stating they were leaked by a family member") That is the part that is so disturbing to me. The whole world doesn't need to see those pictures IMO.

kipnus · December 2011

My mom has a pic of my baby sister, who was still-born. It seems a little different when the baby is full-term, for some reason.

CvilleClaire · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_duggars?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:dda0cfbb-9516-491e-9511-7f91a1987733Post:442f2176-e40f-4461-b224-8c04ded33b39">Re: The Duggars</a>:
[QUOTE]That really seems like a publicity stunt to me.
Posted by michellep1[/QUOTE]Exactly. They aren't as naive as some people seem to think they are.

Quiverfull is their agenda.

L&J2012 · December 2011

I can completely understand them wanting pictures to remember the baby. However, I do not agree with their public distribution of it. It should be a private period of mourning, not what appears to be a publicity stunt.

Megbo2012 · December 2011

The pictures weren't that bad, IMO. I wouldn't do it, but that's just me. It may seem disturbing to us, but if this happened to me, you bet I would be holding my baby in my arms for awhile, crying. Just because she wasn't born doesn't mean she wasn't living, she was very far along and was basically a real person, again, in my opinion. So sad.

Tiffany6912 · December 2011

To clarify a little better on my position of all this...I was only explaining how I feel about those types of pictures. When my friend sent them to me, she only sent them to me.
I definitely did not mean in any way to imply that I condone what the Duggar family has done.

LindzMarie19 · December 2011

Ladies, maybe i'm weird, i didn't think it was disturbing... it was just a hand and feet...at wakes, alot of people take pictures of the body. its different and not something i would do, but it's not considered out there.

chelseakopperud · December 2011

I think everyone grieves in different ways and I do not think anyone knows their true motivation behind what they did. If they did it to heal and to share their precious child with the world, then I see nothing wrong with it. If they did it for publicity, then of course that is wrong- but we have no way of knowing that and I refuse to judge a grieving family when we don't know their true motivation.

jfellows82 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_duggars?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:dda0cfbb-9516-491e-9511-7f91a1987733Post:ffcb17fd-0ce8-4d5f-9c53-97946e8b97d0">Re: The Duggars</a>:
[QUOTE]It wasn't the pictures that were disturbing to me but the fact that they shared them with the world. I feel like that should be kept personal.
Posted by LOTON01[/QUOTE]

I completely agree. I don't see anything wrong with having the pictures for themselves and their loved ones. What I don't get is putting something so personal on public display. I suppose nothing is sacred anymore...

Shelly527IN · December 2011

I don't feel the pictures were disturbing so much as just very sad. Perhaps the reason they shared these pictures (knowing their Christian faith) was to show that even though the baby wasn't full term, it was still a person. It's not a thing, but a tiny little person. Just another idea!

I was told once about a little girl (1st or 2nd grade) who brought pictures of her stillborn sister to show and tell.....now that's disturbing to a bunch of kids!

CvilleClaire · December 2011

I have a photographer friend in Mississippi who volunteers to go to hospitals and take pictures of babies who are dying. The parents treasure the pictures.

This is very different. The family tweeted them out. They knew the media would pick them up. They are using a dead baby to push a media story. In my mind, they're right along with all the other people that show up on TMZ. In their mind, they are serving God by getting the message out.

MMRoberts11 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_duggars?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:dda0cfbb-9516-491e-9511-7f91a1987733Post:d473f143-238c-4672-8823-eb4a4ce65b8b">Re: The Duggars</a>:
[QUOTE]I can completely understand them wanting pictures to remember the baby. However, I do not agree with their public distribution of it. It should be a private period of mourning, not what appears to be a publicity stunt.
Posted by L&J2012[/QUOTE]

I agree.

Kfudge0714 · December 2011

IMHO there was nothing disturbing about those pictures. I actually thought they were quite beautiful.... when you have a baby growing inside of you for 6 months, that is your baby no matter what the outcome is so I can understand wanting to name her, give her a funeral and even take pictures of her. Looking at those pictures shows that it really was a baby and not a fetus so it makes me wonder how people can just dispose of the baby as medical waste.

As far as the pictures go... I don't believe that The Duggar Family released them to the press, it was said that a family member posted them on twitter.

CvilleClaire · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_duggars?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:dda0cfbb-9516-491e-9511-7f91a1987733Post:4016a6b1-3c8b-48eb-91d6-12e633a10118">Re: The Duggars</a>:
[QUOTE]Ladies, maybe i'm weird, i didn't think it was disturbing... it was just a hand and feet...at wakes, alot of people take pictures of the body. its different and not something i would do, but it's not considered out there.
Posted by LindzMarie19[/QUOTE]
I'm Irish. I've been to A LOT of wakes. I have never seen anyone take pictures of the body.

What's more, I have never seen anyone take pictures of the body of a loved one and put them out via Twitter.

diamondx423 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_duggars?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:dda0cfbb-9516-491e-9511-7f91a1987733Post:e99a20c9-2a58-49de-84ae-34746495008c">Re: The Duggars</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: The Duggars : I'm Irish. I've been to A LOT of wakes. I have never seen anyone take pictures of the body. What's more, I have never seen anyone take pictures of the body of a loved one and put them out via Twitter.
Posted by CvilleClaire[/QUOTE]

This, except I'm not Irish =) There are pictures of people while they were alive around at a wake, but never of them in the coffin. Thinking about it creeps me out a bit.

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