Wedding Etiquette Forum

gift for engagement party?

We were invited to an engagement party. This is a fairly new thing for us. Over the 7 years we have been married we have been to 30 or so weddings but not one engagement party. Are we expected to bring a gift or just the usual hostess type thing flowers, bottle of wine, etc.
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Re: gift for engagement party?

  • You can, but i isn't required. At my engagement party we mostly got bottles of wine.

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  • I wasn't expecting gifts at my engagement party - they usually aren't gift giving events (at least in my circle). My family gave us money to go towards the wedding, picture frames and wine. I think almost everyone gave a card though. I'd say get a card. If you're comfortable with giving a gift, a bottle of wine would be nice.
  • I have only been invited to one engagement party and was barely speaking to the couple at the time, so I didn't go. Since I didn't go and because of the dynamic of the relationship (I knew I would be gossipped about if I didn't acknowledge it in some way), I felt compelled to send a gift, so I just sent a congratulatory card with a gift card inside. Otherwise, I probably wouldn't have done a gift. 
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  • I've only gone to one engagement party and I just brought a nice congratulatory card.
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  • In my area, engagement parties tend to be gift giving events. If they are registered already, I'd buy something in from their list at a price point you feel comfortable. If not, if you know the couples restaurant preferences, a gift card to one of their favorite places would be nice. I know I always appreciate a dinner out with my H. Or a Visa gift card works well too. 
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  • In my circle they are not gift-giving events.

    You might want to call the host/ess and find out what the norm is?
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  • ditto PPs.  It's not required but would be nice if you feel compelled.

    One caveat - we were invited to a Hindu engagement party two years ago.  Per their traditions it was practically a wedding in itself (hundreds of guests, catered meal, live entertainment, and there was a formal ceremony of setting the wedding date as well).  Based on what I had researched it was very much expected that guests give gifts; about in line with what we'd normally give at a wedding.  So if it's a different culture I'd recommend some online research.
  • We received gifts from all 80 of our guests at our engagement party, except for my FILs!! That is a story in and of itself. However, we weren't expecting it and wouldn't have been disappointed to not receive any gifts.

    Our favorite engagement gift was a gift certificate to an amazing restaurant, and a crate with three bottles of wine, with little cards saying "for your first anniversary," "for your first Christmas" etc.
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  • In my circle engagement parties aren't gift giving events, but sometimes some family members might slip a check or some cash into the card.

    My friend recently went to an engagement party where the bride and groom had registered. As in... the registry information was on the engagement party invitation. Super klassy.

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  • Last engagement party I went to, we took a bottle of sparkling wine for the couple and I gave the future bride a subscription to Brides magazine. . .  .she was thrilled.  I would also ask the host if engagement parties aren't the norm in your circle
  • I'll be going to an engagement party where the couple placed their registry card in with the invite.  Blegh.  FI found my reaction to it quite funny.  But, thankfully, he gets it. 

    I dislike showing up to stuff like this empty-handed but it just bugs me that a gift is now expected to attend this.  I dunno...maybe I'm overreacting?
  • Gifts aren't usually required at engagement parties. My parents threw a small engagement party/welcome party at their house when we got engaged (we got engaged out of the country and were gone for a week). We did not expect to get gifts at all! We just wanted to eat drink and celebrate with our families and closest friends. Most of the gifts were on the smaller side - picture frames, decorative plates or pillows for our house, bridal magazines, planning binder, champange glasses- we also recieved some gift cards.

    Engagement parties aren't really the norm by me. Usually if we have one to attend its at someones house or a bar and more low-key. We did attend one that was a sit down dinner though. It was very nice!

    Base your gift giving on you relationship with the couple. I'd say always give a card. The hallmark store or Paper store are great spots to find cute little bridal gifts. Giving "Thank You" cards is a huge plus, too. We got a few sets at our party and used them up so fast - they were from my SIL - very smart gift.

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