Am I spending enough on my BM gifts?

caitlinc09 · February 2012

I've only been in one wedding before, I was very young, and I know the family was on a very tight budget so all I got as a gift was a custom champagne glass from the venue and I assumed this was the norm.

Seeing posts about the wonderful lavish gifts you all are giving your girls is making me feel like I'm not doing enough!

I am not sure if this even matters, but my girls' dresses were $200 even with tax and shipping, not including any alterations. They all purchased themselves. They are wearing any accessories and shoes they want.

For gifts, I got them each a cute wine stopper (on sale for about $5 each) and will be paying for them to have their hair done on the day of ($75+tip) - they aren't required to have their hair done a certain way, I just asked if it was something they would like and they said absolutely!

I'm also doing a meet the maids table and plan to give them the framed photo and bio to keep, anticipating the frames costing around $10 each.

Is this not enough? Should I be spending the same amount/more than they spent on their dresses? I had no idea BMs were supposed to get so much and I definitely want to show my girls how much I appreciate them!

Thanks ladies!

pantherRN · February 2012

You spend what you can. If its not in your budget, it's not there. I know if my BMs found out that I went into debt just to get them a lavish gift, they would be furious with me.

spalko · February 2012

I don't think you need to spend more than you can afford to spend on your girls. They don't need to know that wine stoppers were only $5 and I think paying to have their hair done is a gracious gift. Everything that I have gotten my girls has been on sale so even though it may seem like a lot of stuff, it hasn't cost nearly as much as it would seem. Do what you can afford, no one is going to complain and if they do what kind of friend is that really?!

kimberlykh · February 2012

I agree. Spend what you can afford. I think the "norm" is anywhere from $25-$100 per girl, but nobody is going to know exactly how much things cost.

levanlaere · February 2012

I was worried about that too. To be honest, I have been in a few weddings where all I got was the necklace I was supposed to wear and I was never thinking oh that b***h should have given me a better gift! I was always just happy and in the moment for my friend.

I think they will appreciate what you have gotten.

S0095042 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_am-i-spending-enough-on-my-bm-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:fcc31d47-f36e-4b30-b541-a4ea1b4574ffPost:a5703e7a-849e-45c6-8605-f5c58ed31bfd">Re: Am I spending enough on my BM gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]You spend what you can. Posted by pantherRN[/QUOTE]

<strong>Exactly. :)</strong> Paying for their hair is a very nice gesture too...
Our girls dresses were $240, so I gave each one $50 for their dress (MOH got $150 for her and her FI, whose the best man) last summer and then I've picked up gifts throughout the planning process. That's the only reason we're able to give them additional gifts (plus I DIY'ed some of them, i.e. "Bridesmaids Survival Kits") ---if you are wanting to get them a little something else, why not make survival kits actually? They are a nice little jesture and mine only cost about $10 a person (includes everything using no coupons/extra discounts)

cpm1223 · February 2012

What I've read on TK a LOT, and on many boards, is that technically anything that you buy for your BMs that have something to do with their attire, accessories, hair or anything else that has to do with the wedding, is not a gift. It's very generous of you to pay for your girls to have their hair done, but its not "technically" a gift/thank you for being in the wedding.

That being said, I think the wine stoppers and picture frames are great ideas. Maybe, if it is in your budge, get them each something personal, something you'd buy them for their birthday. It could be a $10 bottle of wine, some b&bw goodies, or anything that is not related at all to your wedding.

I'm spending about $100 on each BM, but about $40 of that is jewelry for the wedding (which I'm not counting as a gift, but as a "prop" for the wedding day) so I've spent about $60 on each girl. Spend what you can afford, but try and make it more personal and less about your wedding.

AurorasEnvy · February 2012

I've never really heard or thought about spending as much on them as they spent on their dress. I agree with PPs that you should spend what you can afford. They are your BMs because they want to support you & be involved in your wedding, not because they are expecting a lavish gift.

Like PPs said, I have read on TK that apparently a lot of people consider anything to be used on the wedding day - jewelry, hair, makeup, etc. doesn't technically count as part of the "gift". I hadn't heard that before TK, but then again I had only been in 1 wedding and that was when I was 17. I guess I personally wouldn't think twice about it, but I suppose I can't speak for everyone!

bpphoto785 · February 2012

I agree w/ PP, that you should spend what you can afford and a thoughtful gift goes a long way. Even a picture of you and your BM with a nice note would be enough. It's letting them know that you appreciate them!

If it's in your budget, adding a bottle of wine and tying the stopper to it would be a nice addition and you can easily buy a nice bottle for less than $10.

Becky&Chris · February 2012

Unless your friends suck, they aren't choosing to be in your wedding for the gifts. IMO anything you get them is just a nice way of saying thank you. I have 9 BMs and FI has 9 GM so we budgeted about $50 for them and then about $100 for the BM and MOH. I know some people spend way more, but this is what we can afford and I doubt our friends will give it a second thought.

mandi921vh · February 2012

Spend what you can afford. BMs are your nearest and dearest, they are not in it for the gifts.

caitlinc09 · February 2012

Thanks for all the input ladies! I'm thinking adding a bottle of wine to each gift is a nice touch, and I'll get a type I know each of them prefers.

dori851 · February 2012

I also agree that you should spend what you can afford. I know that "technically" their hair isn't supposed to be part of their "gift." But, I can say that I would definitely appreciate that & consider it a gift!

Am I spending enough on my BM gifts?

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