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Don't want Maid/Matron of Honor...?

kenyasobeautifulkenyasobeautiful member
100 Comments
in African American Weddings

I don't think I do. I'm having four bridesmaids. I've known three of them for less than 2 years but I love them...they are the sweetest. One is my future SIL whom I love dearly but is....I can't say it nicely but...she's "easily distracted". The other one is in the Navy and going on a 6 month deployment and won't be back until July 2011 so I don't feel it would be suiting to put that extra responsibility on her, like her plate isn't full.

The bestie I WANT to be my Maid of Honor...lives in Colorado and I live in Virginia. So obviously planning things from that far away would be impossible, which REALLY makes me sad because I really want her to be the one by my side.

The last one I know is responsible, I can ask her, she would be delighted to take the responsibility, matter of fact you can see her in the engagement picture below...lol. Yet I still just don't know. This is one of the first moments I'm experiencing "I want things MY way" and meanwhile I need to make a decision.

Do I really.....REALLY have to have a maid/matron of honor? *someone say "no"* :)

My niece, Kennedy Alivia, Cancer SURVIVER!!!! God works miracles - Daily! image
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Re: Don't want Maid/Matron of Honor...?

  • kenyasobeautifulkenyasobeautiful member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Oh and not to mention today FI seemed very disappointed that I wasn't going to ask his sister to do it :/
    My niece, Kennedy Alivia, Cancer SURVIVER!!!! God works miracles - Daily! image
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  • msapril0730msapril0730 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I don't think you have to have one. I have 5 BM's and 2 MOH's (crazy? I know!)!! I originally planned to have them all be BM's because I couldn't chose. I eventually picked the two people who had been there from the beginning helping even though they weren't required

    If you don't want one then don't have one, unless you want to please your FI by making his sister the MOH.
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  • tyboydtyboyd member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Nope, don't need a MOH. Laughing And why would it be FI's sister? Tell him to go to bed. lol. Do you have a bro? If so, is he the best man? Didn't think so. {Hoping I'm right.}

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  • eagles347eagles347
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    This may seem cliche...but ask the person that you want to ask, because you want to ask her. Try not to base this decision on party-planning or availability to do wedding projects because those things are extras and may or may not happen for every bride. As long as the person you want to ask is a true friend to you and is truly supportive of your pending union with your FI...and they get the dress and shoes on time...they've pretty much filled all the requirements. Just my humble opinion. Hope it helps.
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  • kenyasobeautifulkenyasobeautiful member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_dont-want-maidmatron-of-honor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:7fe732d9-23fb-4d4a-9c88-d46150f97febPost:f6711bee-440f-4520-afed-b807a9071103">Re: Don't want Maid/Matron of Honor...?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Nope, don't need a MOH.   And why would it be FI's sister? Tell him to go to bed. lol. Do you have a bro? If so, is he the best man? Didn't think so. {Hoping I'm right.}
    Posted by tyboyd[/QUOTE]

    LOL *dead*
    And yeaaaaaaassss you are right. He just kept stressing it today over us making deviled eggs like "Well just talk to her about the responsibility and ASK her if she think...blah blah" I tuned out and kept cracking eggs like yea whatever.

    We are close....his sister and I...but like I know me..and I know her. We the type that could be best friends for life...but could never work together...if you understand what I'm saying.
    My niece, Kennedy Alivia, Cancer SURVIVER!!!! God works miracles - Daily! image
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  • kenyasobeautifulkenyasobeautiful member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    @msapril...wow that's a BIG wedding! yes that's what i was hoping be patient and see who "stepped" into the roll but thus far....ummm....

    i gotz nada! lol
    My niece, Kennedy Alivia, Cancer SURVIVER!!!! God works miracles - Daily! image
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  • kenyasobeautifulkenyasobeautiful member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_dont-want-maidmatron-of-honor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:7fe732d9-23fb-4d4a-9c88-d46150f97febPost:afa6af32-b37f-4484-a3c7-62fd82b4695d">Re: Don't want Maid/Matron of Honor...?</a>:
    [QUOTE]This may seem cliche...but ask the person that you want to ask, because you want to ask her. Try not to base this decision on party-planning or availability to do wedding projects because those things are extras and may or may not happen for every bride. As long as the person you want to ask is a true friend to you and is truly supportive of your pending union with your FI...and they get the dress and shoes on time...they've pretty much filled all the requirements. Just my humble opinion. Hope it helps.
    Posted by eagles347[/QUOTE]


    Its a humble opinion but that's also a valued opinion.
     
    Thank you because this is how I felt.  The girl I want....man, she loves me. When I had surgery she picked me up from the hospital...nursed me. She actually almost went to blows for me...like she's just....she's like my true sister. And the fact she's in Colorado I don't think matters because she will be there for me...dress and shoes...looking fantastic and looking over me the whole day before, during and after. And she loves FI....

    Thanks for your input!!!
    My niece, Kennedy Alivia, Cancer SURVIVER!!!! God works miracles - Daily! image
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  • kiyamurphkiyamurph
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_dont-want-maidmatron-of-honor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:7fe732d9-23fb-4d4a-9c88-d46150f97febPost:afa6af32-b37f-4484-a3c7-62fd82b4695d">Re: Don't want Maid/Matron of Honor...?</a>:
    [QUOTE]This may seem cliche...but ask the person that you want to ask, because you want to ask her. Try not to base this decision on party-planning or availability to do wedding projects because those things are extras and may or may not happen for every bride. As long as the person you want to ask is a true friend to you and is truly supportive of your pending union with your FI...and they get the dress and shoes on time...they've pretty much filled all the requirements. Just my humble opinion. Hope it helps.
    Posted by eagles347[/QUOTE]


    This exactly.  If you really want her to be your MOH, then you should ask her even though she's far away.  My MOH is my cousin and she lives in my hometown of Ohio where the wedding will be and I live in Washington state.  The only thing I've had her do is plan the bachelorette party, but that's easy to do by phone and email.  Someone who's in an honor position doesn't necessarily have to be put to work, so if you want her to be your MOH then go ahead and ask her and don't let the distance be your guide. 
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  • eagles347eagles347
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_dont-want-maidmatron-of-honor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:7fe732d9-23fb-4d4a-9c88-d46150f97febPost:5e26256a-1a47-4ab4-bc59-64f5c2938d4c">Re: Don't want Maid/Matron of Honor...?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Don't want Maid/Matron of Honor...? : Its a humble opinion but that's also a valued opinion.   Thank you because this is how I felt.  The girl I want....man, she loves me. When I had surgery she picked me up from the hospital...nursed me. She actually almost went to blows for me...like she's just....she's like my true sister. And the fact she's in Colorado I don't think matters because she will be there for me...dress and shoes...looking fantastic and looking over me the whole day before, during and after. And she loves FI.... Thanks for your input!!!
    Posted by kenyasobeautiful[/QUOTE]

    You're welcome...she sounds like a wonderful friend!
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  • flasweetheartflasweetheart
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_dont-want-maidmatron-of-honor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:7fe732d9-23fb-4d4a-9c88-d46150f97febPost:afa6af32-b37f-4484-a3c7-62fd82b4695d">Re: Don't want Maid/Matron of Honor...?</a>:
    [QUOTE]This may seem cliche...but ask the person that you want to ask, because you want to ask her. Try not to base this decision on party-planning or availability to do wedding projects because those things are extras and may or may not happen for every bride. As long as the person you want to ask is a true friend to you and is truly supportive of your pending union with your FI...and they get the dress and shoes on time...they've pretty much filled all the requirements. Just my humble opinion. Hope it helps.
    Posted by eagles347[/QUOTE]

    This!!!! One of my MOH's is my baby sister and the other is my bestie that lives in NC.  We have been friends since we were 18 year old freshman at Spelman and even with all the distance after college we talk to each other at least once a week and email about everyday.  It's about who you want and nothing else.  A true friends will be the support you need no matter the distance
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  • kenyasobeautifulkenyasobeautiful member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    thanks Ladies for your input! I did ask my bestie today of course she was cool/calm and collected like she already knew...lol. That's just how we roll I guess.

    And FI was totally supportive and happy with my decision. And I'm happy!
    My niece, Kennedy Alivia, Cancer SURVIVER!!!! God works miracles - Daily! image
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  • mayjaygirl21mayjaygirl21
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm glad it worked out for you!!!
    Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
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  • eagles347eagles347
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_dont-want-maidmatron-of-honor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:7fe732d9-23fb-4d4a-9c88-d46150f97febPost:8158f93a-c51c-46e2-a23d-9d479962ba0a">Re: Don't want Maid/Matron of Honor...?</a>:
    [QUOTE]thanks Ladies for your input! I did ask my bestie today of course she was cool/calm and collected like she already knew...lol. That's just how we roll I guess. And FI was totally supportive and happy with my decision. And I'm happy!
    Posted by kenyasobeautiful[/QUOTE]

    Good for you! Great check and everybody's happy!
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