Wedding Etiquette Forum

Bridal seating etiquette "with or without parents?"

We are thinking about whether having or not more people seating with us at the bridal table. I honestly think it should be about US two. I do not see the purpuse of having our parents (4) at that table also. is that mean of me? LOL 
it seems to offend some people, like disrespectful for the parents? what are you guys doing with your seating? Thanks!!!

Re: Bridal seating etiquette "with or without parents?"

  • Sweetheart tables are fairly common. Many people will do a sweetheart table and then just seat everyone else (parents, WP, etc) with other guests they'd enjoy sitting with.
  • Our parents each hosted a table of the people they wanted to sit with (we made a preliminary seating arrangement, and then asked them if they'd like to alter their tables), and we sat with our siblings and their SOs.  Remember you are not going to be sitting in your seat for that long.
  • It's definitely common for the parents NOT to sit with the couple. Our parents each hosted a table of whichever guests they wanted. It can be close to your table, but since a sweetheart table is just for the two of you, it shouldn't be offensive at all.


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  • We had a head table (us, WP, WP's dates), and my parents hosted a table with the minister and anyone else they chose. We put MIL at a table with the few people who could stand her.
  • We will have the two of us, BM and MOH at the head table (we have no other bridal party members), parents with other close famiyl at the two tables closest to us. BM is single and is not bringing a date, MOH's husband is seated with our mutual friends (I asked MOH if she would be ok with being seated apart for the dinner and she assured me that they will survive.) We have rectangular tables for the guests (so lots of room to pull up a chair and join someone throughout the night) and after the dinner the head table will be moved out of the way to open up the dance floor (and will get repurposed for the late-night table) and GM will be free to go sit with FH's friends and MOH with her husband and our friends. Funny enough, our parents actually preferred to not sit at a head table as they didn't want to be at the 'centre of attention' and wanted to be able to just sit, enjoy their meals, and chat with family and friends.
  • we sat with our siblings and their spouses.
    my mom sat at a table with her siblings, and my in laws sat at a table with their siblings.
  • We had a sweetheart table and then visited everyone and thanked them for coming. My family and his sat and visited with their OOT relatives they don't see very often.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-seating-etiquette-with-or-without-parents?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a1ed3878-864a-419e-99e2-a5f27db372f6Post:5a5dacb3-5322-41cf-8daf-3198dabca760">Re: Bridal seating etiquette "with or without parents?"</a>:
    [QUOTE]We had a head table (us, WP, WP's dates), and my parents hosted a table with the minister and anyone else they chose. <strong>We put MIL at a table with the few people who could stand her.
    </strong>Posted by specialk84[/QUOTE]

    I don't know why, but that comment just cracked me up.  So funny, but sad:/
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  • I don't think I've ever been to a wedding where the newly weds parents sat with the newly weds. I agree, having the parents each host a table of the people of their choice is good. They can choose to have family or friends or both at their table.
  • Another sweetheart table here.  It was great to have 20 minutes to sit and eat without tons of distraction.  Our parents hosted their own tables and your siblings/BP were mixed in with guests we knew they'd enjoy sitting with.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-seating-etiquette-with-or-without-parents?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a1ed3878-864a-419e-99e2-a5f27db372f6Post:c7628f65-a8b4-497d-99c6-8faac0c1f167">Bridal seating etiquette "with or without parents?"</a>:
    [QUOTE]We are thinking about whether having or not more people seating with us at the bridal table. <strong>I honestly think it should be about US two. I do not see the purpuse of having our parents (4) at that table also. is that mean of me? LOL</strong>  it seems to offend some people, like disrespectful for the parents? what are you guys doing with your seating? Thanks!!!
    Posted by Patitin[/QUOTE]

    As others have said, a sweetheart table is fine, but I have to admit, I found the bolded part of your post a little off-putting.  My guess is that it's not your plan that's offending people, it's your attitude about it.
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  • pkontkpkontk member
    500 Comments
    edited May 2012
    We'll have a sweetheart table for the 2.5 seconds we'll likely have to shove food in our mouths.
  • FWIW, in many cultures (Eastern Europe, probably elsewhere too) there is customarily no full bridal party apart from BM & MOH so it is customary for bride & groom, immediate family, BM & MOH (and SOs) to sit at the head table.
  • Thank you! You are totally right!! I couldn't see the problem, and I'm glad you pointed out.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-seating-etiquette-with-or-without-parents?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a1ed3878-864a-419e-99e2-a5f27db372f6Post:717150ed-770a-40ba-beed-d42ba22df5fe">Re: Bridal seating etiquette "with or without parents?"</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Bridal seating etiquette "with or without parents?" : As others have said, a sweetheart table is fine, but I have to admit, I found the bolded part of your post a little off-putting.  <strong>My guess is that it's not your plan that's offending people, it's your attitude about it</strong>.
    Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]
    Thank you, you are right! thanks for ponited it out.
  • I've NEVER seen the bride and groom sit with their parents.  At most, they sit with the bridal party.  But I prefer them sitting just the two of them.  I've been the date of a bridal party member and had to essentially sit with a table of strangers for dinner since the bridal party sat separately.  Sure, I could chat, but it's much nicer when your significant other is with you.  I'm all for sweetheart tables.
  • We're planning on sitting with our parents and small wedding party.  We wanted to sit with the people who are closest to us.  I guess I'm alone here, but I don't particularly like sweetheart tables.  They are a fairly new concept, and I always feel like it's weird to sit away from your guests.  I also feel like the bride and groom look more like a king and queen presiding, which bothers me.  I wouldn't want to be so isolated looking from my guests.  Just an opinion.

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  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Plenty of couples choose a sweetheart table, just the bride and groom.  I don't think you have to seat your parents with you if you'd rather not.  Good luck!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-seating-etiquette-with-or-without-parents?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a1ed3878-864a-419e-99e2-a5f27db372f6Post:d8e6d5d9-8fda-42df-a2ec-a0ddd90be3ad">Re: Bridal seating etiquette "with or without parents?"</a>:
    [QUOTE]We're planning on sitting with our parents and small wedding party.  We wanted to sit with the people who are closest to us.  I guess I'm alone here, but I don't particularly like sweetheart tables.  They are a fairly new concept, and I always feel like it's weird to sit away from your guests.  I also feel like the bride and groom look more like a king and queen presiding, which bothers me.  I wouldn't want to be so isolated looking from my guests.  Just an opinion.
    Posted by melb2013[/QUOTE]

    We are looking at the sweetheart table as an opportunity to steal a short time away from the hustle and bustle of the day and be able to talk, eat quickly, relish the moment and then visit a few tables for thank yous.  We are really not seated too far away from any of the guests. 

    And some of the significant others of my bridal party don't really know each other, so thinking back to my own experience, I wouldn't want them sitting through dinner not knowing anyone.
  • We are sitting with Best Man and his wife and Matron of Honor and her Husband, as well as one other couple who we are very close to.

    Parents are choosing who sits at their tables. 
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