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Family too critical?

ashleyghashleygh member
10 Comments
in Wedding Woes
this may get lengthy and rediculous, I apologize in advance! My fiance and I picked navy, plum, and crimson for our wedding colors. My mother, grandmother, and aunt, continue to tell me that my colors are tacky and ugly. They also tell me the decorations that I've made for the wedding are tacky and ugly. None of these people have contributed financially to the wedding, and their comments are really starting to hurt my feelings. The wedding budget is small and I have to be creative about the things that I want. My fiance and I, with a little help from his parents, have funded this wedding ourselves.
I've told them several times their comments hurt my feelings and that if they can't say anything nice to not say anything at all. They continue with the comments and recently I was told that if I didn't like their comments we should go elope.

How do I handle this situation?


See below post for pictures...had technical difficulties
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Re: Family too critical?

  • LnR70707LnR70707 member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    First, you shouldn't put links to your facebook page with your real name on a public message board.  There are some weird people out there.

    If you are happy with what you have made, ignore the comments or just stop talking to them about the wedding altogether.
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  • Butter CookieButter Cookie member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    ^^follow their advice about deleting personal info (people on the internet are crazy, yo)

    As for your parents - stop telling them what you're doing. If you're happy that's all that matters. You're paying for this thing yourselves, you should be happy with the final product.
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  • felicia220felicia220 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    This is one of those times when you need to do your best to ignore them. It didn't see anything in the things you listed that were tacky.  I think you did a good job of making those things yourself.  Have you tried telling them that you don't want their opinion?  I know you said that you told them that they are hurting your feelings but why not just tell them to butt out.  Or how about "If you don't like them you are more then welcome to pay for new ones"  That might shut them up.  Good luck, but honestly just keep to yourself and don't show them anything anymore and do your best to ignore them
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  • Butter CookieButter Cookie member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Oh, and if you want ot make the photos viewable online maybe set up a photo album on photobucket.com or similar.
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  • MNNEBrideMNNEBride member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    If you are paying, you get to decide on the details for your wedding.  Stop sharing things with them.  If they ask about wedding things, just say "things are coming together."

    FYI - please edit your pictures to block out any personal information (ie. save the dates and invitations).  You never know who can get that information when you post it on a public internet board.
    image
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  • *Barbie**Barbie* member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_family-critical?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:0d68fad2-5597-47ed-8841-3aa3283501bfPost:c5166a4d-ba40-4c94-b305-af5dd718f150">Family too critical?</a>:
    [QUOTE]this may get lengthy and rediculous, I apologize in advance! My fiance and I picked navy, plum, and crimson for our wedding colors. My mother, grandmother, and aunt, continue to tell me that my colors are tacky and ugly. They also tell me the decorations that I've made for the wedding are tacky and ugly. None of these people have contributed financially to the wedding, and their comments are really starting to hurt my feelings. The wedding budget is small and I have to be creative about the things that I want. My fiance and I, with a little help from his parents, have funded this wedding ourselves. I've told them several times their comments hurt my feelings and that if they can't say anything nice to not say anything at all. They continue with the comments and recently I was told that if I didn't like their comments we should go elope. How do I handle this situation? Here are pics of things that I have made so far my shoes: <a href="http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30851698&l=2d4495560f&id=74501245" rel="nofollow">http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30851698&l=2d4495560f&id=74501245</a> <a href="http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30851699&l=549e1fce518id=74501245" rel="nofollow">http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30851699&l=549e1fce518id=74501245</a> table number luminary <a href="http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30852023&l=dac4b0c5de&id=74501245" rel="nofollow">http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30852023&l=dac4b0c5de&id=74501245</a> Save the Dates <a href="http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30852040&l=41a4984b92&id=74501245" rel="nofollow">http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30852040&l=41a4984b92&id=74501245</a> swag i made for the unity candle <a href="http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30855365&l=6f43048a91&id=74501245" rel="nofollow">http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30855365&l=6f43048a91&id=74501245</a> card box <a href="http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30863196&l=bd3063a2ab&id=74501245" rel="nofollow">http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30863196&l=bd3063a2ab&id=74501245</a> my bouquet <a href="http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30876269&l=de39228c44&id=74501245" rel="nofollow">http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30876269&l=de39228c44&id=74501245</a> invitations <a href="http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30878233&l=519fc310f3&id=74501245" rel="nofollow">http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30878233&l=519fc310f3&id=74501245</a>
    Posted by ashleygh[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>1) you are sharing WAY too much personal info on the internet. anyone who clicks on your facebook links with know your full name, FI's name, wedding location, date, time, etc. </div><div>
    </div><div>2) I agree with your family on the stuff you have made. maybe it's a Monet deal and the close-ups and bad lighting aren't doing your work justice, but I've seen much nicer DIY. </div><div>
    </div><div>3) you're making a lot of unnecessary craft projects - there are better ways to spend a limited budget than making STDs or gluing rhinestones to shoes. focus on items that will make the party better - upgraded food/entertainment will make the party more fun for you and your guests. </div><div>
    </div><div>4) he who pays gets the say - while your family isn't giving you any cash for the wedding, and you can do whatever you want with your money, they are still entitled to share their opinions with you - especially if you're constantly AWing tacky craft projects when you see them. </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div>
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  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    1.  Listen to everyone and delete these to protect your personal info.  It's so easy to simply post a photo instead.

    2.  Most of it is NMS and not my taste, but if it makes you happy, then whatever. 

    3.  If your family is criticizing your plans and it hurts your feelings, it would be a good idea to keep sharing all of the details with them.
    �
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  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    For the love of pete get these pics out of your post.  It sucks that you've told your family they are hurting your feelings and they continue to comment.  Personally, I think you are spending money were it is not needed- the STDs, the sway, the shoes. 
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  • ashleyghashleygh member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks all for the opinions, we've tried really hard to save where we can so that we don't have to skimp on food and reception entertainment.
    As far as the shoes, that's the look I wanted but felt like I didn't need to pay $100 for a pair of custom shoes so I did it myself for $15.
    The save the dates are on the same line. My fiance's family is from another state, we felt they were necessary to help them remember when the wedding was so they could make travel arrangements. Total cost for the save the dates was around $30 for construction and that's the look we wanted: not magnets or post cards.
    The swag is for the unity candle and it was approximately $10.
    I'll try and post the pictures through a photo sharing site, but most of those are blocked at work so I'll see what I can come up with.
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  • ashleyghashleygh member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Pictures:

    I hope this link is viewable ladies, otherwise we're all out of luck!

    http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=0AaM2Lhi4bNGblA

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