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Non-Catholic Related: Bridal Shower

clearheavensclearheavens member
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in Catholic Weddings
I'm the opposite of most girls on The Knot in that I feel more comfortable posting here than on the E board.  I'm afraid of getting jumped there!  So I thought I could bring my question here.

My BMs are planning a shower for me in early June.  The theme is cooking, and since FI is an amazing cook and cooking is his obsession, they were wondering if he could make the crepes as fresh as possible right before the event.  (Crepes taste best right off the griddle.)  And FI is happy to help contribute to the shower.  (And I know his humor, he'd be wearing my frilly apron.) As soon as the crepes are done he would not stay.

 Ideally we'd have him leave before the event starts.  The problem is that I know he may run over a few mins after the event starts.  Or some people may be a few mins early.  There may be an overlap.

Personally I am absolutely ok with that.  (He's my FI, of course, I always want to see him.)  But I wasn't sure if it would be rude if anyone even would spot him at all since it is a ladies-only shower?
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Re: Non-Catholic Related: Bridal Shower

  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
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    edited December 2011
    did they ask you if you wanted your FI there?  some showers do include the groom (although they usually dont want to be there).  however, where he loves cooking so much and would probably enjoy the gifts even more than you would (unless you are a cook too) why nto let him stay for the whole thing if he wants to be there>
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  • bibliophile2010bibliophile2010 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't think anyone would think it was weird if he were there -- they would know he's making the crepes, and in some circles, the groom makes an appearance at the end of the shower. I don't see how a brief appearance at the beginning of the shower would be a big deal at all.

    I don't know what your circle is like, but my fi would not want to stick around with the gaggle of women who will be at my shower -- too much estrogen or something!
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  • doctabroccolidoctabroccoli member
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    edited December 2011
    For the record, you would NOT have been jumped on E for this post :).

    I don't see any issue with him being on his way out at the beginning.  Like Calypso said, sometimes spouses are even included nowadays!
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    edited December 2011
    I don't think that is weird at all. My Dad dropped my Mom off at mine and helped her set up and carry in food, etc. Then he went over to my Grandma's house to hang out until the shower was over.

    And like the others said, I have heard of some ladies having their FI's at their showers.
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  • rombacjarombacja member
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    edited December 2011
    At one shower, FI was invited and stayed for most of it. At my other shower, he popped in at the end to thank people and help haul off our loot :). I don't think there is any problem with him being around as long as it's what the hosts and you want.
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  • mica178mica178 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I have seen FIs at bridal showers.  It's no big deal.  Lucky you for marrying a great cook!  (Oh, and ditto what docta said -- no one would have jumped on you on E for this question.)
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  • ring_popring_pop member
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    edited December 2011
    I think it would be cute. I actually love seeing the FI come by early to help pick up the gifts or something, I just think it's so adorable.

    I mean, it's not like the ladies are showing up in their underwear. Smile
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  • lisa89760lisa89760 member
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    edited December 2011
    My FI will be at the shower for the whole time, as well as his dad and brother in law.  They will most likely be down at the bar the entire time but come up.  His brother in law is coming to help with our neice since his sister is in the wedding party and will be busy and we of course want our neice there.

      I always think it's nice for the spouse to at least show up to say thanks with the bride. 
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  • Riss91Riss91 member
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    edited December 2011
    I don't think he needs to be hidden or rushed out the door at all! My husband was at the shower for about 20 minutes - he greeted all of the guests and then he slipped out when he felt like he no longer needed or wanted to be there.

    So, I'd say, let him do his thing and not worry about when or if he leaves!

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  • lalaith50lalaith50 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_non-catholic-related-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:d3546ae1-40a9-431f-ae80-d55c3657c2a2Post:9afec6be-0d38-45b5-ad71-62c28827ca9a">Non-Catholic Related: Bridal Shower</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm the opposite of most girls on The Knot in that I feel more comfortable posting here than on the E board.  I'm afraid of getting jumped there!  
    Posted by clearheavens[/QUOTE]
    side note: lol...um, yeah...so it's not just me... ;-)
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  • katetwkatetw member
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    edited December 2011
    I don't think it's rude, I think it's cute! My fiance was present at one shower (but it was a surprise couples' shower), and at my all-girls' shower, he dropped me off, then came back at the end to greet everyone, say thank you, and help pack up our car. Especially is your fiance is providing crepes (uh, yum!) I think it's just fine. :)
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  • clearheavensclearheavens member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I had no idea men were allowed at some showers!  I've only been to one shower before and it was entirely a room of only women.  I think that was what I based my expectation.

    Plus, with me and FI being Vietnamese, we're influenced by the common separation of gender.  Like at a Roman Catholic Mass in Vietnam today, the men and women sit on different sides of the church, even if married.

    But only half the guests at my shower will be Vietnamese.  I'm so glad for your help.  I'll have FI cook and eat with us, thank everyone for coming, and then he'll want to leave after that.
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  • MopsieBMopsieB member
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    edited December 2011
    I'm not doing any showers. I think they are a strange custom and I have always been particularly offended at the ones where the bride holds up every single gift given to her. To me, it's enough that the people we love and care about the most are coming to our wedding to celebrate with us. But...if I were to attend someone else's shower (something I've done many times) and the fiance happened to be there, I wouldn't be upset that he was there.
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  • bibliophile2010bibliophile2010 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    ClearHeavens, I think that your solution to the crepes problem sounds perfect. You'll all get to enjoy the yummy food, thank the chef, and enjoy the ladies' time that your shower (and you culture) seem to want.
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  • clearheavensclearheavens member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_non-catholic-related-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:d3546ae1-40a9-431f-ae80-d55c3657c2a2Post:43586391-06d8-4250-8415-69c0ebc24b61">Re: Non-Catholic Related: Bridal Shower</a>:
    [QUOTE]ClearHeavens, I think that your solution to the crepes problem sounds perfect. You'll all get to enjoy the yummy food, thank the chef, and enjoy the ladies' time that your shower (and you culture) seem to want.
    Posted by bibliophile2010[/QUOTE]

    <div>Thanks for the advice!</div>
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