My coordinator stood me up..

tiggy5555 · June 2011

After a month of no real communication, my coordinators assistant called me last Thursday to set up a phone meeting for yesterday (Monday). I waited all day, no call no email. I'm not too happy about this. What would you do?

Tanq&Tonic · June 2011

UGH! I 'm so sorry you're going through this...especially since you had to use such unnatural means to get the assistant to call you to begin with. Are you willing to cancel the contract with Lori and start over? You still have plenty of time before your wedding, and I'm sure that's why she's putting you off, but a year of chasing down your coordinator isn't stress that anyone needs. And them standing you up for meetings is totally unacceptable.

If you're willing to start over, I'd send Lori an email informing her that, due to her inaccessibility and lack of response, you'd like a refund of your deposit. Lori will probably resist, claim it's non-refundable, other vendors on hold have already been paid, blah blah blah. At minimum, it should open the conversation to define, IN WRITING, a response time guarantee with deposit refund as a penalty if it's not met. Ideally, she'll refund your money and you can find another coordinator who is willing to make the time for you.

I'm really disappointed Lori is treating her brides this way, especially since theKnot has been a great source of her growth over the past few years. I still think she would do a nice job on execution, but the ends do not justify the means.

fabutan · June 2011

Wow, this is an all-new low... I can't believe this happened!! No doubt they'll probably have an excuse for this, but I agree with Tanq that you should put your foot down and do something that demands results. This is NOT a good sign....if she's busy this spring, imagine what it'll be like next year in the lead up to your wedding!

I'm also very disappointed with Lori for her lack of attention to brides....her business has grown a lot because of TheKnot, no doubt. I was in a similar position a year ago. We had already agreed to hire her and met her during our scouting trip, but I hadn't submitted our deposit yet, because I had doubts. In the end, the response time wasn't good, so we backed out altogether. From reading reviews since then, it seems like her day-of execution is great. However, if you're paying for full coordination, you should definitely get what you signed up for. Sometimes it's not about the deliverables, but the entire planning experience.

I'm not sure what the best course of action is, because I'm not usually the confrontational type. I HATE that I was put in that position quite a few times with vendors during the planning process from contract negotiations to dealing with response times. That part definitely wasn't what I had bargained for when it came to planning the wedding of our dreams! Perhaps I was a nit-picky bride and obsessed with detail (hehe), but that's still no excuse for substandard service...

Maybe try what Tanq suggested and see what happens. Certainly don't let her get away with it! Keep us up to date on your situation. Let's hope it improves soon! Knottie vibes all the way

tiggy5555 · June 2011

Yes I think I may look into canceling the contract. I'm really dissapointed because I read so many great reviews about her. I have a feeling she has been taking on way too many weddings. On Thursday the assistant told me she had a wedding that day, FrI, Sat, & Sun.....all full day events. That is a lot of work and I know it's high season BUT being she is the only coordinator there she should either hire another coordinator or spread out her obligations so she has time to get back with her other brides. I have lot's of things I'd like to get done since we will be taking a trip there in Sept.... I'm so depressed...I just want to plan my wedding

tiggy5555 · June 2011

I already sent her $1000.....plus we are on a tight budget paying for everything on our own. I hope she lets me out of the contract and returns my deposit. The only thing we booked was Olowalu and she can leave that deposit with them as I still want that venue....this is so freakin messy I hate these kind of things!!

motoLyn · June 2011

Tiggy I'm sorry to hear that. I hear great things about Lori as well and I'm sure that she is a great coordinator, but I do agree that she might have taken on more than she can handle. I hope that everything resolves itself for you and that you can get your deposit back and find a WC that works better with you. Good luck!

mauidandy · June 2011

Tiggy - I know longer response times can be frustrating, but it is high season for weddings (like you said) and you've still got a long way to go before your wedding...I know they were supposed to call you, and I'm not sure what the reason was for you not getting that phone call.....have you tried calling to talk to someone lately? Phone calls can be more effective when people aren't always in the office and in front of their computers. I worked with Lori, and she always came through for us. When the wedding started getting closer, I don't know what I would have done without her! Hawaii vendors are a little more laid-back, and it's easy to get frustrated when emails aren't returned ASAP. I remember what it felt like to want to plan everything as soon as I got engaged. But based on my experience, if you are patient and give things some time to slow down a bit, you won't regret using her.

tiggy5555 · June 2011

*Mauidandy* Thanks for the post...This has been a problem since May 3rd when I asked to recieve some info on preferred vendors. She responded and said she'd email in a few weeks....nothing! Over a month later and only after a rental company sent her an email on my behalf did I get a message. Jackie called me last Thurs for the phone appt...you know the rest of the story. Since weddings are her expertise, I'm sure it would not take long to send a vendor list and answer a few questions. I feel like because my wedding is so far off I am not important.

Tanq&Tonic · June 2011

I agree with mauidandy that, regardless of who you pick, you'll have to deal with some 'island time' issues (even if your WC is responsive, her vendors may not be). However, IMO, peak season or not, even if your wedding is 18 months away, 6 weeks for a response to basic questions is unacceptable...and especially if she has your money. I think you just have to decide what level of patience you're going to be able to have. Unfortunately, I think Lori's "hotness" is peaking right now and she's really overbooked herself. She's good, but she's not the only one on the island who can pull off a great wedding (and she's not cheap either!). You really need to put your foot down and set expectations with Lori -- and if she cannot meet them, you need the option to back out. Most of all, you should not be made to feel bad for wanting to progress your wedding. 6 weeks is really fair, IMO.

AKWinterBride · June 2011

I agree with all of the above, this is unacceptable. When you have a meeting scheduled, she needs to show up for it, busy or not.

I would terminate the contract with her, I have heard nothing but bad things lately and I really do think she overbooks herself. I mean, it would be hard for anyone to turn down business, but when it starts to affect your other clients you need to take a look at what is going wrong.

There are plenty of other coordinators who can help you out!!

ninja500 · June 2011

That's horrible. I didn't use her services because she seemed so uninterested in working with me and my wedding was only 3 months away on a weekday in March.

syoun · June 2011

Ugh yea that's really annoying. Also why I decided not to use her. Her assistant was great with the initial phone call and answering questions, but it took about 2 weeks to get any response after that. Took it as a sign to go elsewhere. The lack of response didn't leave a good impression on me. Hoping for the best for you guys! If she doesn't let you out of the contract, maybe it'll be a wake up call for her to be more attentive!

suwannee79 · June 2011

If you decide to terminate your contract with her I highly recommend Cherise with The Perfect Wedding Maui - her prices are fantastic and she always got back to me within 24 hours or two days max if she was busy. She has vendors she's recommends as she's worked with them and can vouch for their services but she's also open to trying other vendors if you have a preference.

Either way good luck!!

SydneyKate8711 · June 2011

Oh no tiggy85!! That is so not cool!

Especially for someone in a service industry to be er...so un-service like, not cool.

I agree with the others (but it's still no excuse) that it's wedding season (apparenlty) and everyone is super busy but even if that's the case a simple "sorry super busy cat the moment we'll call you in a few weeks" woudln't have gone astray.

Our wedding is in less than a month and I've sent now 4 emails to our make up artist for the day trying to confirm details and set up a time to catch up before the wedding (at her request since she hasn't met any of the bridal party yet and my trail was in Sept last year as I live in Sydney Australia) but still haven't heard back.

I also emailed our on the day co-ordinator (who was suppose to contact me 6 weeks before the wedding) but haven't heard back yet either...

You'd think with how much we pay for weddings we'd get better service!

Hope everything goes well for your day in the end

x

AKWinterBride · June 2011

Sydney - Who are you using for your hair? I have had a hard time contacting my hair/makeup people too, I finally got an email back from my makeup gal, but haven't heard back from my hair stylist yet. It's so frustrating, especially being so close, I just want to know what time they need us there on the day of the wedding!!!

SydneyKate8711 · June 2011

I'm using Heather Bell, she has been really great so far, I loved the trial (esp my hair!) but so far still haven't heard back from her...

Heather-AZ · June 2011

I too went with Cherise and she has been nothing short of AMAZING!! My wedding is in November and she has responded to every question faster than I expected, has given great recommendations and we are just about done booking all of the vendors. I honestly do not know what I would've done without her.

On a side note, I talked with Lori too prior to selecting a WC and I'm so thankful that I made the right decision!

miltran · June 2011

I completely agree with suwannee79 and Heather-AZ, if you do decide to terminate your contract, Cherise is AWESOME. We just started our planning and she has done so much for us already!! We've had a million questions and have been emailing her constantly. She ALWAYS responds and if we have been out of touch for a few days she will email just to touch base.

Whatever you decide, I hope that it all works out for you:)

mauidandy · June 2011

Ok, I'm having a hard time letting this thread die....for one, because it's still getting comments, and second of all because it is now out there floating around the world wide web for all to see.

I don't think it is a fair or accurate portrayal of Tropical Maui Weddings at all, and I am really disappointed in the people who have commented who have little to NO experience working with Lori. I get that we're here to be supportive of one another and to help with planning, but jumping on the bandwagon to say negative things about someone you haven't even worked with is not cool. Also, to make assumptions about something (saying that she would probably resist giving back the deposit) is unfairly damaging to this vendor's business reputation. I have asked for this post to be removed, because I feel like it is defamatory and Lori has no way to defend herself against the claims.

As a bride who has worked with Tropical Maui Weddings, I want to give my personal experience about a vendor that went above and beyond to make sure I had my dream day. Lori is busy, no doubt, but she never neglected to return my emails and calls. Given that my wedding was more than a year out when I first contacted her, it was understandable if some time passed between emails. She has to focus on the weddings she has going on at that moment! But regardless, I never felt neglected and her emails and calls were always full of useful information. We would spend hours on the phone, planning every little detail. She brought up things I never would have thought about - did we have pens for the guest book? Meals for the photographer? A script for the grand entrance? The week before my wedding, Lori really showed me how much she cared. There was a huge wildfire that shut down half of the island and I was freaking out about the photographer and videographer not being able to fly in from Oahu. I was in tears. Lori calmed me down and came up with a plan to charter a boat from the airport to Olowalu. We didn't end up needing to do that, but she had a plan B for everything and made me feel sane again. I was also waiting for my maid of honor's shoes to come in from Oklahoma (long story). They were shipped overnight, and Lori waited at her house to get the shipment, to make sure we had them for the wedding. She was fabulous during the wedding and I didn't worry about a thing. The day after the wedding, I realized I had forgotten some things at Olowalu and she and Jamie met me back up there to get me the things (they had taken them home when they realized I had forgotten them).

Lori is such an AMAZING wedding coordinator, and I would not want this post to sway anyone from checking out Tropical Maui Weddings. I would hire her again in a second, if I had to do it over.

If you've stuck with me this long, thanks for your time

fabutan · June 2011

mauidandy - just an FYI, I think part of the reaction in support of tigger's post is due to the history of what she is/was dealing with. This wasn't the first post about her situation. These were the ones before, which weren't always negative (and I believe most tried to give Lori the benefit of the doubt):

Original post:

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_hawaii_coordinator-not-responding

Follow-up post:

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_hawaii_coordinator-update

This particular post was the "straw that broke the camel's back", so to speak. It would appear reactive, but I think everyone just felt it was "strike three"...not just for this vendor in particular, but for any coordinator who would've done the same thing. I don't think it was meant to be defamatory or with the intent of ruining any particular vendor's reputation in any way.

fabutan · June 2011

P.S. (Warning long rant ahead!)

Vendors benefit a lot from positive reviews, but I think they also have to deal with negative ones. When I buy a product from a website, for example, I always look at reviews - there are some that are positive and some that are bad. I might read bad reviews, but still go ahead with purchasing that product.

I really don't believe that a negative review necessarily equates "defamation" and warrants removal. I think positive and negative reviews come hand-in-hand....most vendors aren't "perfect" and can't please all of their clientele. As a previous bride, I found negative reviews equally (if not more) helpful than positive ones. I would listen to both, but ultimately it was my choice to choose a vendor or not.

I feel pretty strongly about this, because I notice people editing their review posts and feeling scared to post a bad/negative review. I think review sites (Projectwedding, Weddingwire, etc.) enable people to air their positive/negative views about vendors....this messageboard should have a pretty lax level of freedom of speech. If I were a new user and specifically came on here to say "so-and-so is a #$%&!"...that would warrant removal. But I don't think honestly reflecting on one's experience/interaction with a vendor requires censorship.

For this vendor, I've made clear that I didn't hire her for our wedding. But I can only comment on my interaction with her, which was over the course of a few months before to after my scouting trip (October 2009 to May 2010 - a pretty long time frame). Unfortunately, that experience didn't work out as I had hoped. I've been clear that we didn't hire her and I can't comment on "wedding day performance". However, I've always said that I'm sure it would be fine, as many brides have had good experiences with her in the past. For myself, I didn't have a good impression of pre-wedding communication or scouting trip arrangements, but that's just my personal experience and not a reflection of other's.

My coordinator stood me up..

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